Just a bit of a rant really. Even if I don't get a reply it helps to 'put pen to paper' so to speak and write it all down.
Of late, I find myself increasingly anxious, depressed and ashamed of my situation.
The start of my financial burdens started a few years ago. I moved in with my girlfriend, her mum and her sister when i was 18 years old. My partners mother was somewhat absent, and more interested in finding herself a man than she was looking in looking after her 13 year old daughter...
Eventually, she left to move in with a man she'd only just met, leaving me, my partner and my partners sister to fend for ourselves.
My partner was studying in college at the time, and her sister had significant mental issues, and more importantly she had financial needs like any 13 year old does.
All of a sudden, I found myself in a situation where it had suddenly become not a responsibility, but a moral obligation to look after my partner and her sister. Thereafter from this point lies the root of my financial woes.
I relied on credit for almost everything, hopping from credit card to credit card when I maxed out the previous one. Then came loans, store cards and various other forms of credit. I was too young and stupid to understand the implications of my actions, and too naïve to care.
I'm still with my partner, and we now have 3 children of our own. My partners sister has grown up and moved out, but the struggles never ended for me.
I'm 27 now, and as I approach my 30's I find myself becoming increasingly aware of the value of money, and i'm deeply ashamed and hopelessly depressed about the situation that now causes my children to suffer at a time where I should be building a future for all of us.
I came from a family that had nothing. Financial responsibility was never taught to me, my own father went through bankruptcy. Financial responsibility was forced upon me, and I evidently didn't handle the responsibility very well at all.