www.iva.co.uk

Can I ask advice please my husband and I have been in an IVA since August but I think we may split up after christmas due to a number of reasons. If we do I know he wouldnt pay his IVA and I wouldnt be able to afford mine as well as the secure loan without his wages. Where would this leave me would I have to go bankrupt? I dont want to loose my house as I bought it off my parents and have lived here since I was 1 and have lovely memories which are even more important to me since my dad died last year. Sorry to waffle but would appreciate any advice Locko

I'm sorry to hear your news Locko. I do hope it doesn't come to that.

Is your IVA a joint one, or are they both seperate? If they are seperate, and your husband stops paying, I am sure that just his would fail and yours would carry on. He would then be back at square one.

One of the technical experts can confirm (or otherwise) what I have said, and advise you about the secured loan.

Thanks Kallis, we always have our ups and downs and his answer to everything is drinking to much and then storming off out and you see him the next day. I just dont want to loose my house and also have a daughter who is 10 so not easy! But thanks for your reply Locko

Not a good thing Locko, I hope you manage to get yourselves sorted out.

I don't know whether my answer was right or not, I hope it was right!

Hey Locko, I'm so sorry you're going through this, Jan is right, you really need to talk to your IP and ask their advice on splitting them. Hope you get it sorted, I'm sure Melanie will be along to advise you. X

Oh dear Locko

I am so sorry, you must be feeling so fragile right now after getting an acceptance in August. Does your hubby want some help for his problems? I guess this hasnt been easy on you, him and the marriage. Perhaps you could try one last ditch attempt to sort it out with relate or such like. I can understand how you feel about the house, if there is no equity you may be able to keep it in BR.

I hope you can find some peace soon, all of you, its so sad when it comes to this. Although I raised my children on my own after a divorce, its hard but we were happier. The sun will shine again for you I am sure of that.

Good luck hun.

lots of love

Hi there - so sorry to hear your news, but sometimes it is just better to move on with your life without the worry of a partner who is not committed to you.

There will be lots of things to consider with regard to a separation - the IVAs being just one thing. So I would take things in stages and the first priority is to secure a home for you and your daughter and ensure that your husband pays the correct level of child maintenance. Once this is sorted, you can tackle the IVA with the support of your IP.

Do you presently have much equity in the property, and is it registered in your name solely or joint names?

Hi

I cant really give you advice, but i am sorry about what your going through, i have been their, and the only advice i can give you, is what every one said to me and i didnt think it was true, but it really is, and the advice is -

You come thorugh as a stronger person and life really does move on

I'm really sorry you are going through this.
I can completely understand how you feel about the house after being there for so long.
Not much consolation i know but you could take all your lovely memories with you if you were to have to move out.

The situation wont be building too many good memories for your daughter.

You have each other and have plenty of time to build new happy memories together, wherever you live.

Really hope you can sort something out very soon xxxxxx

Thanks everyone for all your comments and sorry Ive not replied before, I have decided to do nothing until the New Year as last christmas wasnt that good as my dad had only been dead 6 weeks and I want to make sure my daughter has a good christmas this year.

Melanie: thanks for your reply, due to a joint secure loan we have there is no equity at present and the house is in both our names. I bought it originally but then when re remortgaged a couple of years changed it to joint names!

Hi again Locko

It sure has been one very tough year for you hasnt it hun. I agree, probably best to wait until after Christmas and think more about it then. I hope youre OK.

Take care now.

Lots of love.

I think your doing the right thing, enjoy christmas with your daughter, i have always said theirs more important things in life than money.

Enjoy christmas forget everything else, and love it, then in the new year when your ready we will all offer support and help you.

Merry christams

Very sensible! Get Christmas out of the way, enjoy spending some quality time with your daughter, and use the forum as a support mechanism into the future - we will be here for you.

Thanks again everyone for your comments, once again this forum is so valuable to everyone Cathy xx

I hope things go well for you Cathy, and that you can enjoy Christmas with your daughter x