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Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 10:36 pm
by ladybare
i have just started my IVA and wondering if i am doing the right thing. I feel that i have been pushed into and feel that the company i was originally with was scaring me abit and feel the iva was the only option, my partner wants to move in with me but i will have to put him off as i am to ashamed to tell him the reason why. Can anyone help
Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 10:39 pm
by kallis3
Hi ladybare and welcome to the forum.
Why do you feel you were pushed into it? What company are you using?
Don't be ashamed to tell your partner about this - you're doing something constructive to repay your debts.
Can I ask how much you owe?
Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 7:49 am
by andrea1968
Ladybare-see it as a credit agreement-yes it has a few creditors bunched in together but try and keep it simple,if you hadnt have taken the iva they(debts) would still be there,wouldnt they.
You dont have to go in to depth with your partner-you dont even have to tell them-it is your business,if you feel embarrassed by the thought of explaining it away then maybe tell them it is a debt consolidation loan.
We are just glad we have a date when this will be over,I for one tell all my friends who have found themselves struggling,be proud you have found a solution to your debt problems and are not plodding along like millions of people are,with no hope and no end in sight[:)]
Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 6:57 pm
by landlegend
Dont be ashamed it happens to people its life .I moved in with my partner and told her the truth straight away as you will need there support at some point .Its not easy but it will end trust me i have just finished mine after 5 years
so chin up
Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 9:56 pm
by plasticdaft
Honesty should be at the forefront of any relationship so talk about your situation and you will find that your relationship will be stronger!!
Paul
Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 8:03 pm
by Dominic
Its best to be up front and honest about it and nothing to be ashamed of you are taking control again
Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 10:35 pm
by essexlady
The most important thing is not how much you owe (and that's none of our business) but that you are honest in your relationship. Better to prove that you are being responsible and have taken action for your future together than to hide the debts you previously had.
font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica">quote:<hr height="1" noshade>Originally posted by kallis3
Hi ladybare and welcome to the forum.
Why do you feel you were pushed into it? What company are you using?
Don't be ashamed to tell your partner about this - you're doing something constructive to repay your debts.
Can I ask how much you owe?
Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 8:47 pm
by libertyfund
Seeking help is never a weakness. I began a new relationship a year before i took my iva out. I had debts in excess of 20k. One day she asked me to move in and pool our money together which we'd spoke of previously. I told her that i had the debt and it was her that pointed me in the direction of the IVA. Without it i would not have been able to move in with her or have the life we have now. If you have told your partner of your debt then thats the hardest part done. THe IVA is a better way to begin of the rest of your lives together.
Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 7:20 pm
by lancslass
Hello ladybare
It takes guts to take responsibility and do something about it. If somebody loves you enough they will accept your commitment to put things right and will admire your determination. It is scary at first but I have found that taking one step at a time and dealing with whats in front of you is a good way of sorting things out.