www.iva.co.uk

My 9 yr old has come home from school and said that he has to dress up on Friday for European day. I have absolutely no idea of what to send him in wearing. I have told him just to wear his own clothes as he is European but he wasn't having it! I wonder why?[:o)]

He must go to the most expensive school in the area. I changed his school 18months ago for various reasons - the main one being that I was liable to get arrested for assault as the head teacher was useless.

This new school is excellent in everyway but it definitly comes at a price. Every week he comes home with letters wanting money £6 here £12 there, £1 for this that and the other etc.

This week alone I think I have send an additional £20 in for various events. These are all school/work related so cannot really refuse.

All this said re the money he is achieving more both educationally and personally. I am pleased about this as he needs a good job to look after me in my middle age!! (only joking). [;)]

He has just gone to cubs and reminded me very kindly that I owe them £27.50.

I can see if our IVA is approved that we will be eating Aldi beans!![:I]

My daughter is lucky enough to have passed a test to go to a select school. I have to agree it's very expensive but I do cut back everywhere I can as it's not her fault I'm in an IVA, she's going to Belgium in July (WW2 graves for History). Every week like you there is something to pay for and she is doing textiles for GCSE and that is going to be so expensive. I just don't want to hold her back at all. A reply to a post by Melanie a couple of weeks back did refer to an allowance for education and I'm sure all us parents could do with this as all these bits of money here and there certainly add up. She's a good girl though and so I don't begrudge her a penny and if I have to eat Aldi beans I will just for her.

Sorry Marie forgot to say good luck with your IVA hope it all gets sorted for you x

i know what you mean about wanting you children to have the best education, i have 2 girls 16 and 17, the eldest is doin her a levels at the moment and hoping to go to uni, my youngest is doing her gcse s and i am just so proud of them - like yer say, giving them the best education is expensive. i am paying for my youngest daughter to have private maths tuition as maths is her weaker subject - but it is not their i am in a iva and if i have to cut back on food shopping etc i will.

i know when my eldest daughter got exceptional grades at gcse, that was worth more than money can ever buy!

barb x

I have just picked him up from cubs. He is staying in an aquarium over the weekend - they have said they can take £10 spending money and then there is another camp in june £35. Then in August £105. He has another trip in Nov £100 plus pounds.

I don't begrudge him I just worry in case I have to say no. He is the only child we have and we have tried for years for more but nothing. Maybe it was fate as we clearly can't afford this one!

Never mind, when things get really bad we have the gift of being able to look at our children and realise some thing truly are more important.

Thanks Lesley and Barb I hope your children are all okay and ddo well.

Lesley - My sister did textiles and loved it. She has absolutely loads of material (all different kinds) I will see when she has her next clear out what she is getting rid of and post it on here in case it will come in handy for your daughter. She also has loads of patterns etc. All kinds of things. Feel free to get in touch if you need anything and I will have a scout at what she has got. She has a 16ft by 12ft room full of all kinds of different stuff. x

Barb, my daughter has private maths lessons too as this is her weak subject, but I am lucky as I help a retired GP with her IT skills (which are non-existant) in return for free maths/scienes tuition for daughter! She came to college to learn IT but she really isn't suited to it! I know what you mean about when they make you proud that feeling being worth more than money can buy. She's got her first GCSE on May 20th, she's only Yr 9 (sitting IT). Next year she's doing her sciences a year early all 3 of them and the rest of her GCSE's the next year. All the best to both of your daughters Barb, it's expensive but worth it.

Marie thank you so much for your offer re resources for textiles, no idea what it actually entails at the moment, all I know is everyone keeps saying 'ooh that's expensive' her normal coursework hasn't been too expensive to date. Marie please don't think I meant you would begrudge your son anything, it wasn't meant like that honest! I'm just useless with words! You enjoy him he'll soon be grown up, I've got 4, two boys and two girls and my eldest boy is 25 on Tuesday! xx

No I don't for one minute think you meant anything bad - sometimes it's difficult to type what you actually mean.

