worrying about the phone calls and letters

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TheMatrix

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Post by TheMatrix » Sun Oct 10, 2010 7:27 am
I was in the same boat back then and did not want my family knowing about my IVA. Every letter and call I had a fear of them finding out.

I've managed to keep it secret, but it's been hard work sometimes. It would break their hearts if they knew and I just simply could not tell them.

The worst of it is that even after the IVA was agreed there are some people who traul the insolvency register and write to you unsolicited spelling out all the details on the register in the letter, and if they ever wrote out to a Mr SURNAME then it's possible it could be opened by another family member. This is my biggest fear.

Fortunatly I've not heard anything from these people in a while, and hope never to again as my IVA approaches its conclusion any advice they can give like going BR at this stage of my IVA is just madness!

I really hope it goes well for you in the end. Best of luck from me.
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kallis3

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Post by kallis3 » Sun Oct 10, 2010 1:07 pm
My parents know nothing and that is the way I want it to stay. They would be mortified.

You do feel better though after having made that call and started the ball rolling towards the right solution for you.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
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angelrainbow

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Post by angelrainbow » Sun Oct 10, 2010 2:02 pm
I didn't tell my family initially...they figured things out on their own in the end and I can honestly say the love and support I have had from them has been amazing and I don't think I could have done it without them. My husband finally told his family too after 2 years and also feels a weight has lifted.

It is my experience that those who love us may not react in the way we expect and fear.
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kallis3

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Post by kallis3 » Sun Oct 10, 2010 2:08 pm
Mine would! They would never forgive me as I was not bought up to use credit all the time.

As they are both very old now, I wouldn't want to upset them.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley.
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steviebluenose

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Post by steviebluenose » Sun Oct 10, 2010 3:04 pm
Hi Max.is

Well done for posting on this forum.

I remember the sleepless nights before we had our IVA agreed. I remember all the threatening phone calls and all the excuses I tried to make before it all became too much and I couldnt afford the repayments on my cards .... . But most of all I remember the phone call from our IP after the meeting when our IVA had been agreed ... then pretty soon after I stopped getting the calls. Now we occasionally get the letters saying we might have been mis-sold an IVA but I know we werent and it was the best decision I ever took ....... this forum is just an amazing place for reassurance too so just keep your head up and do what you think you should Max.is
People will be here for you if you need advice, reassurance or just want to clarify something

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Skippy

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Post by Skippy » Sun Oct 10, 2010 3:05 pm
I think you know how people you are close to will react. I was worried about telling my mum, but I knew that she would be ok.
 
 

steviebluenose

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Post by steviebluenose » Sun Oct 10, 2010 3:08 pm
I know we are not all the same but when I got the guts to tell me Mum she opened up and told me all about the problem they went through when I was a kid. I had no idea at the time, but its nice to have another person who understands my problem, especially someone so close.
 
 

kallis3

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Post by kallis3 » Sun Oct 10, 2010 3:17 pm
I knew mine wouldn't which is why I can never tell them.

I have found the forum to be non judgemental, here for me if I need support or want to have a rant and I have made some excellent new friends.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley.
http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
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