Living with ex partner bcoz of joint mortgage, denied IVA as his income is more

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sarah390
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by sarah390 » Wed Jul 12, 2017 7:21 am
I have been dumped by my now ex partner who I have to live with because we have a joint mortgage - he is controlling and coercive and he deals with all the money - I tried to get debt relief by IVA and because he would transfer the money out of my account they took his details into account and said we earnt too much - yet it's my debt - how the heck can I not get an IVA ? I'm devestated - I have now got a CCJ and I'm quite honestly considering Suicide - I've two kids and my ex partner well I'm too scared to tell him - the house needs loads of work doing on it so won't sell - I'm a wreck - I work full time and still have to give him my money - I just don't know what to do. They put me through to this company and the woman I'm dealing with asked me to pull myself together when I couldn't stop crying. Just... can't
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kallis3
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by kallis3 » Wed Jul 12, 2017 10:07 am
Hi,

Sorry to hear of your problems - is there any chance you can find somewhere to rent and also change your bank account to one he cannot access?
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Foggy
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by Foggy » Wed Jul 12, 2017 3:09 pm
You need to chat with a more sympathetic provider who can advise on the whole set of circumstances. I would suggest a word with a firm like Vincent Bond who will look at the whole picture and advise on the best way forward for you.

I would not normally mention a specific firm to speak to, but feel you need one I know will treat you as an individual. I would also recommend McCambridge Duffy.
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sarah390
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by sarah390 » Wed Jul 12, 2017 4:14 pm
Thank you for your replies. It's not so easy to leave the house - I have no family or friends who live around me. I tried Richmond Oaks first who were great but couldn't help. I've got a new account that is basic and I'll transfer stuff to that so I don't use the overdraft. I'm hoping they can secure an IVA on my own - I didn't realise how hard it was to obtain one. I've been in a state all day. It's not fair on my kids. You've provided some great advice and I'll look up the companies if this new one can't help.

Thanks again
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luluj
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by luluj » Wed Jul 12, 2017 11:24 pm
Feel free to post updates or ask.any questions. There is a solution for everyone and as foggy suggests speaking to a couple of different firms as named may provide the solution for you.
You mention you are feeling low and have had suicidal thoughts - I would urge you to seek some professional support / counselling to help you overcome your feelings and anxieties - its a difficult situation you are in but your kiddies need you and you need them - don't let your ex get to you he isn't worth it xx
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Michael Peoples
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by Michael Peoples » Thu Jul 13, 2017 8:23 am
Your partner has no obligation to provide any details whether he is an ex or not. Definitely get a second opinion and hopefully the right option can be found for you.
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Lisa Thomas
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by Lisa Thomas » Fri Jul 21, 2017 3:35 pm
How long are you prepared to live with him because you have a joint mortgage?

Perhaps it might be better to resolve the issue of the joint property first, one way or another.
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