Advice for Ox

[Ox1987]

I am getting there lesley
Little un enjoyed Cubs trying to convince him to go to camp in the summer if we can get the money together for it. But I think he is a bit scared at the moment.

I know Melanie is one of the best and do take comfort from that.
My main issue is that I have become obsessed with BR and losing everything and cant see through it. This is driven by fear.

I know people disagree that I will go BR as I have a great offer and a fantastic IP and I am trying to tell myself that but it always creeps back. I need to have more confidence that we can get through this, keep my career and the house and then move forward.

I have developed a fear of the future in a major way and this is what I need to explore in counselling. Its almost a phobia now.

[Shining]

Glad to hear you're getting there and that little one enjoyed cubs. A big thing to go camping without Mum and Dad, bless him.

Live day to day, week to week, month to month, don't think about the future. It's going to happen anyway irrespective of whether you're worrying or not.

I wish my daughter could post on here as she's very good at CBT, she's studying Psychology at Uni and believe me she always seems to know what to say. I don't but hope that just by talking to you it does help even a little. x

[Ox1987]

Lesley all I crave is to be happy again and not go BR

That is all is it too much to ask for ??

They say everyone has their sunshine it cant always rain

[Shining]

It isn't too much to ask for at all and I'm sure it is achievable. Hang in there. One day at a time. x

[Ox1987]

I just keep having massive panic attacks about it all my whole body freezes and I come over all hot and pins and needles.
The whole thing is paralysing me. All I seem to keep thinking is would my family survive BR I even asked my wife that this morning and she said I dont know.

Why cant I see past it, I dont want to go BR and want to be happy with the kids again. We have stayed reasonably within budget this month so far had a bit extra for communion etc so that helps and my parents gave us some money to see us through it.

Am I really being stupid I am trying to take one day at a time but feel its like groundhog day

Just wish I had more confidence that our F&F proposal will work

[Shining]

You're doing fine Ox, I'm not any use with advice about depression/panic attacks or the like as thankfully never suffered. I try not to let things get to me and have the ability to put them out of my mind. I was nervous I won't lie in the run up to the IVA but I used the forum and kept faith in Melanie (she was my IP too) and and the rest as they say is history.

You've sent some paperwork so I'm sure the ball is rolling, hopefully once you get that meeting date things may seem easier.

[Ox1987]

I hope so Lesley I am trying my best and realise that I do have a great family but I dont want any harm to come to us especially over this debt.
I need to have more positive thoughts and see it as a good offer that why would they refuse it and also why would Mel put it up if she thought it would be refused. I need to have more confidence in this and get things done. I just want the debt gone/controlled so we can move forward, everything scares me and thats what sends me round in circles (Im back to whether accountants should do IVAs today yet there are ones on here).

My kids are my life but I want them to be happy and have a happy life with a happy daddy if possible

[Shining]

None of those things are impossible all achievable. I'm happier now than I've ever been by sorting out my debts. I won't say I live a life of luxury but I am confident that unless tragedy strikes I'll remain in a far more beneficial financial state than I've ever been in. You will get there too and with the ages of your children I doubt they'll even notice.

[Ox1987]

Will I

I need to get this F&F approved and then I may see the light, my budget is managable quite well I think.
I hope that I have a bit more confidence that it will be accepted...

Again though this afternoon all on my mind has been BR and the kids I cant help it I feel routed to the spot with worry. I have not been able to eat today with it.
Surely there is no reason that I need to go BR....

[Foggy]

That first sentence is ass about face !!! Not "Will I ?" But "I Will!"

And, there is no reason at all that you need to go BR.

[Ox1987]

I know deep down Foggy its just the passing of time is scaring me a bit and I have a few more things to do I think it is a good offer and im confident of surviving after now also as we have used the budget this month. Just cant get BR out my head it has become an obsession driven i think by the depression. Counselling starts 10th June.

[Shining]

Good luck with the counselling Ox, hope it has a positive effect for you.

[Ox1987]

I hope it will help but really want to get the iva done so we can move on I still fear BR in a major way
I need to be successful as I dont want to lose everything

[Hyperdrive]

Hi Ox, you done well today with sorting the counselling. I had some good news today on the medical front - my blood tests are clear, well almost, but the main thing is I`m not looking at another 7 week stint in hospital so Happy Days and we bought some wine.
How`s your evening?
I noticed you said you have a few things to do?

[Ox1987]

I few bits of paperwork left to send or get

Still feel a bit doomed that we are going to end up bankrupt dont want that but feel negative