any tips on breaking news about financial hardship

[curiouscat]

Hi - my partner and I are just in the application stage of an IVA..we have two (11 and 13) year olds who have had a releatively stress free life in terms of budgeting etc.. has anyone any tips on how to break the news about financial hardship - its not something they are used to and I dont want to worry them unecessarily, but keen for them to understand our situation.
Also, can anyone recommend grant thornton, as this is the company currently dealing with our case. Thanks.

[Viki.W]

Hey curiouscat, welcome to the forum. I haven't got any kids and I'm not with Grant Thornton so I can't offer you any advice but I just wanted to say hi and good luck with your application.[:)] Viki X

[MelanieGiles]

Hi curiouscat and welcome to the forum

Grant Thornton are a great company to work with, I know the partners who work there very well, and if I ever needed to do an IVA they would be my first point of call - as I cannot do my own!!!

Turning to the children, just be honest and explain to them that Mummy and Daddy are going to have to cut some of their expenditure, because costs are rising and it will be important that every penny is spent on important things, and that treats have to be saved up for. You will find that children are often more resiliant to change than adults, and can easily adapt - and get them involved in savings by opening a post office account for each of them to put their pocket money in. Tell them it is a competition out of all of you to see who can save the most.

[Jan01]

Hi Curious Cat

I would be honest with the kids and say that things are difficult re money and everyone will have to be careful and treats and presents won't be as plentiful. Reassure them as well. I wouldn't go into details other than the bare facts that effect them, i.e. pocket money may be reduced birthday and Christmas presents won't be as big, that you won't be able to pay for them to go on school holidays if those things apply. Then if they ask for something you can't afford you can gently remind them that you can't afford it.
There may be sulks and bit of feeling hard done by but children are resilient and soon adjust especially if other cheaper costing treats are arranged so they don't feel they are missing out entirely.

Hope that helps, as to Grant Thornton sorry but I am not with them.

Welcome to the forum and good luck with everything

Jan

[angela18]

hi curiouscat..
we have a 13 year old, we chose to tell her and she was fine. she doesn't know everything just what she needs to. we told her that we had money troubles and for a while things maybe tough. she understands, she gets pocket money and she saves for things she wants, so I'm hoping this will put her in good stead for her own finances in the future.. they aren't daft and know when somethings not right, and they're a lot tougher than we think

[cat 1]

I didn't go into detail with my two.Just said things would be tighter than usual as we'd cut up any credit facility we used to use.Hence, couldn't have if we couldn't afford it.To be honest though, it's not ging too bad and at least they get a regular allowance now and usually we can run to local school trips but not fancy school holidays to ski resorts and New York.We would not have been able to agree to that before though so no difference there.Hard to know where all our money went before.Think we just got over whelmed.Tried to re mortgage, consolidate etc and just got further in.We certainly didn't have a top of the range everything.Only real differnce is the amount of clothes and no foriegn hols for us :-(My eldest has just asked for £12.50 concert tickets at a local venue.Just reminded him that he had £30 for Alton Towers school trip friday so he could have been mindful of the need for a ticket.He has to learnt to budget too!Can't be a bad lesson to teach them!

[Kazzy E]

Hi curiouscat. My son is 14 and we sat him down and told him about our money worries. He is sensible and understood fully, and now we find it easier when we have to say no, as he understands the reason why. He has a very large paper round on a Sunday and earns his own £25, so if he wants anything big he saves up for it and doesn't really ask us for much anymore. You can do other things for the kids to compensate that don't cost loads of money, i.e. invite a few friends round for a DVD and homemade pizza, or perhaps a couple of mates for a sleepover. They soon adjust to their new frugal way of life and it will teach them a really good lesson for when they're older. Kazzy x

[Lisa2009]

Kids are realy resiliant and adjust probably better than we do. As Kazzy said, there are lots of fun things you can do with them that dont have to cost and they will probably appreciate them more than anything.
I know for us, not being able to give them money to go out when they wanted to actually did us all a favour because we all grew closer, spending more time together, even if just watching a film together with a few bags of sweets.
We had many a night where we sat down to watch a film and ended up just chatting and really laughing about things in general, which was lovely.

Kids cope far better than adults, no matter what life throws at them so just be as honest as you can with them and tell them you are cutting back but that doesnt mean you cant still have fun.

[plasticdaft]

WE just told our 11 year old that all the money we had been spending wasnt really our as it was on credit cards and now the banks have asked for them back so we can only spend what we have. He has been great about it and enjoys hunting down bargains at the supermarket. He has grandparents who buy him treats now and then(they are by no means rich,or even well off),and if we can save money one week on groceries we split what we have saved between the 3 of us and go and buy something(or save the money individually).

Explain as much or as little as you want to,but kids arent daft so be careful what you say.

[Moneystinks]

We have told our 9 year old we are saving u, so are spending as little as possible. We have also explained that everything is going up in price although our wages have not changed - We also had a cheap shot about the important of working hard at school and getting the job you want to do instead of the job you have to do!

Good luck. X