No offence to any HR people.

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Andy1964

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Post by Andy1964 » Sun Jul 04, 2010 7:59 pm
Surely no-one has ever had to work under these conditions? [:D]

Dress Code.

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay rise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay rise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay rise.

Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor's note as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Bereavement Leave

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.



The Management
If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

Funds paid to date accepted as F&F 16th August 2013, the wait for completion begins.
Wait over....certificate recieved 3rd May 2014
 
 

Julie

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Post by Julie » Sun Jul 04, 2010 8:06 pm
[:0] Andy!! No offence taken - from a HR "person" [:D]
 
 

Andy1964

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Post by Andy1964 » Sun Jul 04, 2010 8:20 pm
[:)] But do you think any are acceptable??????[:D]
If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

Funds paid to date accepted as F&F 16th August 2013, the wait for completion begins.
Wait over....certificate recieved 3rd May 2014
 
 

kallis3

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Post by kallis3 » Sun Jul 04, 2010 8:40 pm
[:D][:D]

Love them Andy!
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley.
http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
 
 

Shining

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Post by Shining » Sun Jul 04, 2010 9:19 pm
Oh I love them too !
IVA final payment left the bank on the 26th January 2013...looking forward to a debt free future.
 
 

MrsKnight

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Post by MrsKnight » Mon Jul 05, 2010 9:42 am
[:D] Just might have to copy n paste this n send it in with the hubby for the staff notice board [:D]
Final IVA payment made in April 2013, never ever thought we could do it or get through it but we did! X



An IVA.co.uk Mentor is someone sharing from their experiences of dealing with debt

Lyns x
 
 

Jan01

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Post by Jan01 » Mon Jul 05, 2010 8:09 pm
Where did you get my companies HR Policy from?[:D][:D]

This sounds like something my company would introduce if they thought they could get away with it.

I like the sickness one as that is one they try to carry through.

Jan
Nothing you can buy feels as good as not being in debt.
 
 

kallis3

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Post by kallis3 » Mon Jul 05, 2010 8:13 pm
I used to have a female boss who tried to get all the women power dressing and didn't like us to wear perfume or makeup as it gave out the wrong message to the men!

She even had an office meeting to show us all how to dress!

Needless to say we took no notice of her![:D]
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley.
http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
 
 

Andy1964

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Post by Andy1964 » Mon Jul 05, 2010 9:54 pm
[:D] Jan01.


Could have been worse Jan, she might have tried to show you all how to undress and that may have been an 'arresting' sight [:D][:D]
If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

Funds paid to date accepted as F&F 16th August 2013, the wait for completion begins.
Wait over....certificate recieved 3rd May 2014
 
 

kallis3

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Post by kallis3 » Mon Jul 05, 2010 9:59 pm
That wouldn't have been good![:D]
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley.
http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
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