Hi All,
I have only posted a few questions so far but the response from everyone has been overwhelming to say the least, from the experts to the beginners. Knowing that someone else has been through what I am going through and can offer advice and much needed support is invaluable. I know I'm only at the beginnng of my process and I know things will get worse before they get better, but the support I have had is priceless.
It came to a point of realisation tonight when my wife said ''over the past couple of weeks I've changed''...I asked how?, she said ''it's like you're back to your old self, not snappy or short tempered''...I can honestly say it's being able to find someone to talk to and get advice and support that has really helped me. Looking back, the things that went through my head were unthinkable. All I thought about was my debts and how I let everyone down and what can I do to get out of it. Now I can see a glimmer of hope and it's because of the advice and support from this forum...
I thank you from the bottom of my heart, it feels like I have been given my life back. I will keep posting to update on my situation and hopefully soon I will be able to help others as you have helped me.
Ah Paul, thats a lovely post. I was exactly like you and found the support and advice from everyone was amazing. Stick around and we'll all be there for you. X
So glad you have found the support and advice helpful. That's what we are here for.
Keep posting and good luck with your application.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
I am so glad you found support here. Finding yourself in debt can be so overwhelming, even though you kind of know its there its hits hard when you sit down and add it all up. You feel like youre in a one way street to hell. The darkest place ever. Even in a crowded room, its like all you can hear, are the words stupid, stupid, stupid, a voice in your head and you cant shut it off. Its like you cant relate anymore to anyone or anything familiar and its so easy to feel that your life is over.
Its a long way back whichever road you take, but you can get there. Like you say, you didnt think you could find any light but your happy days are not behind you, you will smile again.
Always remember youre very precious and priceless to those around you, no matter how tough life gets, thats priceless.
Good luck on your journey, Paul, youre not alone anymore.
Isn't that lovely that the person who is closest to you in the whole world feels that you are getting back to your old self again. Absolutely priceless, and I am so glad to be playing just a little tiny part in all of this!
I too am a Paul who changed almost overnight. I think my wife didnt really appreciate how much our debt played on my mind. Glad you are making positive steps to sorting out your debts.
Paul.
Discharged today the 8th feb 2012. View is much brighter now.
Continuing to rebuild our credit worthiness.
Thanks again for the replies,
I know what you mean plasticdaft, although my wife knew we had money troubles she really did'nt realise to what extent, and that was one of my worries. I think in a way I was trying to protect her from the worry and stress and deal with it myself. However because of the advice from the forum I fully opened up and we had a really good talk about it, and since then she has been amazing....I truly realise how lucky I am to have such a fantastic wife and friend. ( not that I did'nt know that before. ).
I even managed a full 5 hours sleep last night!!!!!
We had the same problem, but the other way round. I was the one who sorted out the finances, and kept everything from my husband. That was so stressful.
Once we got it out in the open, I felt so much better and we now share everything. I don't hide anything. If we're low on money, I tell him.
Much better than bottling everything up!
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Paul, you are a carbon copy of me a few months ago, and, I suspect, also a great deal of other poor b*****s who are in the same situation. Keep on plugging mate... the difference is that now you can see a way out.
As for feeling ashamed and stupid, forget it mate.... we all went through that, but what you have to also bear in mind is the lenders culpability with irresponsible lending. I'm willing to bet that a major chunk of your current debt is made up from interest, and redemptions incurred whilst borrowing to pay off existing debt. Its a vicious circle.
I still quote the time after we paid off the wifes credit card in full and they responded by upping her credit limit to £15K. This was when she was looking after the kids and had Zero income. Madness.
Anyway.. keep posting and let us know how you get on.
It never ceases to amaze me how many posts I read on this forum that are so similar to my situation, I never for a minute would have thought that so many people could be in the same position as me. It has really helped me reading about other peoples situations on here, and like Paul since I bit the bullet and decided to take my head out the sand I feel like a different person. Still nervous, as my IVA hasnt been proposed yet, but that will be any day now I hope, but just to be doing something about it rather than sitting staring at a spreadsheet on a computer made up of lines and lines of creditors for hours on end, EVERY night wondering how the hell I was going to pay the minimum payments has taken so much weight off. Thanks from me too to all who have posted replies to my questions, and as I go through the IVA process I hope to be able to give a bit back as a result of my experiences. I really dont feel depressed about my situation anymore, I feel hopeful. Everton FC still depress me on their day however, but thats a different kind of depression.......[;)]
That's the benefit of being a member of this forum - complete support from a great bunch of individuals who want to share their experiences with others.
My IP has all the info now after a good constructive and helpful telephone appointment.He is so professional!
I'm starting to feel better that a plan of action is being drawn up with the possiblility of getting rid of the evil cards forever. And with me learning an invaluable lesson.
Most of the posters in this thread have contributed something towards my peace of mind. I too kept my wife out of the loop for fear of how it would affect her. And she has also been wonderful when she was included (after the initial shock).And it looks like we can keep her record clean if the proposals are accepted.
Thanks to you all.
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to keep me down
This forum is amazing! All your replies have been my thoughts and worries over the last few months. Since speaking to Viki W last week, I was at my wits end, we had just returned from another fruitless meeting at our bank.
They told us we were insolvent, but gave us no solutions;so I too typed the word debt into Google, and the rest is history!
Our long road has just started, I'm just getting all the info together to send off to our IP. Hopefully, we should be sorted with our IVA after Christmas.
We suffered from being the 'Bank of Mum and Dad';that is now closed, our kids will just have to learn to stand up for themselves.
I'm now addicted to this forum, better than going out spending, much better!
Welcome breakdown. I'm so glad you found the forum and that it has been a help to you, along with Viki, who gives great advice and support both on and off here.
Stick with us and you'll get all the support and advice you need.
Good luck with your application.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
