Please, someone tell me this gets better? I am so low at the moment. We have our creditors meeting on Thursday morning which, I am glad is here, but can't help thinking it will probably be bad news. I have spent the whole day crying about our money problem (no-one knows anything about), my current situation at work and I had an arguement with my parents this morning.
If our IVA is agreed, that of course will be great however, my job is making me so miserable that if I stay there for the next 6 years, I may have finished myself off before it ends.
What I am trying to ask is, although people take lower paid jobs when they have been made redundant, would this be frowned upon if I were to do it because my current role is stressing me out? This has been an on going thing for about 3 years but I was promised a pay rise that has never come. With us being so much in debt, I hung on waiting for the increase and passing other jobs up.
What if I found a lower paid role but was still able to make my payments? I know these are maybe things I should speak to Melanie about but honestly, I am too upset to speak. Also, please let me stress, my husband and I do want to pay as much back as possible it's just I can't see myself being in that same job for the next 6 years.
My poor husband and baby girl are getting all the flack. I am constantly anxious but cannot see a way out, not one for a very long time anyway.
Any suggestions/ advice would be greatly recieved. Sorry for the long post.
The future's bright, the future's debt free. In 72 months to be exact!
IVAs are flexible and if you changed jobs and could maintain the payments there is no real issue anyway. If you leave the job and need to have your payments reduced this can be done by a variation. However, a reduction in salary may be compensated by increased tax credits or reduced travel costs so the net effect may be nil anyway.
I am sure your IVA will be approved as you are with one of the best and most respected IPs in the business so the first problem should be overcome. Once approved your attitude may change and either you may get to enjoy your job better or put real effort into finding something more suitable.
When in debt there is little incentive to improve things no matter how hard you work all your efforts go to repaying creditors and the balances never decrease. Once in your IVA you will have that incentive as you and your family will enjoy some of the benefits of increased income.
Finally, I think if possible you should discuss your situation with your parents as this will go some way to explain why you may be acting stressed. I am sure they will be a big help in the next six years and possibly more so if they are aware of the pressures you are under. I realise this is easier said than done but is something to consider. Best of luck for Thursday.
Its a rough and rocky road isnt it[V], im 3 years in and had a low point last week, feeling like there is no end! however when kind of breaking it all down and thinking it through (as i over do all the time.....damn you over anaylitical brain!) i realised how far i had come and how much better the situation is now!
Yeah im still ruddy skint, yeah i rely heavily on my partner and yeah 2 years still seems like a long way off, but within time things will settle for you. One thing to watch is your mental health, the perpetuating cycle your going through at the moment is horrible, feeling low because of the situation followed by wild anxiety thinking ahead about what could happen on thursday. Its not an easy position to be in but it will get better. Also if work is hell then look around, find something else, it may be a little lower pay, your IVA will flex with it, your health and sanity is worth much more than the obviuosly stress its casuing you at the moment.
Hopefully the IVa will be approved on thursday and then you can finally start to plan your future, if then you still have some anxiety or low mood there is some really great, evidenced based self help materials avaliable free to help deal with these issues, i can certainly show you where they are!
My very best wishes [:X]
Arty
)O(
Last edited by artemischild on Tue Jun 08, 2010 4:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
IVA completion and certificate received 08/10/2012!!!
I am sorry to read what a horrible week you are having - I bet Thursday mornings seems a lifetime away. I know its hard but please do speak with Melanie when you get chance so she can put your mind at rest. The first step is to get the result fm the creditors on THursday then you have a more concrete footing to move forward on.
Its not uncommon to feel like this just before decision time and its especially hard if you are holding all these feelings and worries to yourself. Be careful you do not end up making yourself ill with all the worry, nothing is worth that. I hope you manage to make up with your parents soon and maybe one day you may be able to let them into why things have been so difficult for you of late.
As you know Melanie will do her very best for you and we are all here to give you whatever support you need.
Take care for now and remember where we are if you need us, by phone and on the forum.
Everything crossed for thursday
Regards, Tina Shortland, Debt Advisory Manager for Melanie Giles at Debt Advice TV.
