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I bought my house in 1998 following the break down of my first marriage and with the increase in house prices have a considerable amount of equity. I married my second husband in 2001 and he moved in with me. Our finances are kept very much separately.

Whilst he brought some debt with him from his first marriage he has increased the amount of debt he owes over the years and this is now in the region of £40k. His way of financially contributing is to pay for the weekly food shopping; electric bill and internet/phone bill.

The house and mortgage and all bills are in my name and I pay the household bills other than those detailed above without further contribution from hubby. I even pay the full amount for council tax - I previously had a discount for this because I was the only adult in the house but this went up when he moved in but he does not pay increased difference.

Because of the level of his debt he is now only just about meeting the payments but is not always able to pay for the weekly food shopping so I am having to pay this.

I love my husband very much and am willing to support him through this. I am also realistic and don't see why I should pay for absolutely everything (couldn't afford to anyway) whilst he uses the electric (he is the biggest user of electric due to his computer/tv usage; he has more washing per week than me and my two daughters put together; his son stays with us every other weekend and adds to the washing/electric usage; food usage; use of my car to pick him (2 x 60 mile round trip). I do rely on the 'contribution' he makes as I have my own debt problems.

Whilst I meet all my commitments if I have to subsidise hubby even further this will have a knock on affect and I will not then meet my own commitments. If I don't meet my own commitments - I am the one keeping the roof over our heads so cannot afford for this to happen.

How can I be certain that when the IP takes into account living expenses they are realistic so that he still contributes and I don't run the risk of losing the house because I am picking up even more of what hubby can't pay? Is it better to have some form of formal agreement in place[?]

Hi
Your husband will be assessed as paying a fair proportion to the household bills,This will be done by looking at your joint income and splitting the bills in the same ratio.So if you earn 60% of the total income and he earns 40% then he would be expected to contribute to 40% of household bills.
As for a formal agreement regarding the amount he pays towards the house this will not form part of the IVA agreement so you will have to take advice from a solicitor.
Be sure to have a good heart to heart regarding him entering into an IVA because it will be tough not only for him but also for you
Regards

Andy Davie
IVA.co.uk Spokesperson

About me:
http://www.iva.co.uk/andy_davie_profile.asp

IVA Helpline: 0800 197 4838
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Thank you for your reply Andy.

It is all a little bit scary at the moment.

We have always been clear about the financial arrangements we have. You are right in your assumption that I do earn more than he does. My concern about being involved with this is because we have always dealt with our finances separately and I would not wish to commit to him, even on paper, being seen to pay a share of the mortgage. Also by leaving out a commitment to the mortgage and other household bills such as building & contents insurance this would leave more available to support his IVA.

With us both being in a second marriage and him moving in with me and my two daughters, ours is not necessarily a straightforward situation. He always claims to not want/have any part in the house so when property maintenance has been needed I have always footed the bill. Equally, when home improvements have been made, which have increased the value of the property, I have always footed the bill. I even paid to convert the garage into a room so that his son had somewhere to sleep. He has only ever paid for things that he can take with him should we ever split up.

Whilst I would hope we never do split up, having already got one broken marriage under my belt I am realistic enough to know these things happen and I need to safeguard what to all intents and purposes is for my two daughters.

Is there any way around this?

I would seek legal advice prior to him proposing an IVA - just to be very clear on the issue of equity.

I appreciate you seem to have all bases covered in that you are maintaining etc the house but I think you should establish clearly that he does not have any right to the equity you have built up in the property.

Legal Counsel will also be able to advise you of the best way to protect that going forward.

If this is not clear and legally defined it may cause problems in the future.

Thank you Storm.

I think you are only saying what I know in my own mind. It just seems such a cold step to have to go down this route and I am not that naive that I don't know it is a step I need to take. I also know that things said now whilst we are very happy can change should a split become inevitable and the £££ signs start to appear - especially when he is in so much debt.

My difficulty is how to approach it so that it does not adversely affect our marriage, particularly given the pressures we are already under given his situation.

Realistically though I have to protect what I have worked damned hard to achieve. I have done this not just for me but for my daughters. It hasn't always been easy and especially over recent years would have been made easier had hubby been in a financial position to have made more of an equal contribution but the truth of the matter is he has benefited from the position we are in - even if he has made such a mess of his finances.

Because of how it has been for me over the years before I met hubby it has made me resolute to protect what I have.

Absolutely spot on advice from Storm, and a few pounds spend on drawing up a proper agreement between you and your husband could save a lot of pain and heartache in the future.

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

For further details contact me at http://www.melaniegiles.com and view my IVA blog at: http://melaniegiles.blogs.iva.co.uk