Need Some Serious Advice

[Homer2418]

Hello

I need some real and helpful advice... I currently live in tied accommodation with my job, to which is rent free and has been for many years.but I am so unhappy in my current career and the flat where we live is so unsuitable to bring up two children due to the noise effecting the down stairs business.

Because of where we live, my daughter is having certain social difficulties at the moment and this is effecting her on the lead up to start school,she cannot have freinds come round to play or stay over,she needs space to play and make noise[:D] I need to get out [:(] because i want to give her the best and I know if I dont the situation wont get any better and then my son will endup having the same issues[:(]

We have approached the local council, who cant really help and require us to go on the housing list, it could take up to 4 years and then the rents are high in this area.

Over the years weve been very care free with money, weve had loans, HPI and all that, well to cut a long story short at once time we had debts of over 120K and not alot to show for it,now my debt is down to approx 33k..

At the moment I am working a full time job and a part time job to keep my head above water.. so my majority of time is spent working and 18hr day 5 days aweek, and this is hard on family life.

My worry and concern is that if I move out of my current place and and relcoate, then I know that things will be tight to say the lest, and I dont know if my income from my new job will be enough to cover all of my loan expenses, as well as rent and general cost of living.

Some people will advise me to stay and wait it out, but if your unhappy in a career then why stay.

I dont think I would qualify for an IVA because we have a few hundred pounds spare every month, which I try and pay off alittle more off my credit cards to lower the overall balance.
It seems to be a on going circle and some advice would be greatful.

[Moneystinks]

Just wanted to say welcome to the forum and an expert will be along shorty to answer your question. Sorry I cannot help, but good luck. X

[facingittogether]

hi - i too wanted to say a big welcome!

an expert should be along to advise you.

i wish you the very best of luck!

barb x

[facingittogether]

hi - i am sorry there does not seem to be an expert on to answer your questions, but i am sure one will be along tomorrow - i am signing off now to retire to bed, but this post will put you back at the top!

try not to worry, i am sure you will get the answers you need and get sorted!

love barb x

[Lisa2009]

I think the main things to consider here are, your happiness and the well being of your children. I have a child with a social communication disorder and i would always put him first. Hes far more important than all the money in the world.

Sort out your family's quality of life and then address the debt situation. There will always be a way out, whether its an IVA or bankruptcy ar a debt management plan.

All kids need friends and kids as a rule dont do quiet so why should yours?

Whatever your decide......be happy

[freelili]

Hi and welcome

I would agree with mrs skint, if youre happy your kids usually are.

You really need to talk to a professional about where to go from here, youre obviously stressed out overworked and aware that its affecting family life. Now is the time to look for a solution. There are a couple of IPs who post on this site who would be more than willing to talk with you about your options. You may be able to cut your hours or rent somewhere else to live plus your chosen debt journey. If you talk with one of the experts who will need details of your income and expenditure, I am sure you will find a way forward for your family.

I know this is a stressful time for you but you are amongst friends on the forum who can understand your fears and stress levels.

[MelanieGiles]

Quality of life is more important than debts, and you can never recapture those childhood years and trying to give your kids the best start.

Why not look for a property to rent, and then see how much money you would be left with. You have done remarkably well to reduce debts of £120k to £33k, but it may now be time to prioritise the family over other issues.

[Homer2418]

Just to say a big thankyou to everyone so far that has given words of encourgement and guidance.

Maybe Im just worrying/ stressing over nothing, but when you take the plunge with a new career and relocate to a different area,with all these debts, I just dont want things going pear shaped and wrong.

First and foremost my family comes first, at the end of the day.
Rent and living comes first in my view,loans and credit cards can be dealt with, after all they cant get blood out of a stone.
They can try and bully me all they want, but Im not they only one in this situation

Maybe when I move put in place some form of action plan, just in case we have to go down the IVA route. ie Only giving telephone numbers to famiy and having an exdirectory number will help.
Also to setup another bank account, so that it is prepared if required.

[ianmillington]

I can only agree with all the other posters here - when it comes to the choice between family and finance, it cannot be any contest. There must be a limit to the length of time you can continue to work the hours you do.

Clearly as and when you have some idea as to what your future income and expenditure is going to be, you can give some thought to a permanent solution to the debt side. One point, I can't see that you've told us what you propose to do for a career in the future. That may or may not have some bearing on the optimum way of dealing with the debt issue. Would, for example, bankruptcy or an IVA adversely impact on the career path you choose?

ian

[Homer2418]

Going from two jobs to one job, an officed based job, to a career on the road - driving for a living which should increase my salary by a good amount to allow to pay rent.
Im being selective about the jobs that are being offered and working it all out, on whats best for me and the family, ie the cost effectiveness

The working hours are not a big issue, as Im a hard worker and if it means earning extra for my family, then mans gotta do, what a mans gotta do

Will have to relocate to a new area heading back northwards, so the cost of living will be less and rents are lowers than down in Surrey & hampshire

[ianmillington]

OK

I would say your best bet is to do your job and home moves (which will both be easier I think if you are neither bankrupt or in an IVA) and then take a proper look at your situation after that.

If you are able to do so, you could offer your creditors small payments on a pro-rata basis, either informally or with the assistance of a Debt Charity or a debt management company, while you are putting the changes in, which may take some of the day to day stress out of the situation.

Ian