Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 4:13 pm
Hi
Sorry this is a long one.
Let me firstly say I adore my wife and will stand by her & help her.! But……
She has run up a huge amount of debt yet again. A few years back I bailed her out with a re-mortgage to pay off her debts on the understanding that it would come off her share of the equity. She promised me it would not happen again. Low behold this January she is in the same situation only much worse. She has lost most of it gambling and we sat down & cut up all her credit cards on new years day so at least we have put a stop to it. It would not be so bad but she has not even got anything to show for it. I nice car & brand new kitchen & wardrobe would have been easier to swallow but it pass it over to unscrupulous companies is a bitter pill to swallow. I accept she is responsible for running up these debts but .I am surprised that all the credit card companies let her have SO much credit especially seeing it all going out to betting sites every week sometimes thousands a week. Someone should have flagged her as a problem long before now. They should take some of the moral responsibility. In the end she had done so much juggling robbing Peter to pay Paul and transferring balances I am shocked she was not flagged as a credit risk but she had always made her minimum payments on time to cover her tracks.
Having looked at the solutions we can not see many. I feel I have to protect myself & the kids and the roof over our head. Her share of the equity & endowment is now only approx 40k her debts are 130k I am not sure an IVA would suit her as she may not be able to sustain her income for 5 years to make all the repayments & I will not be able to help her financially as I will be covering the majority of the bills & mortgage. My brother has offered to lend me the money (40k interest free) to buy her out so she can offer her creditors the 40k immediately as a settlement. The only other alternative is she declares herself bankrupt still offering the OR the same 40k as payment to the creditors. With house prices falling and her income not guaranteed if I was them I would bite her hand off. I understand it is a long way off what she owes but a bird in the hand in this situation would be better than nothing.
Would the creditors accept 40k or is she just better off declaring herself bankrupt as I do not see any other option. A debt management plan does not seem viable as she will never pay it off.
I hate to see her so racked with guilt and she trying to be as positive as possible, her parents died quite close together a few years back & she has had several friends die in the last couple of years which has shook her a bit.
The worst is I feel so stupid for not checking up on her but when you trust someone you do not bother. She has always done fantastic with our finances until this. I battle with feelings of disappointment, anger & broken trust with the feeling of wanting to protect her & take away her pain of what is around the corner.
Who said life was easy
Sorry this is a long one.
Let me firstly say I adore my wife and will stand by her & help her.! But……
She has run up a huge amount of debt yet again. A few years back I bailed her out with a re-mortgage to pay off her debts on the understanding that it would come off her share of the equity. She promised me it would not happen again. Low behold this January she is in the same situation only much worse. She has lost most of it gambling and we sat down & cut up all her credit cards on new years day so at least we have put a stop to it. It would not be so bad but she has not even got anything to show for it. I nice car & brand new kitchen & wardrobe would have been easier to swallow but it pass it over to unscrupulous companies is a bitter pill to swallow. I accept she is responsible for running up these debts but .I am surprised that all the credit card companies let her have SO much credit especially seeing it all going out to betting sites every week sometimes thousands a week. Someone should have flagged her as a problem long before now. They should take some of the moral responsibility. In the end she had done so much juggling robbing Peter to pay Paul and transferring balances I am shocked she was not flagged as a credit risk but she had always made her minimum payments on time to cover her tracks.
Having looked at the solutions we can not see many. I feel I have to protect myself & the kids and the roof over our head. Her share of the equity & endowment is now only approx 40k her debts are 130k I am not sure an IVA would suit her as she may not be able to sustain her income for 5 years to make all the repayments & I will not be able to help her financially as I will be covering the majority of the bills & mortgage. My brother has offered to lend me the money (40k interest free) to buy her out so she can offer her creditors the 40k immediately as a settlement. The only other alternative is she declares herself bankrupt still offering the OR the same 40k as payment to the creditors. With house prices falling and her income not guaranteed if I was them I would bite her hand off. I understand it is a long way off what she owes but a bird in the hand in this situation would be better than nothing.
Would the creditors accept 40k or is she just better off declaring herself bankrupt as I do not see any other option. A debt management plan does not seem viable as she will never pay it off.
I hate to see her so racked with guilt and she trying to be as positive as possible, her parents died quite close together a few years back & she has had several friends die in the last couple of years which has shook her a bit.
The worst is I feel so stupid for not checking up on her but when you trust someone you do not bother. She has always done fantastic with our finances until this. I battle with feelings of disappointment, anger & broken trust with the feeling of wanting to protect her & take away her pain of what is around the corner.
Who said life was easy