Advice for Ox

[Hyperdrive]

Hi Ox, I just got in from work and seen your thread has been wound up again.
I`ve read through all the posts which are patiently supportive.
As a depressive myself I can empathise with your state of mind. Nothing anyone says seems to make things easier, even though from the outside looking in your plight is far from irredeemable. Like you my wife somehow got us through the worst times when I was very ill.
I`m not a doctor but my concern is that your depression is blocking your progress and that until it is sorted you will continue to be unable to assess rationally the solutions available and take action. I was the same but you can get through it.
I suggest you go back to the GP and they may change your medication or offer something else like cognitive therapy.
I have a happy life again - so can you - and I have every confidence that Mel will be able to sort it all out.
Money isn`t important. You enjoyed a great weekend and there is no reason on earth you can`t have a bright future.[:)]

[Ox1987]

Thanks Hyperdrive I hope I can give you all good news soon

[josu]

Hi Ox, im glad someone started a thread for you, i know yours keep getting locked but you did say it helps so dont stop posting. Even if at times it sounds like some of us are getting impatient, i cant speak for others but i get really into it and speak my mind i guess but im not at all being mean or unkind maybe just trying a but of tough love. Anyway, again this has probably been asked but is there anything you can do about the lease car? I mean if the F&F gets refused can you get rid of the lease car and then use the money to get yourself a small economical car. That would get rid of your lease payments and cut down your petrol. Also, if your F&F does get accepted can you cope Ox or do you still need to cut down somewhere as i know i have expressed the fact that i think you earn plenty but if you really do struggle on your wage, getting rid of your debts alone is not going to sort everything out, it wont get to the root of the problem. The lease car might be the way to sort out all your financial problems. We have been running two 12 year old 1.2 cars thoughout our IVA.

[Ox1987]

It may be an option josu but there would be a penalty but that may get wrapped up in the iva
However having spoke to Amie at Mels everything is covered in our budget food clothes etc so maybe it will be tight but possibly like being in full iva anyway and things can only improve least I would not be paying debts anyway the budget would be better than the worst case wouldnt it and things can only get better

[josu]

All im thinking is if you make it less tight you will probably worry less. What good is a lease car anyway, it never ends up being yours?

[Ox1987]

I agree I think there may be a break clause that means I would not get penalised

I can and will get through this

[josu]

That could make all the difference Ox, imagine not having that lease payment and also cutting down your petrol amount? So if the F&F gets accepted you will just have more money to manage on monthly and if the F&F doesnt get accepted then you will be able to make a bigger more acceptabel IVA contribution per month. Obviously problem is buying the car if your F&F does get accepted as you will be using the cash sum for the F&F. Saying that you can pick up a decent run around for less than a grand these days.

[Ox1987]

I know it could and should be considered seriously
Trying to lose myself in a movie again but have sort of thought what have I got to lose need to trust everyone and get things sorted

[luluj]

I go back to Andy's post earlier Ox - you will be best advised now to speak to Mel's office for your specific case advise and guidance - moving forwards you need to be reassured by your own IP that your plans are in place and do-able based on your own circumstances. Take heart that so many people on the forum are behind you supporting you - and listen to what Mel's team are saying - it will not be proposed if they felt it was not a successful proposal in the making.

Life is far too short to constantly be worrying - you have a beautiful young family that need your love and time - invest your time away from work with your family and let your chosen IP do what they do best and help you through this difficult period.

Personally I would step back from the forum for a few days and let things settle - sometimes the more you repeat your feelings and concerns, the more confusing everything becomes - draw a line for a few days and let things settle.

[Foggy]

Wise words from luluj. The forum can undoubtably be a help and is always here for you -- but, maybe you would be better served, at this moment in time, enjoying your family and losing yourself in a few good films.

[Ox1987]

I will try luluj and do agree with you

Please note I did not start this thread and was responding to other posters and am sometimes confused why I am upsetting people and getting locked off as people have said to continue to post if it helps whereas there are other indivduals " struggling" like me and seem to get less of a hard time. Am I doing something really wrong if so I apologise
I know I go round in circles but I dont mean it to upset people just think a personality flaw has me this way and the concern for my family and as stated I have no one to talk to and you guys have helped alot

I will leave it for a bit and hopefully come back with some good news in the not to distant future
Thanks again
Mark

[Foggy]

You are not upsetting people, Mark. It was just felt that going round in circles (spiralling) was doing YOU no good.

You'll get there .. enjoy the films

[Kelly O]

Hi Mark,

If you want to discuss anything you are more than welcome to call the office tommorow and talk to one of the team, Mel is on holiday at the moment but either myself or Tina will be available.

Hopefully we will speak tommorow

[Ox1987]

Transformers 2 tonight on film 4

[Hyperdrive]

The Forum is here to help Ox. End of. You post away if it helps[;)]