Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 8:50 am
12 assorted X-mas One-Liners
1. A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said: “Anyone want to buy a present?”
2. Hear about Santa and his reindeer landing on top of an outhouse? Santa looked around for a moment, then hollered “No no, Rudolph! I said the SCHMIDT house!”
3. I hope Santa brings me that mistletoe belt I asked for!
4. I think that Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
5. No one in the history of the world has ever purchased a fruitcake for themselves.
6. No parent in their right mind would give a 6-year-old a drum set, therefore Santa exists!!
7. The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.
8. Why is Santa Claus always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
9. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
10. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.
11. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
12. When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.
Anyone got any more?
1. A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said: “Anyone want to buy a present?”
2. Hear about Santa and his reindeer landing on top of an outhouse? Santa looked around for a moment, then hollered “No no, Rudolph! I said the SCHMIDT house!”
3. I hope Santa brings me that mistletoe belt I asked for!
4. I think that Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
5. No one in the history of the world has ever purchased a fruitcake for themselves.
6. No parent in their right mind would give a 6-year-old a drum set, therefore Santa exists!!
7. The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.
8. Why is Santa Claus always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
9. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
10. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.
11. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
12. When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.
Anyone got any more?