Advice for Ox

[Ox1987]

I understand Josu, I think I need just to get on with it, I have sent a big envelope today to the team to process, and whatever happens I need to be strong for my family, remember that no one will take my children away from me and fight for each day. Sort out my depression and seek to understand why I see the worst in all situations and profess doom and not look for positives (a wife and loving kids) My eldest came up to me this morning and gave me a big hug and told me he loved me, then did the same to his mum. I think the loss of a child has impacted me more than I think and add job issues etc before now this has reached a emotional crescendo where I cannot see the wood for the trees and over exaggerate the outcomes. As you have all stated I have a high salary and low debt compared to most. I hope the counselling will help I need to get professional help and I now realise there is absolutely no reason for the IVA to be rejected (plus Mels 99% success rate) so I need to get on so I can try and enjoy my life with the children and stop the what ifs.

[Hyperdrive]

Ox glad to see you have posted stuff off and the wheels are in motion - progress [:)]
Our debts were over 100k, with less than half your income. To a large extent that`s unimportant. Mel`s team will work out what you can afford to repay. That`s why dividends can vary so much.
Anyway as said earlier I`m sure the IVA or F&F is viable and your worries are unfounded.
One step at a time, keep up the good work.

[Ox1987]

I think I have realised today that I have issue beyond the debts as you have said they are not large
I think it comes from my history of losing a child making me more protective of my kids and blowing things up too much and also losing jobs etc
I need to make this work and move onwards enjoying the kids and my life no matter how it may turn out. I also need to understand that my children are not going to be taken from me and if necessary I will get help to make sure. I need major help and counselling will do this

[Foggy]

Spot on, Mark. Dealing with the debt will certainly help though -- a major headache not to have to worry about. Then when this is done, concentrate on yourself and your family.

[Ox1987]

I am trying to get my head right its difficult but not impossible

I am not going to be homeless and I need the love of my family in a major way

[josu]

Really glad to read these posts, hope you get a good nights sleep tonight!

[Shining]

I like to see the positive posts Ox, well done x

[luluj]

No going back - the positive posts are so much better. You have submitted your paperwork now so try and not think about it ..let the IP do their work and before you know it you will have a creditors meeting arranged and your IVA will be approved.

[Ox1987]

Going to try and make this only post today, but a positive one woke up first time for a while with less feeling of dread.
Going to get some more stuff done today but otherwise I have to try and forget the debt and IVA for the weekend and enjoy the family as we have the 1st Holy Communion of my eldest. Should be a nice day as long as I can keep up the positive.
I have managed to stop some of the thoughts before they get to far I have realised that what I do is start feeling negative with one thought and then that becomes 1+1+1+1+1= Doom i have to cut it off at the first 1

I am sure you all must think it was ridiculous to think I would have to go BR and lose my home with my level of debt my job and a 10k cheque. And with a wonderful team behind me .....

And also if i did why would I lose the kids, life would change but not end. But its not going to get there hopefully......

[Foggy]

Good Morning, Mark. The sun is shining and it looks like a great day ahead. Hopefully the weekend will be good, weather-wise, too.

Enjoy the family celebrations

[Ox1987]

Heres hoping for good weather we could do with it

Strange a bit of my dark cloud came back on drive into work all based on surviving for the next 30 years or more and also back to kids. I have to remember that I have a good budget great offer great team and we can be ok I have a good job family who supports me and my parents do as well

I can survive thia intact keep my career I hope though starting to worry again
Found out last night my cousin is in an IVA small world really thats 3 people I know now 1 had conplete his and thinks it was his saviour and now got a 1.4% mortgage the other you would not know he is in one still seems to spend ok on stuff

When will my doubts go away it is causing me to slip back in negative mode. Will the meds kick in and take this away. Surely I am in a position where I dont need to go BR thats what I am telling myself.

[Shining]

and keep telling yourself that!

[Ox1987]

I am trying Lesley and I am sure it must be true, just keep getting pangs of anexity but at least not constant ones like usual

I suppose my worry at the moment is the process and the creditors what should I do with them Mels team has written to most of them and actually at present I have had very little contact but worry about them getting ugly and also it impacting their decisions saying that the smaller one wont get much vote anyway its really only down ro a few

I want to try and forget about it until Monday so I can enjoy communion

[Shining]

Oh yes enjoy the little ones communion how exciting...you'll have to update us on how that goes.

[Ox1987]

Thanks he looks great in his little suit etc and the benefit of having two boys is they can use again, though I struggle to look forward 4 years to the next one at the moment as unsure where we will be.

I am having to constantly reassure myself that I am not going to go BR and lose everything which I am not as you have all said