Advice for Ox

[josu]

Well im miles away from there, up in Yorkshire and i have just come home from a night shift and had to put the heating on!

[Foggy]

The sun is out down south ( but rain promised later). In the sun it is quite pleasant but in any shade still nippy around the Trossachs

[Ox1987]

Still Gloomy here and thats just me....

Worried that they will take the car back due to the IVA then that will create another debt that would not dilute the IVA too much but I would not have a car for work and would it affect the IVA. I would not mind it wrapped up in the F&F if I could get a cheap runaround big enough for 5. May be able to get a couple of grand from relatives to do this.
Then of course I get back to BR and losing the house then

I want to forget everything for the weekend so I can enjoy my eldest communion but it too hard and I do not even want to face the relatives we have coming tonight. The kids are very excited.
I also feel that when I am buying stuff even within budget for the weekend (my mum gave us some to help) that the money is not mine and I should not be spending , the boys asked for a 50p pack of football cards and even that makes me think.

I know you think Im being stupid and letting the depression take hold but when I see the kids happy and laughing I don't want anything to ruin that. This is when it really gets hold of me and i think the worst.
I keep thinking when we are sorting the communion that there are creditors out there not getting their money and I feel like i am a criminal.

Are we really in such bad shape that I get this stressed I keep questioning myself whether our whole lives have been propped up with debt and can we recover, also what would happen to my children if we went BR and worried about losing the house again or will mortgage provider foreclose due to iva

Even the wife's hair do made me think and she was getting depressed with grey for the first time ever.

Hopefully I can get distracted later and its just a blip, I have felt positive and as I said earlier I feel like I am the only one on here that seems to think I am going to have to go BR as I have options. Got to snap out of it

[Hyperdrive]

Our whole life was propped up with debt, just like everyone else on here Ox, and we are all recovering.
You`re on the way yourself, enjoy your kids` weekend[:)]

[Ox1987]

Don't feel like it sometimes scared of what might happen to us.. scared we are going to lose the house and everything again.. when will this stop its driving me crazy with all these thoughts. i have had enough

i am also thinking that should a person on a good salary really be in debt like this..that must be what people think

We will really lose the house for this amount of debt.

[luluj]

OX .. You have to stop this nonsense...You are not helping yourself nor are you helping other forum members .. For goodness sake listen to the advice of your IP and to those in here trying to support ... Snap out of it and enjoy your family celebrations this weekend. Sorry if you feel this is harsh but you really do have to move forwards

[Ox1987]

i am trying luluj Sorry I am better than i was just creeps back to me

Thanks for the kick needed it

You see my strength in my work is also my downfall personally as i am a planning guru who deals with forecasts etc and what ifs.....then translate that brain into my life then this is why i get stressed

I am trying to enjoy but when we are spending on the boy i keep thinking we are doing wrong

I just wish I could block it from my mind for a bit and enjoy the weekend but my worry gets the better of me all the time

I know this is a start of a journey that we are more than capable of taking and I have to stop looking so negative at it. Its only Money and the kids are more important. I just am just plagued by dark thoughts and that is destroying me

I have to keep trying to tell myself we are far from a BR case but the dark bit don't believe it....

[Ox1987]

Guests arrived got to try and enjoy it though anexity is high again I think from both having people here and trying to put it out my mind for a bit very hard I myself wish I did not go round in circles
Just wish that I could get F&F approved and move on

[Hyperdrive]

Ox you are getting there. The meds are kicking in. You are clearer about moving forward with the F&F/IVA. No-one on here has said you won`t be successful in this route.
Try and focus on your celebrations not posting. Spend the time celebrating with your family instead - the important stuff. Life is not a rehearsal.

I`m not at work Monday morning and we can catch up then with anything you`d like to share.

You ever seen an epitaph with the words "I wish I`d spent more time worrying about money"[?]

I wasted a long time with depression. You`re making great progress - put your fears on hold because, frankly, they`re not important right this minute[:)]

[josu]

Just remember what you have already paid in interest!!! You are certainly not a criminal for taking steps to sort out your debt Ox and i most certainly do not feel that way! I have said all the way through, you well get an IVA, hopefully the f&f!! Once this is sorted its just budget budget budget, then your wife will be working at some point and things will just get easier. Yes you earn more than most of us but you live a different life style which costs more than mine for example so thats why you're in debt as you just cant afford what you once could. Look at the celebs who get into debt and the amount of money that they once had!!! We all live beyond our means! I am very proud of myself for nearly completing my IVA, i feel like i did the responsible thing in facing up to my problems and paying back what i could. My house is in negative equity and i am not in a profession that would have been affected by BR so really it would have been easier to go BR for me but it was the principal. I wanted to pay it back, i didn't want to do a Kerry Katona!!! I know there are some people out there that have no choice and have to go BR but i wasn't one of them and neither are you!!

[josu]

Ox i have noticed that you sometimes edit your posts, how do you do this?

[Foggy]

Josu -- at the top of your post are some symbols --- the page with the little pencil is the edit button.

If you must edit, please don't make any major changes after someone has replied, as it sometimes make the reply out of context and can get confusing.

[josu]

I dont have a pencil

[josu]

I just have profile and option to reply with a quote

[josu]

Sorted, sorry wasn't logged in