www.iva.co.uk

I'm attending a wedding soon of a close family member and they have asked for money as a present towards a honeymoon,was going to give £50 which I've managed to save through selling stuff on Ebay and cutting down on other stuff. I feel guilty as I'm sure they are expecting more and think because I've got a decent job I'm minted,but being too generous is one of the reasons I'm in the mess I am now. No one in my family knows about my IVA and I don't want anyone to guess I'm skint! I've also had to pay for a Hotel room, outfit(ebay) etc

Don't feel guilty - they have invited you as they want you there, not just for a pressie! We're getting married this year and would be over the moon with £50 and even if we didn't get anything the main thing is that our friends and family will be with us.

Saying that I sometimes wish we'd eloped but that's another story!

£50 is plenty to give as a present and you should not feel guilty at all. Sometimes I think people's expectations can be too high. Like you DK I was always far too generous to the point that some people took advantage which makes me very cross if I think about it for too long! Actually I find weddings very boring and prefer not to be invited where possible. Had to attend 1 last year and 3 the year before but thankfully none this year so far. I hope you have a lovely time and bet you'll look great in your new outfit x

Sorry Skippy if I sound miserable about weddings. I'm excited for you but I just don't enjoy them myself - if that makes any sense x

Thanks Skippy

You're right I know,Perhaps its me feeling guilty about not telling anyone about my finances and I'm being over sensitive [:I]

Thanks for that Footiemad. I've not been to one for years, I'm so stressed just attending, so best of luck on yours Skippy[:D]

Thanks Dunkynuts and no worries Footiemad, I know how you feel! It's not just weddings with me, I just don't like social occasions!

DK, just think, however stressed you are about attending it'll be nowhere near as stressful as it is organising it! I swear I'll kill someone before the day!

i recently attended a family wedding where the couple asked for cash ,i also gave £50 and thats what most people gave ,so im sure £50 is around the right amount

Hi. £50 sounds good to me

When a friend of mine got married and wanted cash gifts they asked the donors to place the gift in an unmarked envelope, so no-one could tell who had given what amount, so that no-one could be embarrassed.

The envelopes were just dropped into a box at the reception.

Like that idea Foggy x

How do you know who to thank though?

font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica">quote:<hr height="1" noshade>Originally posted by Skippy

How do you know who to thank though?

You just thank everybody for their kind thoughts, wishes and gifts [:D]

Daughter had a similar thing at her wedding earlier in the year but they knew who the doners were as there were a lot of cheques.

They weren't bothered that some people donated more than others and just sent thank you cards to everyone.

I gave £50 to my sister when she got married. I personally wouldnt worry about it x

Wow, £50 is a lot! We asked for money towards our honeymoon when we got married. I seem to remember most people gave £20-£30. We went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago and the couple asked for vouchers. I new we couldn't afford even £20 after paying for fuel, hotel and outfits so we bought them a present insted! We have another later this month and they have asked for money too. They are lucky it falls on payday!