Seconds away, Round 1.....

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Andy1964

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Post by Andy1964 » Tue Aug 03, 2010 7:37 pm
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....
________________________________

My wife and I were watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...
________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....
________________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...
________________________________



My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...
________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is
terrible." My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...
________________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her bathroom scales.

And then the fight started......
________________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realised I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office...
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...
________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started...

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always
something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.


But I'm stiill alive to tell the tale [:D][:D]
If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

Funds paid to date accepted as F&F 16th August 2013, the wait for completion begins.
Wait over....certificate recieved 3rd May 2014
 
 

Shining

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Post by Shining » Tue Aug 03, 2010 7:40 pm
Brilliant!
IVA final payment left the bank on the 26th January 2013...looking forward to a debt free future.
 
 

kallis3

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Post by kallis3 » Tue Aug 03, 2010 7:42 pm
[:D][:D][:D]

Love it!
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley.
http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
 
 

Skippy

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Post by Skippy » Tue Aug 03, 2010 7:43 pm
[:D][:D][:D]
 
 

flow13

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Post by flow13 » Wed Aug 04, 2010 9:10 am
[:D][:D]
Its now time to start living and to make some some wonderful memories!
Read my blog at http://flow13.blogs.iva.co.uk/ 'Aiming for the finish line'
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