www.iva.co.uk

Some venting but thanks for any advice.
Fed up with renting having before owned. Fed up with never having enough money. Fed up with being in an IVA and not having enough for our children to go on school trips or the nice clothes which their friends have. Fed up with not being able to afford a holiday this year. I know you should not compare, but something is seriously wrong when you are working full time and cannot afford things for your children despite being in an IVA. Things cost so much and our friends always seem to afford days out, nice holidays etc and the best for their children which we just cannot afford since being in an IVA. I know you have to live within your means but this is just not enough. Particularly with our teenage daughter, it's now starting to show in that she cannot do the things her friends are doing and this whole situation is affecting her. Before and during the IVA I guess the problem is not being paid enough for the cost of living. We get average earnings but it is just not enough to bring up 3 children nowadays and I am talking a very non lavish lifestyle, I've not bought myself any new clothes for 6 months. Yes, wrong decisions about borrowing before the IVA is to blame although this was just to keep our heads above water but surely this ongoing stress cannot continue? I may as well live in North Korea in comparison to the happiness life is currently giving us. Sorry for the sob story but I guess it's due. Cheers

But at the end of the journey you will be debt free and be able to move forwards once again.

Hi LeFran --- the obvious difference to living in North Korea is that the IVA does give an end in sight. Just think, there is every chnace that the friends and neighbours you speak of are affording this lifestyle on credit and, one day, might be where you are now -- the difference then will be they will be struggling and you will be debt free.

We all go through these periods of doubt and despair -- but it WILL be worth it in the end.

I agree and thank you. By the time the IVA is finished, the children will be older but would have missed out on so much and suffered because of the lack of money, they will then be grown up and that time is lost forever whether we are debt free or not.

Your children won't have missed out or suffered - they will have learned a valuable lesson for life that credit is not the answer.
I could cry too when I realise I can't give my sons the things they want but I can give them the things they need - love, a secure home and support.
I'm a single parent with a mortgage - it's hard and I've only just started on this road but know it's the right thing to do.
Hang on in there - it will be worth it in the end

Aw LeFran, I completely know where you are coming from, I was saying exactly the same things to my husband yesterday.
For some reason, I find summer the hardest and most depressing time of year in an IVA. Probably because the house appears especially shabby in sunny weather, due to being unable to spend any money on maintenance and repairs. I also feel huge guilt that we have not been on holiday for 3 years and can't help feel a little resentful of people who are going away. I know that's wrong because this whole mess is our fault, but I agree that being debt free will be amazing but can't help feeling cheated that the kids will have missed out on so much in these precious years.
Sorry to be all doom and gloom, but knowing that we are not alone in this makes things easier to bear. I have found the support of this forum to be a life saver and would have been lost without it.

Look at it this way, Your debts are going down and if you stick to the plan you will be in the clear.
I should know as i have been in the exact same position as yourself.
You should be very proud of yourself and just going that little bit without for a few years will be worth it come the end.
Read my post on the forum LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL !!! and that will explain how i did my IVA and exactly what you are going through.
An IVA is hard going especially when you feel like your life is stuck on HOLD!!! and is not the easy option some people think but give it time and your family when completed will be going on lots of holidays and that time will definitely come.
People that go on these wild holidays is all paid on the plastic and most probably will end up maxed out sooner or later and will hit a brick wall one day as well.
Just stick it out it will be well worth it in the end and DEBT FREEDOM!!!!

Was feeling particularly down today about iva others having holidays. Some lovely posts there on here. Hanging on to see the light I hope

Is it really the IVA which is causing all of this angst, LeFran, or the fact that you have debts which you cannot afford to service - hence the reason why you chose this solution to address them.

I often find with my own clients, that partway through an IVA, they get feelings of despair as it seems that they have been in the arrangement for so long that they can't remember being able to pay for (not afford!) those little luxuries that we all convince ourselves that we need, and the end of the IVA when they can do this again without the burden of the debts seems so long away. All I can say is stick with it - and each month now makes that final journey shorter. Your kids will not suffer because they cannot have the things their friends have, and you will all come out of this stronger as a result.

If you are genuinely finding the payments too much of a struggle, why not ask for a mid-term review as your IP may be able to reduce them to a more affordable level.

