If I were the IP I would seek to have her IVA (and possibly the husband's too) settled by the creditors on a Full and Final, based on payments made to date. This is, basically, going to the creditors, explaining the situation and asking them for "call it quits" and consider the IVA and the debts closed.
Might I ask which firm he is with ?
Unfortunately the house is at risk if he cannot keep up the payments and there is the issue of his wife's payments thrown into the mix too.
It might be an idea, if you are both willing and able to, for you to get permission from him to liaise with his IP and find out what his remaining payments are and see if there's a way around this and whether a full and final offer can be made or payments to date accepted.
Are there any other means/3rd party funds that could be used to make a settlement offer?
Alternatively as a last resort perhaps an agreement could be made for a charge to be placed on the property to pass proceeds from any future sale to settle the IVA/debts and perhaps creditors could agree a variation allowing him to continue to live there until his death (sorry if this this seems blunt).
Even if he is the executor, he has no direct responsibilities for maintaining the payments for his deceased wife.
IVA companies are also supposed to have processes in place for dealing with vulnerable individuals.
I am not a believer in just because you get old you do not know what you are doing but in this case any iVA company seeking a contractual arrangement linked to debts would need to take into account capacity.
What they are stating is borderline intimidation.
If anyone has Lasting Power of Attorney (financial) for him I would say get them involved - the IVA company will have no choice but to deal with that person.
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