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Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 7:26 pm
by fedup and broke
I said to my boyfriend yesterday - isn't it sad how in this country we are "judged" by our credit rating. You see the Experian advert and it has people on it with yes and no above their heads. Gone are the days where you were we paid cash for everything and credit was a bad word. My parents brought us up with little money and never had credit - shame I never followed in their footsteps...

Thats just my thought for the day, hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine [:)]

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 7:35 pm
by Trickles
My parents were the same and still are. I can't tell them that I've just entered into an IVA, they wouldn't under stand. Mum always said that if you haven't got the cash to pay for it now, then you will never have. And I suppose she's right in a way. Have no choice now other than to pay cash, if I haven't got the money then I can't have it!

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 7:35 pm
by Viki.W
Yeah I know what you mean. I'm definately the one with the big NO on top of my head. [:(] Viki X

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 7:45 pm
by fedup and broke
Yep me to - but you know what it doesn't make us bad people :o) Were the ones who have faced up to our debt and are trying our best to get out of it, its the people who continue to buy on credit who call it the never never that make me laugh - its not the never never and you certainly pay through the nose for most of the credit you have :o)

We will be just like our parents at the end of the IVA's and paying for cash for the next 5 years will certainly teach us a lesson :o))

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:37 pm
by angela18
i know what you mean.. my parents would just worry themselves sick over my situation!!

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 10:09 pm
by Moneystinks
I wouldn't tell anyone I didn't have to tell. My sister thinks that these IVA 'things' are easy. I felt like being very violent towards her when she dropped that little bombshell on me today. She doesn't work (which I have no problem with) she claims benefits and gets more than me a month (Iwork full time) and she said I quote 'I'm going to CAB today to get half my debts written off with an IV thingie, what do you think?' My response went something like 'sorry I can't discuss this riht now I'm at work!' I hope you get everything sorted'. I felt like saying if only you knew how difficult, stressful, degrading, heartwrenching and how absolutely desperate most people feel when they realise they have no other option than to look at insolvency then you wouldn't be so blarsay (can't spell it).
I feel she thinks it is an easy way NOT to pay your creditors back. I know she is my sister but sometimes I could throttle her. Needless to say I hven't rang her back.

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 10:15 pm
by facingittogether
i know what you mean marie, i felt totally ashamed, worthless and a failure! it is no easy ride going through with a iva, no one knows about our problems except you guys, and thats the way i want it to stay. i think it comes from being a naturally private person!

barb x

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 10:48 pm
by scooby0
O guys please try not to feel as you do - you are not worthless at all and yes it is a shame that so many of us have ended up in this situation, but there would have been genuine reasons why it has come to us having IVA's or BR or DMP's.
What you have to hold onto is the fact that you can hold your head up high that you realised enough was enough and we have to do something about it - you have and you did. Yes there will be times when you think that the repayments are never going to end, but they will and each month that your payment is made is one month closer to that bright light that is just waiting for you. When you started your journeys the light was a miniscule(where's the spell checker when you need one [;)]) pin prick, now it's that getting bigger and bigger as each month goes by.
Be proud of your decision to deal with your situation.[:D][:D]
Take care and hold your heads up high.xx

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:00 pm
by Moneystinks
Thanks for that!!

I too could do with a spell checker lol. All computers have done for me is make me lazy!

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:06 pm
by facingittogether
thanks scooby - you are really sweet!

barb x

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:08 pm
by kallis3
I know what everyone means! There is no way I could tell my parents - I think it would kill them! They have never owed anything in their lives, not even a mortgage! There is no way I could discuss it at work either. I know I have taken the right steps towards a debt free future, but I doubt if anyone I know would understand

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:18 pm
by freelili
I think your parents would be proud that you have fessed up and faced up. We live in a buy now pay later culture and its soooo easy to fall into the debt trap. Most of our friends will have credit cards and may be feeling the pinch of this also. Like Scooby said hold your head up, youre doing the right thing.

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:21 pm
by sblack
We are exactly the same and have told no one of our situation.
I feel sometimes like we are in a secret club and I do feel ashamed of how we have ended up. But then when I listen to others who are buying things on credit and it is all over the news about rising costs I am so glad we took action when we did.
At least there is an end in sight for us [:)]

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:25 pm
by facingittogether
how many other people who have not yet faced up to their problems yet are going to be facing the same situation as us in the near future?

am just glad like you say that we faced it when we did and although it is not easy its a lot better than worrying about debt letters and robbing peter to pay paul only to end up owing the same because of the crippling interest that was added!

barb x

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:31 pm
by scooby0
I didn't tell anyone about my debt either then it all came out when my now ex husband went off with best friend and left me to deal with finalising everything. My family and friends and close colleagues at work have all been so supportive to me over the past (wow 6 years April I found out about the affair) and they're support has been unsurmountable (spell check!!! lol). I have come out of all this with a big smile on my face - as I have the freedom to start and live my life the way I want to and only have to consider my children in my decisions.