www.iva.co.uk

Hi, just thought I'd update you on my brother. If you remember he was staying with me after his suicide attempt. Well he never officially moved out but he just stopped sleeping here but came back during the day to get showered and changed. He had his own key and didn't even let me know when he'd been. I'm a layed back kind of person so it didn't bother me too much but my hubby was going mad. He hasn't given us any money and didn't keep his promise to help my hubby in the garden.

Anyway he went down to stay with my mum for a week and took his girlfriend with him. He text me on Monday to tell me they were getting married!!! I didn't text back because I genuinly didn't know what to say.

Mum rang me today to tell me that they have had a huge fall out and are coming home tomorrow. My hubby has said no way to him coming back to stay with us (even though he still has his suitcase in our living room)

So I have a choice my brother or my hubby. I know what I am going to do but not quite sure of the consequences. I will tell him he can come back but I will lay down some ground rules. He has 2 weeks in which to find a place of his own and he must let me know when he is going to be around (I was sick of making his meals and then him not turning up so it being thrown in the bin).

I think I will get hubby to have a heart to heart with him as well about his responsibities as a father to his 3 children who I dont think he sees enough of. Hopefully if OH feels he is part of the support we are offering he might not be so angry about it all.

Anyway we will see what tomorrow brings[?][:)]

Dee

Ah good luck Dee. This must be awful for you and I can't imagine what's going through your mind. I think you and your hubby have been amazing to do everything you have. I understand you have to be there for your brother, I hope everything turns out ok for you all. Thinking of you. Viki X

Hi Viki

Thanks for kind thoughts as always.

Dee

Good luck, it's always a nice thing when you read some of the things on here and realise how amazing some people in life can be (ie you) How selfless, thoughtful even in the most extreme situations.

I wish i was half the person you are
) x

Now you made me cry x

I dont always feel very good about myself. My marriage is a breaking point, nothing to do with money or my brother. I find it a little difficult to talk about because I know some of you may meet my other half at the next FF meeting and I think it would be unfair to tarnish your opinion of him. He truly is a nice guy and I know the brain damage he suffured 20 years ago has impacted his behaviour but I'm not sure how much longer I can put up with the constant feeling of being unloved.

I didn't have much love as a child with both parents either unable or unwilling to bring us up and you know I'm happy with any small amount of affection I can get which is why it really doesn't take much to make me happy. Unfortunately it takes a whole lot more to make my husband happy which is way I allowed him to spend money I knew we didn't have.

Dee

Ah Dee, animaleyes is spot on with what he said, and he bloomin put a tear in my eye too! You're wonderful and caring and I'm sure your hubby and your brother know how lucky they are. Viki X

Aw no. Big hug.

I'm not sure what to write now..

I just hope that things work out the way you want them to. Life can be really hard and harsh sometimes.

I can't even pretend to say i understand and everything.... I just have my fingers and everything else crossed for you.

) x

Thanks guys XX

Welcome anytime ;o) x

Dee, you must do what you think is best. Its lovely you want to help him but as you say, make sure you lay the rules down first and hope he sticks to them.

Hope it all goes well and i hope hubby sees you for the kind person you really are xxxxx

Good luck Dee, I hope everything works out for you, your hubby and brother x

Good luck from me too Dee. So difficult when you feel stuck in the middle . I have been there and know how difficult these situations can be to deal with. As said lay down the ground rules and keep to them. As you say involve hubby in decisions and he will feel part of it.
You are a very strong, kind caring wife and sister , that is so clear through your posts.
Always here for some support if you need.
Big hug from me.

Ang xx

I must stop reading these posts while at work. I look a real idiot sat here blubbing!

My brother has decided to go back with his girlfriend, for how long I'm not sure only time will tell.

Thanks you guys I really appreciate your thoughts. X

Looking forward to seeing some of you next month X

Dee