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Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 9:46 pm
by cazlizzy
Well it’s been a long while since I posted here, and I guess you could say I am like the prodigal son, running home when things go wrong….but ‘wrong’ would be an understatement.
I was just trying to sort out paperwork to put forward a very poor F&F and feeling very frustrated by it all with my emotions all over the place and then something brought me ‘home’ and I started searching for hope again here.

I was made redundant at the end of last month, quite unexpectedly and with very little in the way of a settlement, approx the equivalent of 6 mths wages.(despite having been there 15yrs) Having contacted my IP to see where I go from here, and very down at the prospects, given my age and health in the current job market, I was awaiting a response and feeling that it just couldn’t get any worse…when it did.
My son-in-law died suddenly at the age of 34 just 2 weeks ago and our world has been ripped apart. My daughter has been left with the three girls and another due in 4weeks, and is obviously distraught. I have been staying with her and doing the only thing a mother can do, holding her while she sobs and feeling totally useless as I can’t heal this hurt with a ‘kiss better and a hug’
This pain has made everything seem so insignificant, and all I want to do is protect what I can and get us all through this, physically, emotionally and financially.

Anyone who remembers me will know that I believed in the IVA and was so happy to get it all sorted, it has been going well and without these tragic turns of fate, would have continued. But now, it seems so unimportant, and I just want it gone. It is only while writing this that I realised that when my IP called about my options, I was a mess, and broke down crying, I briefly explained why and she didn’t comment, just said what they needed to have sent (ie; bills and bank statements, proof of looking for work etc.) and that she would write to confirm it. It surprises me as they are usually so thoughtful, but it made me realise that at the end of the day it’s a business agreement.

This afternoon I sat with my daughter in my arms, as she cried while trying to comfort my 3yr old granddaughter in her arms, who was sobbing for her Baba to come home. The little one sobbed for nearly an hour, my daughter and I cried a lot longer. Now I am looking for the stuff the IP needs and it all seems so irrelevant. But I need to protect as much as I can and still have this all done with.
Thank you for letting me vent….and please, please hold the ones you love close and tell them often…the blink of an eye can change so much.

Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 9:50 pm
by blods
My god you poor thing,my thoughts are with you.
Kind of puts things into perspective.
blods

Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 9:55 pm
by Shining
Hi cazlizzy, I am so so sorry to read about your son in law and the pain your family are experiencing. Would cleardebt be prepared to accept what you've paid into your IVA as a final settlement due to the change in your circumstances?

xxx

Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 9:57 pm
by Shining
I'm sorry cazlizzy, I meant would Cleardebt put forward what you've paid to date as a final settlement.

I've had a scare with my son this weekend your post was comforting to me in the phrase, hold your loved ones close and tell them often xxx

Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 10:02 pm
by kallis3
I'm so sorry to hear about your son in law, what an awful time for you all.

I hope Cleardebt can help you out. You need to concentrate on your family and not your debts.

Thinking of you.

Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 10:08 pm
by Skippy
I'm so sorry to hear about your son in law. I hope Cleardebt can help you as you really don't need the worry of your IVA at this awful time.

Take care, and you know where we are xxx

Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 10:48 pm
by Dominic
i am very sorry to hear your news

Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 10:58 pm
by love hope and strength
cazlizzy I too am very sorry to hear your sad sad news x

Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 11:18 pm
by MelanieGiles
I am so very sorry to hear such dreadful news, and my heart goes out to you and your daughter at this incredibly sad time. When I hear about things like this, it is very difficult to understand reasons why such dreadful things can happen to good people.

I note that you have your IVA with ClearDebt. Can I suggest that you have any difficulties to arrange a chat with Mike Morgan, who posts on the forum as Size 5. Mike won't mind me saying that this time last year he was experiencing something very similar to your own pain, and sometimes it helps to talk to someone who has been through that. I know Mike personally, and he will want to sort out the financial side of your current difficulties, and can maybe offer you some all important advice about dealing with the next few painful weeks.

Everyone will tell you that things will get easier - but for the life of me I am sure that you will not understand that reasoning right now. God bless to all of you, and be strong for those three very important little people, and the soon to arrive new bundle of joy who needs her Mummy and Grandma so very much.

Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 7:53 am
by kallis3
What a lovely post Mel, and I do agree that Mike will be sympathetic to this. He's a nice man so have no worries about approaching him.

Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 8:00 am
by orchid5
Dear Carole, my heart goes out to you and i'm so sorry for your families loss, please when you can deal with it take Melanies advice and speak to size5 whom i'm sure will be able to help you in more than ways than one. I too am going through a hard time but nothing like the experience you are currently going through, whilst you are supporting your daughter who is supporting you? Please take care, hopefully Cleardebt when they realise the situation will help you all they can.

Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 9:35 am
by Declan at DebtFreeDirect
Carole
My deepest condolences on such a terrible tragic event. As Mel and the guys have said, speak to Mike Morgan at ClearDebt. Mike is an incredibly kind and caring guy and will no doubt do everything to help you during this time.
Always remember that we are here for you as well. Whilst not been able to comfort you in the traditional sense, we will certainly offer as much help and support as we can.

Kind Regards,

Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 9:49 am
by mole
Hi Cazlizzy, think about you at this time. I remember you were slightly ahead of me during our intial applications. Cleardebt have been good to me and sure they can sort this out for you.

Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 12:58 pm
by Rachelmarymarie
Hi All. I have 2700 left on my IVA and 18 months. Im currently paying 150.00 a month and due to personal problems I am left paying all the bills and i am left with 25.00 a month now towards my iva not the 150.00 I need to pay. Ive missed a payment on my IVA and think this will fail. If I come out of my IVA will I beable to qualify for a DRO. I dont own a property, I dont have any assetts, not even a car. I have nothing really! I don't want to go bankrupt as im scared as to what will happen with my landlord. Please help!!

Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 1:06 pm
by kallis3
Hi Rahchel and welcome the forum.

I don't think that you can do a DRO if you have done an IVA within a certain amount of time.

I wouldn't worry about bankruptcy as I don't think anything will happen with your landlord.