19 Days to Christmas

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Wizzzard

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Post by Wizzzard » Sun Dec 06, 2009 8:50 am
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12 assorted X-mas One-Liners

1. A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said: “Anyone want to buy a present?”

2. Hear about Santa and his reindeer landing on top of an outhouse? Santa looked around for a moment, then hollered “No no, Rudolph! I said the SCHMIDT house!”

3. I hope Santa brings me that mistletoe belt I asked for!

4. I think that Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

5. No one in the history of the world has ever purchased a fruitcake for themselves.

6. No parent in their right mind would give a 6-year-old a drum set, therefore Santa exists!!

7. The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.

8. Why is Santa Claus always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

9. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

10. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.

11. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

12. When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.

Anyone got any more?
The best psychological health comes from admitting your faults and recognizing they're caused by someone else.
Wizzzard xxx
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kallis3

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Post by kallis3 » Sun Dec 06, 2009 8:55 am
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[:D][:D][:D]

Love them Ray. I'm sure DM will be along with a few later! I'm no good at jokes.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley.
http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
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Shining

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Post by Shining » Sun Dec 06, 2009 9:01 am
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No. 6...wizz, I've bought a drum kit for a 5.5yr old! I'm a grandparent though so may not be so bad!
IVA final payment left the bank on the 26th January 2013...looking forward to a debt free future.
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debtmountain

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Post by debtmountain » Sun Dec 06, 2009 11:37 am
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[:D][:o)][:D]..Morning Everyone!!.Hee hee!!,I'm loving those Ray[;)]

I can only think of a couple at present::

How does Santa take his north pole photos?
He uses his pole-aroid..

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells, Jungle bells

Did you hear about the man who swallowed the xmas decs?
He got tinsel-itus!!....Not as good as yours,Ray.[:I]...xx[:)]
IVA accepted 13/11/2008..17 payments down,55 to go..
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kallis3

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Post by kallis3 » Sun Dec 06, 2009 11:53 am
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[:D][:D]

I knew you would be along DM!
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley.
http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
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debtmountain

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Post by debtmountain » Sun Dec 06, 2009 12:01 pm
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[:D]...You know me too well Jan [;)]
IVA accepted 13/11/2008..17 payments down,55 to go..
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kallis3

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Post by kallis3 » Sun Dec 06, 2009 1:27 pm
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[:D][:D]
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley.
http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
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