www.iva.co.uk

hi there....does anyone eles have a fear of dying whilst in IVA????

we have only told two close friends....none of my grown up children know about it.....i live in constant fear of one of us dying...or worse...both dying at same time ...say an accident etc....we arent old...mid 50s...and in relative good health but sudden tragedy does happen doesnt it??

i have absolutely no idea what would happen to the IVA in either of those scenarios

my worst possible scenario is if my OH dies and i have to then maybe handle it all the changes etc on my own...
at night when i cant sleep i sometimes go for hours with all the possible scenarios going through my mind...but the worst thing is then maybe having to tell people...esp if i needed help to sort out wills...pensions etc...

if we both died in an accident then my children would find out and ....what would they think of us as parents ??

is it just me....hope its not cos then i think i am due a visit to the "funny farm"..LOL

I'm sure lots of people have the same thoughts when they have a family, I'm sure the same thoughts would be there whether or not you have an IVA. Don't think you're ready for the "funny farm" just yet. X

Please don't worry about things that may happen in the future, I know that its easy to say but your health is the most important thing, you are just going thru another part of your life that is difficult.
In a few yrs time you will laugh about it all and say to yourself 'why did I ....?'

I haven't told anyone about my IVA and have gone thru all sorts of emotions over the past yr especially on my own at night but next day, I meet up with my girlfriend, get a cuddle off her 10yr old daughter and everything seems 'worth it' again.

Unfortunately, no one said that life is gonna be an easy ride but as long as you are doing your best at the moment, the future will take care of itself .

I think letting close family know has its benefits and would certainly not heseitate to tell grown up children.You are in an iva and are doing something about your debts,thats something to be proud of.
Imagine for a second what would happen if you were both to go and leave a stack of credit cards and bank loan debts. I know that I would rather have left behind for my kids to cope with.
I thought of dying every day for 3 months during the last gulf conflict(mostly coz mortars were landing nearly),and knew that I couldnt die because I had to sort my debts out!!!

I think its different for everyone - there's no right or wrong solution about who to tell. We told our parents, very close friends and my 2 daughters. I wanted to stress to my daughters that living on credit cards and having nice hoidays, cars etc is all well and good but eventually it catches up with you. As they are 24 and 22yrs they get credit cards offers and the like sent to them all the time, so hopefully they will think twice before accepting credit.

I'm glad I told others as from the outside we look in a good position, both got excellent jobs so I wanted to avoid the embarrassing situation of not being able to go on holidays, nights out etc.

Its worked out well for us and one of my friends has confided how much debt she's in - at least I can give her honest advice now. although that's not to say I'm stress free with the IVA!

Thankfully there's this forum to share our anxieties too.

Julie x

thanks to all....we havent told our children...altho they are all grown up....34...26 and 23 and only one back at home after an empty nest for a couple of years.

for us its def. the "shame" factor..esp as we have nagged and nagged at them re their own finances....one is in DMP and another has just paid off a 4000.00 debt...
a lot of our mess came about because we were "helping "them...through college wedding....car debt rent money etcetc....i think they just thought we were well off and i didnt have the courage to tell them ...actually we are doing this courtesy of VISA.!!!!!

i was so embarrasses recently when one of them was arranging a family get together....we live in different parts of england and we knew we didnt have enough money for the extra petrol...so made excuses and she offered to pay for a tank of petrol for us....i just felt so bad

anyway....glad the funny farm isnt yet ready for me.!!!

I worry what would happen with my IVA if my husband dies he is almost 80 and not in good health. I struggle enough now with his pension and DLA. We haven't told our family of our IVA my parents are pensioners and not in good health and I know they would worry and our children have young families and enough to worry about with out us. And yes I am ashamed I have good job and we should have been able to live on what i earned. Of course on many fronts I hope I do not have that situation until after my IVA.

Jan

I do worry about what would happen if hubbie died. He is 61 and has heart/lung trouble.

Payplan took out insurance on us when we took out the IVA, which I presume will pay it off in the event of death.

My worry is the mortgage and secured loan. We have no life insurance at all as it is too expensive to take out for us. I guess I would just have to go BR.

Hi All,
Would the insurance offered by john Tegg help with this issue - as in does it cover and help should the worst happen to any loved one? Maybe John or one of the experts can answer that please? 9I think it may cover death and accident injury).
It's sad to know there is so much worry around this issue and I hope you all stay safe for a long time. On the telling people front I have told my sister, boyfriend ad some close friends - they all know Keith's death is what propelled me into a downward spiral so in my case it was easier to be open and honest.
Thinking of you all,
Hugs,
Chardonnay

The problem with a lot of insurances is that they are either prohibitivly high (now I know I've spent that wrong, but it sounds good!), or they don't cover for existing medical conditions.

As hubbies heart/lung problem will probably be what carries him off, I don't think there are any that are any good.

On the other hand, if I die, hubby gets a huge lump sum from work which will help him enormously - I keep checking my food now for powdered glass![:)]

My motto is to try to be honest with those who you know you can trust and confide in; I haven't told my best best friend about our IVA 'cos although I adore her, I know what her hubby will say and its easier not to say anything. My son of 14 knows about it and is very cool and collected about it - he appreciates that no, these days means no! I would rather leave my IVA behind than a mountain of debts for my loved ones to sort out. Kazzy x

Our policy does not provide a death benefit. My advice would be to approach an Indepewndent Financial Adviser. They can access the whole market and obtain the very best terms for you.

Do you know an IFA ? If not, if you will post the first half of your Postcode I will be able to find seeveral near to you.

I just wanted to say that I work with bereaved families every day, and often children who are left with the task of sorting out their parents finances. Whether parents are solvent or not it makes very little difference to how their families view them ... they still love their mum or dad. What is most important is that there are no unresolved issues ... things have been said and shared whilst the loved one is still alive. So, what I am trying to say, is that your children may be more upset if they were to lose you and you had kept things from them whilst you were still alive [:)]

Chardonnay ... you are an inspiration [:)]

Debbie

My daughter and stepchildren know about our financial position, no one else does.

John, I doubt if my husband could get cover without paying a lot of money for it with his problems - ischemic heart disease, unstable angina and Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease and currently been given an urgent referral back to the hospital.

Soulgrowth, you have hit the nail on the head. I told my mother of my problems and my family also, I didnt want to but I couldnt keep on making excuses as it left them wondering. My mother died very suddenly, noone expected it. I know she died proud that I was sorting out my problems, she told me. I wouldnt have had that if I hadnt told her. I honestly dont think family members judge, you are the precious you they love, the rest is just minor detail. I know everyone is different but I found a huge releif knowing that I could be honest, I couldnt afford clothes or flowers for her funeral but my sister and brother paid for both, as such a distressing time, I just know I wouldnt have cope with the 'secret' as well as the grief and shock. I would say be honest, to those that love you, it wont matter and those that dont, dont matter.

Love to all.