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Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:57 am
by Deaney
Hi everyone, i am going to have a moan!!! I was so upbeat yesterday and am waiting for Tina to call me from Melanie's office to see if IVA is suitable. This morning, i have had a debt collection company call me to pay some money as a certain rubbish bank have sold our debt onto them. Anyway, i didn't argue about paying any money which i have done, but the lady i spoke to was just horrible and i had all on not being really quite rude. At the end of the day, myself and my husband have held our hands up and come to terms with the fact that we have made some silly decisions and it is our fault we are in debt. We have already lost our home and are living in private rented accomodation, but this lady has just really made me feel rubbish and i am on the verge of tears. I just am praying that when i have gone through everything with Tina that we are suitable for an IVA!!!. Sorry to moan everyone, but it has just made me feel horrible.

xx

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 11:04 am
by kallis3
Deaney, don't worry, we have all been there. These are just call centres working on comission and are bullies.

Either don't answer the calls or refuse to confirm your details. They can't speak to you then. Or just leave the phone off the hook once you have answered.

Don't let them bully you.

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 11:08 am
by freelili
Hi Deaney hun.

I understand fully how youre feeling, it only takes one nasty call to shake you off your rung of the ladder, you are trying so hard to climb out of the black hole and it seems all they do is punish you for it.

However, now is the time to stop blaming yourself, like you say you held your hands up, admitted you mistakes and are trying to find a way up. That takes a lot of effort, guts and determination when youre psychologically really low.

Dont take these calls personally, do not let them make you feel this way. It was a buisness contract (loan, credit card, etc) where the company concerned was going to make money out of you. It went wrong, they took a chance on you and lost. Stand firm and detached, your doing your very best, thats all you can do. Beating yourself up about it isnt going to make you feel any better.

If you are unable to do an IVA there will be another way. Every problem has an answer, not always the one we want, but in two or three years time you will in a better place.

Good luck now and take care.

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 11:45 am
by stressed1
Deany,I understand it does get you down. The first couple I had I felt so ashamed telling them I couoldnt make payment.
However I got to the point where I was spending ages explaining what was happening and they would still call back the next morning asking for payment!!!

Kallis is right- to them you are just a number on their list of calls. And who is to say those people dont have there own debt !!
You are doing something about the situation...
The calls I get come from a specific number so I know not to answer them.
All you can do is calmly explain the situation, say yo uare unable to make payment and your ip will be in touch soon

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:15 pm
by MelanieGiles
I am sure that you will better after your call, where hopefully a way forward will be worked out for you. Don't worry about debt collectors - and if you are going to pay one creditors try and make sure you pay the others a little as well so that no-one gets preferred. And do bear in mind that when a debt collector sees that you will pay under pressure, they will probably keep applying the pressure.

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:57 pm
by Breakdown
Deaney, just don't answer the calls if they upset you, I don't.

If I do get fed up after the 20th call of the day, I just answer the phone and place it next to the radio or tv, they soon hang up, and they seem to call back less.

These people work on incentives based on a conversion, if you answer their call, they get less commission as their conversion drops. I know, I work in a call centre!

Sharon x

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 1:16 pm
by fifilebonbon
Hi again Deaney - know exactly where you are coming from and until this IVA thing is sorted out it will probably continue to be like this. We get horrible letters virtually every day but when we phone up the creditors they just say to ignore them and that they are computer generated and that they have record of the fact that we are applying for an IVA. As for the incessant phone calls if you have caller ID then just ignore them - I have. My husband has answered a few of them and has just been really firm with them. They do seem to have subsided for the moment. But hang in there hon - I really know how tough this time is for us - I stopped making payments in November - but you will feel so much better when you have spoken to Tina who is just lovely and you really are doing the right thing. So many people have told me how sensible we are now and how much they admire us for facing the problem head on. The only shame would be to bury your head in the sand - and we are all here supporting one another. And remember this is NOT the worst thing that can happen to you - that's what I tell myself every time I start to feel sorry for myself. You gotta take care of that little growing bundle!!! Fi xx

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 1:41 pm
by Deaney
Hi everyone, i did just post an update but don't know where it went.

Thank you to everyone who has sent supportive replies to my last post, you are all fab and i really appreciate it. I have spoken to Tine and she really is one of the nicest ladies i have ever spoken to and i really do mean that. She has put me at ease and things do look hopeful for us to proceed with an IVA. I am feeling a little anxious now cause we are waiting to see if Melanie will take on the case, but even if we cannot proceed with the IVA, I feel confident that we will be able to sort something else out and i just can't believe i have only just found this forum. It is a god send and i feel i have a whole new circle of people to confide in.

The support is brill and i hope i can in the future go on to give some advice to other people.

Thanks everyone!!

xx

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 1:45 pm
by kallis3
You sound much more upbeat now Deaney. Hopefully Mels team will be able to sort you out, certainly sounds like it.

I'm sure you will be able to give great advice and support to other posters.

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 2:19 pm
by fifilebonbon
That's cool Deaney - you sound like me just a few weeks ago. You'll be up and down all the way through the process but this is such a great place to come and off load and find great support. So glad you spoke to Tina - she's lovely as are all the team. Good luck that Mel is able to take on the case - whatever the outcome you will get a solution! Good for you hon! Hang in there! [:)] Fi xx

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 2:37 pm
by Viki.W
Hey Deaney, that's great news. You're in safe hands with Mel's team. Sorry you've been getting hassle, just ignore them if it gets too much and get yourself on here for everyone to cheer you up. [:)] X