Dilemma

[Shining]

Schools back and so are the letters wanting money!

This week £23.00 for text books....paid...Today £150 for German Exchange adn £250 for a visit to Brussels to meet with a MEP and see the European Parliament.

I don't want her to miss out and here is the dilemma;

At the bottom of the letter it says 'If financial concers are your only reason for refusing permission please contact me....'

I've spoken to son who spoils her rotten and has just bought her clubland live tickets as well as paying her gym membership each month amongst so much more...remember the Prom? Now he's offered to pay the £150 for the German Exchange which is lovely of him but in return we're agreeing to put up a German student for a fortnight and this in itself isn't a problem but remember we've had no hot water for years, I can live with it but wouldn't expect other people to.

Should I contact the school and explain we're in an IVA be honest from the start (obviously in complete confidence) or let son play and make an excuse why we can't have a return student?

The £250 Brussells trip I don't think she's keen on but I know the German one would do her so much good as she'd get work experience and she is excellent at languages.

[MrsKnight]

Oh dear Lesley - its these kind of things I dread & thankful the IVA will be over when these sort of educational visits will start.
Though next year my eldest will be asked to go away on a 2 night away trip.

I think I would contact the school & explain you have financial difficulties & mention the hot water issue & you doubt this will be fixed by the time the exchange comes around.
They will understand & we all live with things that might not be acceptable to others. I am sure they will appreciate your willingness but understand the dilemma you have, n just see how it goes from there. I dont think you need to explain the IVA - they might not know what one is! Hope this helps & I think its what I would do or may have to do next year if they dont give me loads of time to find funds for sons trip.

[Shining]

I'm going to let son fund the trip I think and one day in the distant future pay him back for his generosity although he says there's no need as I do help him out loads with the care of the twins.

Not sure what to do and know if I explain an IVA it might be a bit too much and it would need to be in confidence, but I know I can't have anyone staying here as much as I'd like to x

[Julie]

Lesley, I would let your son fund it. He wouldn't expect repayment as what you give in love&support cannot be measured.

[Shining]

I think I will let son fund it, he ruins her anyway...but no hot water I can hardly let a german exchange stay here, we're used to it but it'd be a bit primitive for someone else. x

[Wizzzard]

Why have you no hot water, Lesley? And how the hell do you mange?

[Shining]

Hi Ray, not had hot water since we entered the IVA despite spending £800 on boiler repairs! It's luke warm sporadically, there is a major problem with the boiler, fortunately, we've an electric shower and a dishwasher so it's only a bath we miss out on, but my daughter has been known to go to her sisters for one of those!.

It doesn't bother us and I'm having no more payment breaks to try and cure it as we're all caught up now.

Boiler broke down first month of IVA I think it was.

I think I'm going to explain to the school and hopefully someone else will be able to host her exchange student and it will be ok. x

[Wizzzard]

I can empathise with you re the bath problem ... I've not had a good bath for over 5 years and am looking forward to my wet room which is due any week now. It's remarkable how we manage in times of difficulty, isn't it.

[Shining]

I'm used to it now Ray to be hoenst, as it's been so long, I don't even think about it, this is the one time it's become an obstacle. I'll contact the school Monday morning and see if I can book an appointment to discuss my situation and hopefully they'll understand. x

[Struzzo39]

I dont see it as an issue. They can always have a shower. You can always make out its only just broke when they arrive. Or You may get a male teenager who is allergic to washing!!!! lol

[Shining]

well Struzzo I have gone down the route of it's broken today when they arrive and we're waiting for a plumber but not sure if it would hold for two weeks as my hubby's van is outside saying Electrical, Plumbing etc, (he works for builder).

[kallis3]

They're trying to source the part as it's not one that usually breaks and they're waiting for it to come in?

[Shining]

Well there's an option Jan! So long as they don't want a bath I've got everything in else in place already even a spare room. I'll have a chat with daughter and see how she feels x

[Shining]

I sent an email yesterday morning to the school requesting a call back in respect of a problem hosting a german student. Today said call has been made and the school (so different to her last one) was so understanding.

Her German teacher spoke to me and I told her everything basically, at the end the teacher said 'oh is that all' after I explained what an IVA was and the boiler issues, I thought someone was very ill or similar - puts it in persepctive. She suggested so long as we have a shower and washing facilities it would be fine and could just say the boiler has only just broke..thanks Struzzo!

She now insists we go through the school fund for payment or partial payment as that's what it is there for and if people don't use it, cuts are made and it won't be available for other years so she actively encouraged me to apply. She's having a word again in confidence with the Finance Manager who is an ex-Solicitor and will get back to me. I've never taken an hand out in my life I have to say and don't feel totally 100% with this but feel it's necessary and it will help daughters education in the process.

I will try my hardest after Christmas to put away a little extra each week so that we can provide a good basis of food and lodgings for the German exchange as I'm not sure what is expected of me and I'm not the worlds greatest cook so any cheap (must be easy) meal ideas will also be welcome!

Anyone else had an exchange student? I'm assuming 3 meals maybe one a packed lunch will need to be given and maybe a couple of trips out. I won't be able to afford to take them to London etc., but I could do a weekend in Manchester as they're free board and lodgings there for them and some very nice things to see in the centre i.e museums etc.,

[kallis3]

Glad you're getting sorted Lesley, and you should accept the offer of monetary help. It's good to know that there are things like that available.

Can't help with what's required though. The school should be able to assist with that. I'm sure they will have a 'help' sheet.