I know he will soon be doing his GCSE's!

We were going to try and save for IVF not IVA - some things are just not meant to be lol!!

I think IP would have something to say if we suddenly applied to have IVF - well out of our league now.........not too worry there are more options but when you mention any of them people assume you are doing it for the monetary gain. I tried to mention it once on here but I think it got misconstrude (is that how you spell it?). re fostering. We looked into adoption but you have to totally commit to not want to extend your family by natural means whatever they mean by that!

Anyway you (we) are all very lucky as it sounds like we all have lovely families. I am just a few years older than your eldest and in debt up to my eye balls how bad is that!

The offer re supplies is open and genuine. If I have it or can get it I will. I am really crafty too so have some stuff knocking aroun. xx

You're a star Marie and in debt but now doing something about it as we all are so nothing that can't be sorted. I truly hope everything works out well for you in all areas as you sound like a lovely lady xx

Hi Marie.. I've only got the one and can't have anymore. I sometimes feel guily as she's on her own, but its all one sided as she is fine..

I am so proud of her also as she was recently put on the Gifted and Talented register at school, and she said they may have the chance to go to poland.. which I will do without for her.. I think she's a star and worth any sacrifice!!(apart from the stroppy hormones[:I])

I'm an only child and I can honestly say that I don't feel I have missed out by not having a brother or sister. I had fantastic parents and it was a privilige to have them all to myself. My dad was diagnosed with MS when I was 4 so my mum became his carer as well as bringing up a small child.

My mum thought she couldn't have children and she was 44 when she had me - I was a bit of a surprise! She was a novelty as 33 years ago it was very unusual to be having a first baby in your 40s. They had wanted more children, but my mum nearly died having me and was told not to have any more, so they decided not to risk it.

That's nice to hear Skippy ! My child is the only one and I feel that at 37 I have resigned myself that we won't be having any more - particularly because if we are going to comit to a 5 or 6 year IVA, I am going to be 43 by then and my son will be 14! We sometimes feel we've have let our son down by getting into debt and depriving him from siblings x

I have 2 daughters by my first marriage and would dearly love to have a child now, but I've had 2 miscarriages and time is running out - I'm 40 this year My youngest is 22 so I must be mad eh?

Thanks for your replys. Makes me feel 'normal'. I'm sick or being prodded and of going to the hospital.

We will have to stop now - at least for 6yrs if the IVA is approved. It's nice to be able to share this. We are having a baby boom at work at the minute and it's awful.

But hey well done to your daughter Angela!

I was going to go into child minding before everything became an issue. I have half registered - no chance of that now lol.

I have totally missed my calling I actually want to teach but having a child not long after school sort of scuppered that one - for a while anyway. I don't suppose it is ever too late.

x

Marie it's never too late I promise you I'm living proof, I worked in a factory nearly all my life, then decided to do a computer course and another and another and another till there were no more offered for Microsoft Office, so I did the teaching award (for adults) and now I teach Microsoft Office to adult learners in a local college. I re-sat my Maths and English just last year (I'm 46 now!). In 6 yrs I've done all this. The advantage of working for a college is they are very much for staff development and all my training is free to me as part of this. In September I intend to train to be a Skills for Life tutor (teaching the Maths and English) as that is where a lot of funding is at the moment as the government want everyone to be at least level 2 trained. Go for it Marie!

marie like lesley says it is never too late!

i think you sound like such a lovely caring person, would you not perhaps fancy doing something like nursing, if you did the diploma in adult, child or mental health you would get your course fees paid by the nhs and a non means tested bursary of £6500 per year.

i have heard people say sometimes when you start a new direction things start to happen in other areas and they have ended up expecting!

as for your little boy being deprived being the only one. i think he is a very lucky little boy to have such fabulous parents as you!

barb x