living with my shame and stupidity

[na70]

first looked at this forum 4 months ago as a means to getting advice to deal with my debt.

really didnt like the idea of an iva-i really felt a strong obligation to pay off my debts which i had applied for through loans/credit cards.

i really wish the banks had regulated credit so much more tightly but at the same i gladly took their money.

this last four months i've found myself bouncing one credit card off another to cover my bills.

i had been late on a few bills over the last six months but now finally there is nothing left.

i cant eat,cant sleep and when my son of 13comes to visit i have barely enough food in the house to feed him when i have him for the weekend.

i rarely put my heat on as im afraid of running up the gas bill-at least its summer,im dreading winter,i'll just put extra layers on and sit with a duvet around me.

however its all self inflicted so i have to deal with it-no one can bail me out.

i havent told anyone friends or family,it would simply wreck my parents if ever they were to find out.

i ventured back onto this site and read post after post and felt the first positive feelings ive had for ages.

i filled in many an online calculator at cccs etc but one person who kept coming to the fore was Melanie Giles.

she was able to reply to my email at 1130pm sunday night and offered great assistance and support.

i have a phonecall with her colleague Tina tomorrow and am going to open a new basic bank account.

hopefully there is a way out of this.

the support that folks offer here is amazing and i hope to share my experiences come what may to others and maybe it will help someone like me down the line who doesnt know what to do next.

i guess what i would say to anyone out there is please please please dont ignore your debt problems.

unfortunately then wont go away without getting serious help and advice and in my case the longer you wait the more the interest adds up.

i still feel stupid and very much ashamed of my situation,i've let myself,my son and my parents down but i hope to make it better.

am glad ive said what i did,it feels a bit better at least.

anyone reading this who doesnt know what to do next please contact a specialist,you will be amazed at how much they are sympathetic,their expertise and their friendliness.

Good luck everyone,Neil

[relieved33]

well done for taking the first steps - it really is the biggest. Melanie's company come really highly rated so I'm sure you'll be fine. I've found it very theraputic to write a blog and get it all out in the open - maybe worth a try. Good Luck.[:)]

[banjoplayer]

Welcome to a wonderful site where all of the admins give their time freely as do a lot of IP's,

You have choosen a lady with a pedigree for getting peoples lives back on track, I am with a different company but if I had visited this site prior to signing with my company then I also would have chosen Melanie Giles and her team to put me back on the road to recovery.

It takes a lot of courage to make the first step and you have already done that, congratulations.

Best Wishes BP

[kallis3]

Melanie has an excellent reputation and you will be in safe hands.

Well done for finally confronting your problems, we are here for you whenever you need us for any advice.

[Debtwitch]

Hi Neil

That is a fantastic message. Everyone needs to know that there is always a solution available. Of course, I think everyone would love to be in a position to pay everything but sadly, it isn't always possible.

I'm so pleased you spoke to Melanie - there's some great help on here - and now I have no doubt that you are beginning the process to resolve your problems and feel good about yourself.

So many people are unfortunately finding themselves in this predicament for whatever reason. It's no use pointing fingers; the situation needs to be dealt with. Move on and lets learn from experiences.

Please keep posting Neil, I think you'll provide inspiration for others out there!

[MelanieGiles]

The first step is always the hardest Neil, and whilst I am sure I will be able to help you professionally, this cannot substitute the sheer support and friendship you will find along your journey from the people who take time out to post on this invaluable website.

I am sure a lot of people will be inspired by your post, as Angela has also highlighted.

[Shining]

On a personal note I can say you won't go wrong wtih Melanie as your IP, her company and employees are second to none, I hope you find the solution for you and your journey is a smooth free one. x

[plasticdaft]

Neil,welcome to the forum.

I shall join you in the feeling stupid and ashamed bit. I bounced my credit around for several years before I couldnt take it anymore. My debt was affecting my whole life,work,sleep,time at home,my family.

Think to yourself that you are building a better future for you and your son when he visits.

An IVA is tough going at times but through constant communication and the selecting of a good insolvency firm you will find the going much easier(and you havent picked a good firm....you picked the best one).

If you have any questions no matter how daft they sound(trust me mate if you ask it,I can guarentee at least 3 others will have thought of it!!)

We are all in the same boat(at differing stages of the journey),and are here to help each other out with any queries and support when needed.

Be honest and upfront when you are speaking to Tina,to ensure that proper income and expenditure figures are used to work out your disposable income and before you know it you will be back posting that your IVA has been approved and you are counting down the payments till you are free of debt.

Paul

[Michael Peoples]

Hi Neil. Excellent post and excellent choice of IP. You are not a failure by any stretch of the imagination and as the others say there are many thousands in the same boat. At least now you have taken steps and found help and pretty soon you will find the weight of the debt lifted from your shoulders. Very best of luck.

[na70]

spoke to Tina (one of Melanie's team)today who was a great help.

very reassuring and enlightening.

fully explained the process and pitfalls.

just awaiting an email to find out what documents i need to gather up while my details are processed.

very supportive,i could have cried at the feeling of relief at the end of the call to tina.

have never actually spoken to anyone about my debt issues.

anyway a long way to go and i know nothing is written in stone.

but the first of many hurdles overcome-first time i've felt good about myself in a long time.

[Max]

reading your post reminded me how my husband felt. Like my husband you have chosen the best IP in the profession - you will be fine and safe with her. By the way, "ashamed" does not form part of Melanie's vocab- it should not form part of yours either! With best wishes and very good luck. J

[kallis3]

Mel's team is certainly one of the best. You are in safe hands.

[MelanieGiles]

Quite correct J - ashamed is not a word that we associate with our clients - they are proud to be doing something to repay their debts.

[na70]

ashamed in lots of ways but the part that hurt the most was i couldnt afford a nice bunch of flowers for my daughters grave.

but no matter what i may have to go without in future that is one thing i wont ever scrimp on again.

[MelanieGiles]

Your little girl would have been proud of you Neil, and she had her Daddy's love which is everlasting, whilst flowers wilt and fade.

Be strong - we will find that solution for you very soon.