1st time post. Advice needed please.

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Post by kwakninjachick » Wed Nov 07, 2007 10:45 am

Hello. This is my first post and I am at a bit of a loss as to where to start. I guess I want to ask how people felt when they realised that they couldn't stick their head in the sand anymore and something had to be done. I feel as if I am walking around with a big sign over my head saying "failure" not just to me but to my partner, to my kids, parents everything. I don't know how I got to this point but I know that this can't continue. My partner though I have tried to tell him of our situation. He reassures me that things will be okay. However he isn't very good with money and for the last two years has basically left me to control the finances. He is a man who likes shiney new toys, boys toys. He is also quite manipulative and usually gets what he wants. I am not sure how I am going to tell him about my applying for an IVA. In my name as the credit is all in my name. Has anyone else had to do this. How did you do it? How did you broach the subject? I am dreading it. I sometimes want to scream at him..things are not okay. But....it will fall on deaf ears. There is the additional factor is that he was diagnosed as clinically depressed a year ago and has been on medication ever since. So I have tried to protect him by dealing with it all on my own. Forgive me if I am rambling but I feel as if I am going round in circles. Any advice on how, what, why etc would be great. Some of the suggestions I have had in my head on how to ease our financial situation you would not believe. Sad but true.


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Post by mikebdomain » Wed Nov 07, 2007 11:16 am
Hi kwakninjachick and welcome to the forum, believe me you are not alone. It would help the experts and other forum members to help more if you could post some more financial information about your debts and income.

By the way - nice bike...


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Post by CoverItAll » Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:50 pm
Hi kwakninjachick

The very fact that you are on here seeking to tackle your situation is proof that you are not a failure. Every one here has faced the same problems.

Post information about your incomes, assets and liabilities and just watch our Forum members help you with advice and support.

Everyone is here to help.

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Post by Adam Davies » Wed Nov 07, 2007 7:14 pm
Have a look at my article "have I really got a problem" located on the left hand side.You will see that you are not alone in how you feel

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Post by MelanieGiles » Wed Nov 07, 2007 10:56 pm
My motto is "A problem shared is a problem solved", and you clearly need to share your difficulties with your partner to reach some common understanding about the situation, and to help him understand that things have to change from now on with regard to his spending.

It may also help to chat informally to an insolvency practitioner or debt management expert to ascertain what options you really have. Importantly to determine whether you have a debt management problem or a debt problem. There are distinct differences, and caught early you can work to avoid the former turning into the latter with some simple rethinking about your lifestyle, aims and goals.

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

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