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A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver's door.

"Is there a problem Officer?"

The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?"

The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."

"You don't have one?"

The man responds, "I lost it four times for drink driving."

The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"


"I'm sorry, I can't do that."

The policeman says, "Why not?"

"I stole this car."

The officer says, "Stole it?"

The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."

At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what!?"

"She's in the boot if you want to see."

The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

The senior officer says "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"

The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem sir?"

"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."

"Murdered the owner?"

The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?"

The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

The officer says, "Is this your car sir?"

The man says "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.

The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence."

The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner."

The man replies, "I bet you the lying b@?/@;@ told you I was speeding, too!"

ha ha good one x

Where do you get them from Gav?

How funny[:D][:D]

I did make the mistake of giving a policeman who pulled me over in London, when I lived there, a bit of cheek and he said they had one breatheliser in the borough I was stopped in (long time ago...LOL) and he was going to make me wait an hour and a half for it even though I was only comming home from food shopping and not had a drink.
I said 'If you've nothing more important to do, no criminals to catch or anything I am happy to wait', I was just outside my flat and phoned my boyfriend to come outside and keep me company. To which he completely got the huff, gave me a producer thingy and drove off..

Brilliant [:D]

LOL [:D]

I came (well tottered) out of the post office once to find 2 policemen looking at my tired and slightly battered Nova and checking the reg plate as I was parked on zigzag lines - oops! I explained that I had just had to drop some very heavy parcels off at the post office and yes I was aware I shouldn't do it and yes I was aware I could get 6 points for it and yes I did live locally (cringing at the time) especially when the policemen said i lived "very" locally as I happened to live about 15 doors away from the Post Office - i got away with though - I think it was down to me looking suitably embarrassed!!! never again!