Telesales Revisited

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Posts: 1595
by Wizzzard » Sat Jan 16, 2010 7:29 am
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for Bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they try to get back to the sell, just continue your problems.

3. If they say they're Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, Ask them to spell their name, then ask them to spell the company name, then ask them where it's located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services.... You: "Hang on a second." (Few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"

5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? Oh, my God! Judy, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where on earth she could know you from.

6. Say, "No", repeatedly. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.

7. If BT calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...will you be my friend?"

8. If it's a rug cleaning firm: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood.

9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you.

10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from JML." You: "JML!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh, Newcastle, ." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh, my God!!!" and then hang up.

12. Say to the Telemarketer, "Sorry, I can't talk right now but if you'd just give me your home phone number I'll call you when I'm not as busy. When they say in a flustered way that they can't give out their home number say, "Oh, I don't want strangers calling you at your home! Strange, that."

As an aside .... I got a call from a company called TrueCall last week ... they were selling a device to block telesales and cold callers!!!

Have a great day xxx


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Posts: 72258
by kallis3 » Sat Jan 16, 2010 7:55 am

Fancy cold calling you to try and sell you one of those!


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Posts: 27023
by Shining » Sat Jan 16, 2010 8:42 am
I'm liking number 12!



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Posts: 20717
by Skippy » Sat Jan 16, 2010 2:19 pm

I like 2!
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