Advice for Ox

[lem]

You have to stop living in the future and start living in the here and now, seriously, no one knows what the future holds, it is pointless and futile worrying about what if this happens, what if that happens, if **** happens, you deal with it when the time comes, not before, life is too short and you just have to deal with today.stop worrying about what might never happen, you are just going round and round in circles and not getting anywhere, you could have had all this dealt with weeks ago if you had just asked for advice, taken it and made some decisions instead of spending precious energy worrying about things that might never happen.

[Ox1987]

I have dealt with it and am speaking to Mels team and have supplied alot of information to them.
Do you have children Lem....I just worry about their futures I am sorry for that. I know I go round in circles but I am scared of everything and have been diagnosed suffering from depression deep routed not from the debt problem but way back when my daughter died and I am going to counselling and on meds for it.
I just fear BR and the implications as I would lose my job and also then my house, then what would happen to the kids. The F&F i am offering i have been told is a great offer with a good case and I have a great team behind it but i still worry and I know in comparision to others its a lower debt

Read your blog and you do have kids...

[Ox1987]

I really am struggling today and not sure I can take much more of this it feels like we are never going to resolve it. Does it take time and do I need to be patient. I hope the creditors are patient.

I still have that feeling that BR is looming and is inevitable and going to be the only way out even though it will cause a disaster scenario. I wish I could go back and not have got into debt. My kids are going to suffer for my mistakes.

Really hate myself at the moment and thinking better to wrap car round a lamppost

I hope this is the depression talking

[luluj]

Ox .. This would not help yourwife or children. I continue to repeat myself ... they are your life and they need you. Positive thoughts only..imagine how your wife would feel if she read this .. You can get through this together!

[Robbieboy]

Ox, it is the depression talking and the inability to see another solution but just listen to everyone trying to help you - that and taking your medication will make you see it all more clearly eventually. I spent years thinking things like that and now I cannot believe how ridiculous those thoughts were, my family would have been devastated and I feel so much better having gone throught the torment you are in now and come out the other side. Just do your best to get things moving and all will soon be brighter. X

[Ox1987]

I know Luluj just finding it very hard today used up all the positivity over the weekend I feel like a tortured soul at the moment living in fear of everything. That is not like me at all, I used to be the most confident person in the world. Now this scenario feels like it has destroyed me. I have a letter at home about the counselling so I cant wait for that to see if I can get good help. I have to deal with lifes twists and turns and not fear them. I just feel I have let the kids down and worry what will happen to them in the future I had high hopes for them and dreams for them.

[Shining]

You can still have high hopes and dreams for your children even in an IVA, my 4 have done just fine especially the youngest who would have been 14 when I entered the IVA.

[Ox1987]

4 kids lesley I thought I had a handful with 3

I suppose in my tortured mind its not the IVA i was worried about it was anything worse. I have got to believe it will be ok

[Hyperdrive]

Things will get better Ox even though your depression at the moment is saying they won`t.
You said it yourself - it`s the depression talking, not the real you.

[Ox1987]

I hope so I am struggling to see it at the moment and keep thinking BR the process is freaking me out as I have to see what happens.
I am off to take Dylan to cubs now, Animal badge evening in pets at home.
You see Church, Communion, Cubs I look at that and think I have good family values etc and then I see the debt and think yeah right.

[Shining]

You have high family values and don't ever think otherwise. Hope little one has a lovely time.

[Ox1987]

I do think that we are a respectable family and have always tried to be but we have got into a bit of trouble and I hope we can get out of it unscathed and not end up homeless and on benefits
I have worked to hard for this and dont want to waste my education due to debt

[luluj]

you will not be on benefits or homeless. ....there is a debt solution out there for you.

[Ox1987]

I hope so luluj I thought there was always a solution to debt what are you referring to I hope BR is not the solution as that would lead to homeless and hungry
I think the meds have taken away a bit but not the brain working overtime
When I say ill be homeless on benefits I refer to the worst case if we have to go BR
I cannot get BR out my mind it is a plague that pollutes mind every waking moment and then that turns to fear for my kids and what would happen to them I am riddled by fear. But I see us at best now in a council house on the dole and struggling to feed the kids
I feel this torture is never going to go away ...... I keep crying my eyes out over what I have done
I have sent stuff off but feel I am nowhere closer to sorting out the debts should I throw in the towel and give up I feel like it or do I need to be patient will the F&F really work I cannot get motivated for work

[Hyperdrive]

Whatever you do don`t throw the towel in now. Recognising the problem and sending all the paperwork and figures to Tina is a good way down the line to an IVA/F&F solution. Everyone keeps telling you you will be successful with the application. We`re not making things up, it`s just your depression can`t accept it !!