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Jackdaw
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by Jackdaw » Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:21 pm
Hi, I have been lurking for a while and spent hours reading people’s stories and advice. Thanks to everyone as they have given me a glimmer of hope that all may not be lost.

But about where we are - without going into details we have ended up up to our neck in unsecured debt . Usual tale, easy credit, consolidation, another card, another loan - trying to give the family everything and not looking to the future. Depressed ? Borrow some more money and do something nice with the family, after all they deserve it. Car sick ? Stick it on one of the cards, pay the minimum payments. Of course this road comes to an end and we have had to face up to where we are. In our fifties, in rented, in debt.

Eventually we sat down and added it all up - I cried for days. Once I picked myself up and did some reading we approached one of the debt charities who advised the Iva route.

We are in the early stages of getting things in place for a proposal and we are delighted that Melanie will be representing us.

I feel ashamed and, frankly terrified. :cry:
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Foggy
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by Foggy » Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:47 pm
There is nothing to be ashamed about --- everyone here is or has been in the same boat and, I guess, the majority of people we shop alongside in Tesco or M&S are either heading that way or are one disaster away from it. It doesn't take much to scupper the best worked out finances !

I remember when I actually sat down and totted up my debt on paper, it was about twice the figure I had been playing with in my head for montyhs !! A very sobering moment !
Jackdaw
Posts: 6
by Jackdaw » Wed Jan 31, 2018 8:08 pm
Thank you Foggy, I do feel ashamed though. I walk around looking at people and can’t believe any of them are in this muddle.

Like you, the figure was a horrible shock. I lie awake at night trying to work out how it happened . This is the wake up call we need but I am terrified - not only of the process, but what if it is refused. So many sleepless nights to come.
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Foggy
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by Foggy » Wed Jan 31, 2018 8:18 pm
Jackdaw wrote:
Thank you Foggy, I do feel ashamed though. I walk around looking at people and can’t believe any of them are in this muddle.

Like you, the figure was a horrible shock. I lie awake at night trying to work out how it happened . This is the wake up call we need but I am terrified - not only of the process, but what if it is refused. So many sleepless nights to come.


It will be a bit of a roller coaster -- but, when it is approved and you get into it, you will find it very liberating (even though your finances are not your own for a few years). Money suddenly gets simpler ... if you have the cash you can buy the "stuff", if not ... well, you don't buy it .. simple! For quite a while I drew out the housekeeping, in cash, every week (as per my IVA budget amount) and felt quite smug paying for the groceries with real money and knowing it was actually, really, paid for, whilst others in the queue whipped out credit cards (as I used to do) !

Yes, there will be hairy moments when the car goes pop and you have to actually sit down and figure out how to pay for it (your IP can be your friend here) but, on the whole, life, as I say, does get simpler.
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watzki
Posts: 344
by watzki » Wed Jan 31, 2018 9:01 pm
Don't be ashamed we had over a 100k of debt when we finally sought help,we weren't judged by our iva company.
But it was a long road to recovery with plenty of ups and downs.
We are all here for you,with tips,advice or just a virtual shoulder to cry on.
Good luck for the future
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recovering
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by recovering » Wed Jan 31, 2018 9:05 pm
We have all been where you are. I was in such a mess, waking up in the night petrified. Never thought I would complete my IVA. I am still ashamed of the mess I got into, never told anyone. I actually paid my final payment on Tuesday.
It is not easy but you can do it
Good luck and stay on here because the advice is invaluable
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kallis3
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by kallis3 » Wed Jan 31, 2018 9:11 pm
We've all been there but there is light at the end of the tunnel and there is someone out there who can help.
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luluj
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by luluj » Thu Feb 01, 2018 5:21 am
As others have said you have nothing to be ashamed off - if anything you should be proud for recognising you need help and for the fact you have taken the steps already.

You say Melanie will be representing you - which company is that through - just out of interest ?
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