Hello All
I joined this forum in 2006 in a state of stress caused by indebtedness. My own stupid fault I know. Anyway there have been so many twist and turns in my life since then, I hardly know if I am coming or going, and I got to the stage where I was passed caring, whichever direction you go, you end up another year older and another year nearer to the end, right? I was going to say another year deeper in debt but no, that ship sailed and will never return.
Anyhow, I digress. I have been thinking long and hard about this forum, the good it does and the people that come and stay for a while and then move on. I have come to realise its time I moved on, I need to leave here now and start to look ahead with my own life. Things went from bad to worse for me with the death of the best friend I ever had in the world, a few weeks after I started posting. Since then things have gone OK, ish well, I survived it all anyhow and have a happier life than I thought I could.
Well one week ago my father in law was taken into hospital, he suffered a stroke around 5 years ago but was coping with his stick and the love and care of his wife, my Mom in law. Even though I am divorced, she has always continued to support me in any way she can and when my Mom died she has tried to be a second Mom.
Yesterday we received the devastating news that my father in law is dying of cancer, today, I learned that he only has a couple of days. I have been trying all day to break the news to my children, eventually I sat them down and told them, the boys took it all in and seemed OK but my young daughter, she is in bits and very scared. This poor girl has had so much to live with and overcome in the last two years, it’s the last thing she needed. I am so very sad for her, she needs me now more than ever and I will be there for her.
So I just wanted to say, this is my last post, I really do need to move on, what started as a journey through death seems to be ending with one too. This time I know I can survive it, this time I know the sun will shine again, my children will be happy again and we will be even closer than before.
I guess the message here is not one of sympathy, as I have never, ever wanted that for my children’s disabilities or for myself. Just about the things in life that are important, the things you feel will always be there. It won’t matter in a hundred years time that I didn’t have a carpet on the stairs or I managed to get into some debt. What will matter is the memories we leave behind, like the memories I am having right now as I think of my Father in law, when he held my first baby, how he took them for ice cream and how much he loved us all.
God bless you all and thank you to Sally at Admin and my special friend Ang.