We haven't been on a "holiday" for several years, haven't been abroad for 11 years, because we simply can't afford it. But, in the end, a holiday to us is actually time off work and having time to spend together as a family. It doesn't have to be an expensive week away in the sun, where my kids would get bored anyway, and if you get into the mindset of trying to find things to do on a budget, you will actually do OK. I recently joined the National Trust and have already been on a couple of days out and intend to visit a few more properties on my week off at the end of July. I appreciate that you have to pay for fuel to/from the properties but it is far cheaper to do that than spend an absolute fortune on a week abroad that you forget about almost straightaway. As Melanie said, your kids will not suffer just because they haven't got everything that other kids have got and the investment of time and communication with them is worth so much more than trying to throw loads of money at them. I know it is hard - I have got 3 kids of 21, 11 and 8 and they always seem to want/need something but they just have to learn that they can't always do what they want to do. It will be the same after our IVA's finish although obviously there won't be the same restrictions. Good luck with the rest of your IVA and I'm sure you will get through this difficult time and come out the other side, happier and wiser!

Currently in our 3rd year of IVA, We have 3 children all under 4 so can appreciate that none are at that age where they want the latest toy or new trendy trainers but it does make me sad that we can't take them abroad like my parents managed to do for me and my family.

We have been through the fed emotions and I'm sure we will again in the next few years, It's especially hard knowing that bankruptcy would have been a much easier route to take as we own nothing but do believe we will come out of this for the better.

We too (the wife and I) have been feeling the despair of being in an IVA. We are entering year 5 in September. It seems like we have been in it forever. When you see the TV commercials saying "Enter an IVA and we can wipe out up to blah percent of your debt", it all sounds very good and and easy to do. Little do you realize that it isn't the easy way out. BUT, we know that in 14 months or so, we will have an extra £400 every month and with that, we will save up for our first family holiday in ten years. Our son is coming up to his 13th birthday and is at the age where Vans and Converse are the norm. Luckily my parents buy stuff for him.

Whilst we have been in the IVA we have become more aware of our spending and we have managed to budget (not every month) but most of all, we have not been over drawn at the bank as we have a basic bank account. Even if I wasn't in an IVA, I would recommend a basic account to anyone. Finance needs to be taught in school. Our debt was about £36000. How the hell we allowed it to spiral to this amount is beyond me.

Hang in there. People are here to help and support you in times like this.

I think the companies that advertise an IVA on the basis that they can wipe xx% off your debt and that you will be debt free in 5 years should be brought to task.

For one this advertising attacks the problem from the wrong direction --- they are emphasising paying as little as possible, rather than as much as you can reasonable afford. If that is the way you wish to deal with the problem ( as cheaply as possible) the BR is likely to be the answer.

Then -- no-one can predict a %age saving ( write off) as every one has different circumstances and things change ( sometimes drastically) during the course of 5 years.

And, the biggie -- no mention of equity provisions for homeowners.

Personally I would steer clear of a company which makes mis-leading claims and false promises. However, I appreciate that, in times of desperation, glossy advertising works.

Keep your chin up. I still find being in the IVA very hard and emotional. Take it day as it comes. I find the the ticker helps as I can see it going by day by day. Good luck

Thanks for the replies and sorry for the rant. No doubt and in hindsight I think BR would have been the better choice and should have listened to the father in law on that one. An IVA is good if you want to protect things, like a home but if not, what's the point? Mortgages, loans, credit card company's have been taking the p155 with their inflated rates for so long now. Not only that but bank accounts charging you to hold onto your money with monthly fees, what's all that about? Therefore, with the IVA, why feel as though you should do the creditors a favour, they have been ripping us all off for years anyway and no doubt, the money borrowed has been written off anyway with virtually no impact to them with (I expect)insurance for such events anyway. It's the low wages and massively high prices for everything that got us here in the first place which is why we had to borrow. We have not been extravagant and our debts have just been on keeping our heads above water. Life will no doubt be better in 5 years time (hopefully!). BUT, between now and then, our children will miss out on so much which they should not, for example, holidays, school trips, decent clothes, nice birthdays, decent food and not the value crap, days out etc, and really the basics of our so-called civilised society. Unfortunately, these missed days for the children will be gone and you cannot get them back as in 5 years time, they will be grown up by then. Sorry for the rant but I am failing to see the purpose of an IVA if you have low value items and for example, rent a home. The feeling of the commitment of paying back what we owe above the families well being is getting lower and lower. Time for a think and change as this is just miserable and again companies making profit on others circumstances without the best intentions. IVA's are certainly and without doubt good for most, but for others, it is just extending the hardship although I do recognise it keeps the creditors away and that's a good thing.