alternating between fear and shame. Please help

[deb.w]

Hi,
I have been reading some of the postings for some time now and have finally plucked up the courage to post on here. I am not really sure where to start but basically after a year on maternity leave our finances are pretty dire. We own our own house but have no equity to raise; we have a rented property that has been up for sale for 6 months and not sold but my husbands buy to let mortgage (with Northern Rock) has come off a fixed rate and has increased by hundreds of pounds per month. We have been making ends meet using credit cards and overdrafts but now we have nothing more to raise; all cards etc are maxed out. Our debt exceeds 40k with unsecured loans credit and store cards. Most of our debt is in individual names(mine and my husbands) we only have one joint bank account.
Our outgoings exceed our income with over 1000 per month being paid in cards etc.
I understand that an IVA is intended to offer an affordable way of paying back debt but some of the postings on the forum are quite scary to read.
We basically don't know which way to turn and what to do for the best. Our credit score is ironically excellent; we have managed to pay everything so far on time but we cannot continue I worry that this month or next everything will fall apart and I will be canceling direct debits because I just can't pay.
We desperately need some advice but are alternating between fear and shame.
Please help

[debtfreesusie67]

Hi deb welcome to the forum. I can't answer your questions I'm sorry but I wanted to say there's no need to feel shame. We are all in the same boat here so you've come to the right place.
Hugs

[facingittogether]

hi deb and welcome to hte forum, you have come to a great place for advice and support!

please dont feel ashamed, remember that most of us on here have been where you are now! you will not be judged on here only supported!

there was no one more scared than me hun! our debts were crippling but honestly there will be a way forward for you! our iva was accepted in april and it honestly feels like a weight has been lifted! facing up to your problems is one of the hardest parts, so be proud of yourself for doing that!

if i were you i would get some professional advice and please dont feel scared about doing that (i was as i thought i would be judged)
the experts will listen and be non judgemental!

keep posting and let us know how you get on!

love barb x

[indebtforever]

no shame here deb the creditors are to blame also they give us too much to spend .You have done the hardest bit accepting the inevitable that you need assistance now go and speak to a lovely lady on this forum called melanie she will give you your options[:D]http://www.iva.co.uk/forum/pop_profile. ... lay&id=525[;)]

[freelili]

Hi Deb

First of all I know this is a very stressful time but you are almongst friends here on the forum and there is an answer to your problem out there somewhere.

Dont be scared of an IVA, it could be an excellent way of sorting your debts out. Like plumbers and builders, there are good and not so good companies. Its a question of you finding out everything you can about whats involved so you can make an informed choice and with eyes wide open. So many people are so desperate, they can jump in grabbing a chance with both hands without full knowledge. There are a couple of IPs here that have recieved rave reviews from the people that have used them. The longer it goes on the more likely it is that you will reach max out and then its panic time, which is where I was a couple of years ago.

My advice is to speak to someone right now. With what you have said, it might be possible to do full and final one off payment using your buy to let or rental etc...

I am not a technical expert, just someone who has been through the stress of debt.

Make a list of your income and expenses, assets etc and try a few companies. I would recommend you try Melanie and Ian but also check out www,iva.com website for feedback on IP's and companies. Ring three or four just to get a feel for whats ahead, then make an informed choice.

good luck and please post back.

[luluj]

Nothing to fear and nothing to be ashamed about - in fact quite the opposite. You have acknowledged your wrong doings and are now taking the steps to put things right with your creditors. For some people it is so easy to go straight to the bankruptcy court ...but for others who borrowed the money in the first place from our creditors it is important to retain some kind of moral stance and pay what we can back - believe you me it is very satisfying to know our creditors will received 81p back in every pound (if not more) at the end of our 5 years!

remain positive and all be ok!

[angela18]

hi deb

we were in a right state before I found this forum.. living on credit, not missing payments but nothing to live on. we called melanie and her team are brilliant. give them a ring whats the worst that can happen. they will give you all options available

[Soulgrowth]

Hi Deb

A familiar story ... most of here have been there.

I'm no expert but with the two properties it makes things a little more complex ... but as the others have said, the very best thing to do would be to talk to a professional IP, and you could do a lot worse than Melanie.

I would, though, in the first instance, speak to Paul Johns (posts as Reviva) because from my perception your situation (young family, siginificant life changes etc.) might benefit from the fresh start that bankruptcy might be able to offer you.

It's important to consider all the options and at this early stage, whilst you are still in control of things, is the best time to do so. The important thing is to maintain the control over your situation and make informed choices.

All the best

Debbie

[Lisa2009]

Deb, dont be scared and deffinately dont be ashamed.
So many of us joined this forum feeling the way you do right now but with all the help and support, that soon changes and peoples posts become more and more positive.

There will be a way forward for you but as others have said, write as much info down as you can and have a chat with a few companies.
I would recomend Melanie Giles or Ian millington who both post on this forum. They both have exellent reputations and once you have chatted you will start to feel much better and far more positive.

Good luck xxx

[MelanieGiles]

Hi there

Most people who start of the journey to debt freedom have the same thoughts and fears you are currently having - but you have taken the first step and from hereon you are sharing your problems with people who can help you to find a solution.

You really ought to now have a chat with an insolvency practitioner, who can explain all of your options to you and help you to understand the advantages, disadvantages and implications of each one. And do continue to use the forum which is awash with helpful advice from the real experts - those who are in or have been through insolvency procedures personally.

[drowning-mummy]

Hi Deb and welcome,
I'm sorry if any of my posts scared or alarmed you, I somehow manage to sacre and alarm myself!
Apart from the second mortgage we are in an identical situation to you. I feel dreadful and so embarrassed about our situation. I look at things that we have bought on credit and just want to burn them!
I never knew that had children would be so expensive! We have had 3 (sadly our eldest passed) and I guess that led to us spoiling the girls rotten. We should have been more sensible and at least had savings before we embarked on maternity leave. We have negative equity in the house, have no pensions (we cashed them in to pay for sons headstone/burial)and nothing to fall back on, yet still we continued to spend in the hope that one day it would get better. Like you we had a great credit score, but that was shot to zero within weeks!!!! Its been almost a month that we have had no credit (it ran out) and adapting is scary. Hubby started new job (I'm on maternity) and whilst waiting to be paid we have had mere pennies. I had to borrow money at the weekend to buy baby milk. Daughters birthday money has gone on food. So I get scared too, but once his wages kick in and I return to work I'm sure with the help of an IVA we can do this. We will certainly be better off and not have to buy nappies on credit!
You are in the right place, contact me if you want to chat.

[michael.t47]

Hi Deb, welcome to the forum. i too was like you and eventually faced up to reality. i contacted melanies team and tina was wonderful. i am just starting to get everything prepared for my proposal. everybody on here has been wonderful and supportive. make that call you will not regret it