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Hello - not so hysterical today and am acting like a human being rather than a drama queen. Hubby still a bit moody, but he's much better and I spoke to his brother who told me to hang in there as we would get through it - which I believe we will.

I had to laugh - Hubby got up and said hello to the cat and not me!!!!!!! So I gave him a hug and a kiss and said "Morning Love"

Onwards and upwards today - loads of paperwork to sort out

Thanks everyone for keeping me sane yesterday

x

Hi,

So glad things are looking up this morning. You sound so much more positive.

Hubby will be ok - it's just been a bit of a shock to him.

I hope he gave you a hug and a kiss back!

He did - although a bit like a shop mannequin - just told him that we won't be destitute and that when he is ready he needs to sit down with me and we'll tackle it together - or he can walk away, but that life goes on and we have to deal with it.

He said yes ok, just give me a bit of time - you've had months to get used to this - I'm just sorting my head out. Oh and I don't want to walk away

Can't argue with that - its progress!

Good to hear soashamed70!

That's good news.

However, I would argue about having months to get used to it - if you are anything like me, you wouldn't have thought about the end consequences and what was going to happen, you would just be thinking day to day and dreading the moment you had to tell him about it!

Although it caused problems initially, it was like a weight off my shoulders having had to shoulder the burden for months on my own.

Today is the first day I have felt better about it since telling him on Thursday night - he is still very wooden towards me - not sure how long it will take him to come around as he can be a bit of a brooder and is the silent type.

I'll have another word with his brother and ask him to talk to him about it - he doesn't really want to talk to me at the moment

However, I feel bad enough about all this and am trying to be positive - I fell positive today - its very cathartic dragging all that vile paperwork out and actually doing something to remedy the situation. I don't need anymore guilt heaped on me than I feel already, so I won't take any notice of him. I'm happy to give him time as I do feel her deserves that, so no doubt over the next week we will make some progress - we have already - he hasn't gone to the pub today or last night!

I am sure he will be fine and ready to tackle it head on with you in no time. Hang in there xx

That's a good start!

You should be much stronger once it's sorted, I know we are. What a fab brother he must have as well.

I remember how I felt when my partner told me what a financial mess we were in. We only used to argue about money. Now we have our IVA we are much more frugal and living on a budget keeps us on our toes! It's great that you have sought help and are doing something positive about the problem. Your hubby will come round in his own time, I did! Good luck x

That sounds more positive soashamed. Hopefully it's the start of him coming round and you will be able to sit down and discuss the situation soon.

Don't worry about him talking to the cat and not you - in the last 18 months since we got our cat I've learned my place and it's definitely second!

Brilliant news - and of course you can't expect him to come round all of a sudden can you. He is a man after all!! (Sorry to all the male posters!!)

Ha ha - yes you're right (sorry guys!)

Thanks Melanie - you want to see the pile of paperwork I have around me - its terrible!

Thanks for your help everyone so far

Well just think that the sooner you get it off your desk the sooner it will land on mine!!

Melanie I cant believe your last post (about men)...you woman are "masters" of the art of making us suffer when your in the right....in fact even when your in the wrong we are still wrong....we can't win lol.

soashamed in all seriousness, from what you have written your husband clearly loves you and together you will get through this and anything else thats thrown at you.

well, that was my way of thinking - hope it doesn't freak you out like it has me!