Low Point - 2 Years in to IVA

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Aceshigh1993

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Post by Aceshigh1993 » Sun May 23, 2021 4:44 pm
Hello all,

Just a bit of a rant really. Even if I don't get a reply it helps to 'put pen to paper' so to speak and write it all down.

Of late, I find myself increasingly anxious, depressed and ashamed of my situation.

The start of my financial burdens started a few years ago. I moved in with my girlfriend, her mum and her sister when i was 18 years old. My partners mother was somewhat absent, and more interested in finding herself a man than she was looking in looking after her 13 year old daughter...

Eventually, she left to move in with a man she'd only just met, leaving me, my partner and my partners sister to fend for ourselves.

My partner was studying in college at the time, and her sister had significant mental issues, and more importantly she had financial needs like any 13 year old does.

All of a sudden, I found myself in a situation where it had suddenly become not a responsibility, but a moral obligation to look after my partner and her sister. Thereafter from this point lies the root of my financial woes.

I relied on credit for almost everything, hopping from credit card to credit card when I maxed out the previous one. Then came loans, store cards and various other forms of credit. I was too young and stupid to understand the implications of my actions, and too naïve to care.

I'm still with my partner, and we now have 3 children of our own. My partners sister has grown up and moved out, but the struggles never ended for me.

I'm 27 now, and as I approach my 30's I find myself becoming increasingly aware of the value of money, and i'm deeply ashamed and hopelessly depressed about the situation that now causes my children to suffer at a time where I should be building a future for all of us.

I came from a family that had nothing. Financial responsibility was never taught to me, my own father went through bankruptcy. Financial responsibility was forced upon me, and I evidently didn't handle the responsibility very well at all.

Foggy

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Post by Foggy » Sun May 23, 2021 5:05 pm
I think of an IVA, not just as a solution to unmanageable debt, but also as a financial rehab. I, like you, have spent too many years juggling plastic and became disconnected from 'real' money --- the actual folding stuff which you can actually see disappear !
You are nearly halfway through yours and things will get a little better after your pay rise. Not only will you come out the other side debt free (and older), but a little wiser too.
Hang in there ... a few years is not a lot in the grand scheme of things.
My opinions are merely that .. opinions based on experience. Always seek professional advice.
IVA Completed 23rd July 2013 .... C.C. 10th January 2014
http://foggy.blogs.iva.co.uk

Aceshigh1993

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Joined: Mon May 17, 2021 2:03 pm

Post by Aceshigh1993 » Sun May 23, 2021 5:12 pm
Thanks - If anything the pay rise was bittersweet, serving only as a reminder of the improvements I could have made if I wasn't so stupid.

Thanks for listening, I'm glad I found the forum when I did. I don't wish my situation on anyone but it's comforting nonetheless knowing that i'm not the only one

Foggy

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Post by Foggy » Sun May 23, 2021 5:28 pm
Sun May 23, 2021 5:12 pmAceshigh1993 wrote:
Thanks - If anything the pay rise was bittersweet, serving only as a reminder of the improvements I could have made if I wasn't so stupid.
That time will come.
My opinions are merely that .. opinions based on experience. Always seek professional advice.
IVA Completed 23rd July 2013 .... C.C. 10th January 2014
http://foggy.blogs.iva.co.uk

luluj

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Post by luluj » Mon May 24, 2021 3:41 am
Your not alone - we are here to help you through, give you the shoulder you need, and the kick when it's needed ...
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt

There is a solution for everyone .... Just need to stay positive !

Look at my blog "All I wanted was a baby"
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