If you’re looking for effective debt related information, articles and news, then go now to our on-line advice service at www.debtadvicetv.com
If you’re ready to ask us for specific advice or help, then get in touch at www.call-me.debtadvicetv.com so you can start to free yourself from the stress and anxiety of overwhelming debt.
Thanks everyone, feeling a little better. I have every confidence in Melanie, just feel like everything is going wrong at the moment and this would top it off with the luck I am having.
Thankfully, I found this forum before we made the decision to start IVA proceedings and picked a brilliant IP.
Made things up with my parents and I am starting to think I may tell them if it's good news on Thursday.
Also, someone has tried to contact me this morning to attend an interview for a new job and the pay would be about the same.
Your right Tina, Thursday can't come quick enough, I'm an anxious person anyway! I need to take up smoking or nail biting to pass the time!
The future's bright, the future's debt free. In 72 months to be exact!
No!!! Pick something a little bit more good for you!!! Glad to hear you've got some positive light shining through - hang in there, its amazing how life throws us very dark times and if we stick with it, we always come through.
Have a good evening.
Regards, Tina Shortland, Debt Advisory Manager for Melanie Giles at Debt Advice TV.
If you’re looking for effective debt related information, articles and news, then go now to our on-line advice service at www.debtadvicetv.com
If you’re ready to ask us for specific advice or help, then get in touch at www.call-me.debtadvicetv.com so you can start to free yourself from the stress and anxiety of overwhelming debt.
Good luck for tomorrow. I am sure you will have a positive outcome to the creditors meeting,Mel and her team dont tend to put anything forward that wont get accepted.
Good luck with the job situation. Lots of people are unhappy at work and do nothing about it. Dont let your IVA be a reason that you have to suffer a workplace you hate.
Paul
Discharged today the 8th feb 2012. View is much brighter now.
Continuing to rebuild our credit worthiness.
Thanks everyone, the support on here is a real big help. Two more sleeps and we will know one way or the other.I will post to let you know right away. Going to water my plants and try and get some sleep. Goodnight x x
The future's bright, the future's debt free. In 72 months to be exact!
Good luck for Thursday, I'm sure you will be fine.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Sorry - missed all of this today as I have been out on the road - 400 miles of it!!
It is very important going into a debt repayment plan that you are comfortable with everything - and that includes the employment which is going to generate the money for creditors. I don't recall us discussing work related problems in our chat - and this is an important aspect, so let's try and have a chat tomorrow.
As others have said, your emotions must be running high at the moment, but that must not lead to making the wrong decisions now which could come back to haunt you in the future. I'm around all day tomorrow - so could you call so we can chat things through?
Hi heavydebt, Im new to the forum so dont have a lot of experience yet in advising, but you are not alone in this, I have my 1st IVA meeting next wed 16th june and am having trouble trying to open another bank account, I just came in from work last nite and cried sore all evening,think the enormity of everything is getting to me now. My mum only found out what i was going through when she accidently opened mail addressed to me and it was a letter asking for over £4,000 from capital one! However after the anger died down she has been great and is so pleased that im getting things sorted.I know it must be so worrying for you thinking about tomorrow but try and relax, have a hot bath tonight,read a girlie mag just try your best to chill,I promise if you find the courage to tell your relatives they will support you big time.I wish you v good luck for tomorrow, take care and were all with you.Holly 1 xxxxxx[:)]
Thanks everyone and sorry Melanie only just seen your post.
I am much better today and do have days like this now and again, where everything feels like it's getting the better of me.
Things were greatly improved at work today and my parents are fine.
I think you are right Helen, it's the not knowing and it being out of our hands at the moment. I'm convinced that everything boils down to our debts and really am confident that if our creditors agree to our proposal, I will be more relaxed and everything else will improve. I'm so snappy because all my energy is going in to thinking about our IVA's. Nobody knows about our debts but I seem to think everybody should know why I am feeling down! Crazy I know!
Shall I ring you in the morning Melanie? Please be assured we are taking this seriously, apart from my family this is the most important thing in my life. We are both very determind to see it through and pay back as much as possible to our creditors.
Not much longer now...
The future's bright, the future's debt free. In 72 months to be exact!
