www.iva.co.uk

BOTH daughters announced their engagements this weekend, well done girls. How we are going to fund this lot is anyone's guess! Any tips from anyone out there? javascript:insertsmilie('[:0]')

Double wedding !? Drop hints about the weather in Gretna ??

Congratulations on the engagements, by the way.

Huge congrats but weddings can be expensive - however they don't have to be...

Firstly it is now NOT the done thing for parents of the bride to foot the bill like it used to. Especially if the girls already live with their partners.

Secondly there are amazing packages to be had at hotels and different venues around the country.

What county do you live in may I ask?

They're pretty good really - they don't know about the IVA. I know they won't expect anything but you just wish you could do something to help, don't you? Til I am in Yorkshire

Congratulations - I'm sure it will all work out and a lovely day will be had by both parties. Will they have a long engagement?

Ivamess if you look around your local area you might find what we have over here in Lancashire which is "one stop wedding shops" ... where you can get everything a wedding needs in one place - eg. a florist, photogprapher, chair covers etc.

These shops often offer brilliant discount packages. One near me offers all the chair covers, sashes and centrepieces for 325gbp! plus they discount it at some times of the year. Depending on the size of the wedding it may reduce too.

Perhaps this is something you could save towards contributing for each of your daughters if there is a long enough engagement for you to save it or perhaps a couple of car boots might raise enough?

Alternatively, depending on what they are thinking of doing, you could offer to pay for the invitations for each daughter, as this would probably come to not quite so much. Or perhaps offer to pay for a wedding car for each if you get some idea of what they are looking for.

It is much more traditional now for the parents to offer to either put in a set amount of money or offer to pay for one part of the wedding. But once they start planning and talking about the type of wedding they are looking for you'll get a better idea. Fingers crossed for very long engagements to allow you to try to contribute.

Thank you so much Til for taking the time to type all that out - will definitely investigate. And, yes, long engagements would be excellent but I know at least one of them is hoping for next Summer
I honestly don't think they will expect anything, just nice to do something lovely for them as they are great kids.

You're very welcome Ivamess and I'm sure you'll find a way to contribute... I know a lot of people in the wedding business over here and there are always offers to be had and deals to be made if you ask.

Another idea would be perhaps paying for the cake for each as this would be a way to give a very central contribution without breaking the bank. Wedding cakes are a big part of the day, one that many guests look forward to seeing, and as wedding cakes can be considered quite sentimental (saving the top tier for any future grandchildrens christening etc) it might well mean so much more.

I am sure you will find a way to contribute to your daughters special days ... however in the end the only thing they will really want is to have you there smiling with them on the day

Til's cake suggestion is a good one. This is what I did when my eldest got married.

I would also suggest balloons at any reception --- far more "bang per buck" than flowers and, with only a little practice, dead easy to do yourself.

Oooh I loved arranging my wedding!

We got married on a Friday as it was cheaper than Saturday and other weekdays are cheaper still. We had the ceremony at the register office and the reception at a nearby hotel as it worked out cheaper than a package as there was a charge for the registrar to go out to the hotel.

If they do use a hotel it's worth asking if they have a preferred supplier for room decoration. Ours did and we got the chair covers for 49p instead of £2.95 each. The also did the table decorations. We hired goldfish bowls and had gerbaras floating in them and they looked lovely and were £9 each. We considered balloons but I'm not keen on them and I didn't want people just looking at the strings. I made the favours myself but I'm no good at craft so it would actually have been cheaper to have had them made!

One thing we did splash out on was the wedding cake topper. I wanted one that was made of clay rather than icing and I found a lady who makes them and the detail was amazing - it was so good my husband couldn't see it before the day as I didn't want him seeing the dress as it was so accurate! Maybe something like that would make a nice gift, something they can keep forever?

My dress did come from a bridal shop rather than a highstreet store but it was a sample dress and less than half price. My veil was handmade by a lovely lady I found online and was a lot cheaper than in the bridal shop - I thought it was nicer as well.

Sorry, I'm getting carried away here! I definitely agree with Til's last sentence - I would have given anything to have had both my parents there.