They aren't forced at all. Parents who do EC are very gentle and would never force their child into anything.Being forceful goes against everyhing that attachment parenting stands for!
Let them be children without forcing them to be mini adults, which is what EC sounds like. Children have to grow up too quickly these days anyway so let them stay in nappies until they are ready.
Lula, I hope you're feeling more positive about things. As the others have said a baby is a blessing and your IVA shouldn't get in the way x
I'm sorry AR, but I think this is forcing children to do something that they are not ready to do.
I did not mean that parents bullied the babies or anything like that!
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
I dont see it as natural for a number of reasons, If a baby was suppossed to be able to control his/her bodily functions then surely they would be born with the abilty to do so just like they have basic instincts.
The toileting is taught to habit and sound related than to natural urges of I need a wee or I best run quickly I really need a wee. So what there are bound to be quite a few accidents along the way if someone isnt "ssssssss"ing or placing them on a toilet at set times.
I am a firm believer it will happen when a child is ready. My two are like chalk and cheese my son was dry day and night just after his second birthday my daughter was closer to 3 when dry during the day and not long being dry on a night.It is so easy to do when theyt are ready as they can then relate it to natural urges.
Angel just out of couristy what does EC and attachment parenting actually mean and what values? I am being nosey as I think parenting is a fabulous subject.
Dee
Back to square one but what dunt kill you makes you stronger!!
Children have a natural progression from birth onwards and this should not be tinkered with. Let them do it in their own time.
As I said previously, I think this is all around the parents and how quickly they can get rid of the nappy stage and nothing to do with the kids at all.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
EC stands for elimination communication. The idea is (apparently) that the parent understands the child's signals of needing to 'go'. When they think this is about to happen they catch what baby produces.
The next stage is then (I think) making sounds such as pssss when baby goes. The idea being baby associates the sound with voiding bladder/bowel.
Then there is a natural progression from that, in time, to being able to pop baby on a potty, make the sound and for the child to go.
Someone who practices attachment parenting will
Have a natural, pain relief free delivery:
co sleep with baby
wear baby in a wrap sling
breast feed
use reusable nappies
practice baby led weaning
make their own organic baby food and not use jars.
Never practice crying it out (CIO)
The idea is to have a strong and continual bond with your child, basically.
Jan, it really, really, really isn't about getting them potty trained sooner - people do EC as they believe it to be natural. They see it as an added benefit, I guess.
I have to say that I do not agree with any of that at all!
I didn't do any of it either and will not encourage my daughter to do it whenever she has a baby!
I had to have an emergency caesarian, coudn't produce enough for breastfeeding and think thing should progess naturally without the need for trying to push things through earlier.
It is something we will never agree on!
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
I would imagine that if an attachment parent needed an emergency section they would have to cross the natural child birth off the list!
I had gas and air with 2 of mine, nothing with the middle one as he was born at home and the midwife didn't have time to get it out of the boot of her car, so I may not quite fit the natural birth criteria!
7 year IVA completed in December 2016 - there is light at the end of that tunnel
Congratulations on your pregnancy, i'm sure you'll be able to sort something out with your IP and Melanie's right, a baby is so much more important than a few debts.
I have a 3 year old and had another baby a few months before we went into an IVA, you really do not need much for a baby - just the basics, the most important thing is the love! As much as it would be nice to go all out buying all the best things etc, it isn't necessary - i definately realised that more 2nd time around.
Nothing is pushed developmentally as I have repeatedly said. In fact, it is the exact,total opposite. An AP parent will parent gently. They have an inredible bond with the baby and nurture them as nature intended.
Cath,CIO(crying it out) is basically what some parents do to sleep train their child. Instead of going to baby when baby cries during the night they will, if baby is fed and dry and well, leave them to cry for as long as it takes for them to fall asleep.
Jan, I am surprised by your comments. I would never, ever try and encourage my children to parent in a particular way. It will be for them to find their own way and make their own choice as to what suits them. I would support them and respect their decision in this as in everything.
How else can you learn and grow in life?
I could never do any of that! If I ever had a baby I would have as much pain relief as the hospital could give me (no point suffering for nothing!), use disposable nappies and buy jars of baby food.
I knew from an early age that I'm not cut out for being a mum and I think this goes to prove it! I love my god children to bits but I can hand them back [:D]!
All I said was that I wouldn't encourage her to use that method of parenting. I know she wouldn't anyway as it's anything for an easy life with her. I would advise her the same way my mother advised me. If she chooses to take that advice then fine, if not it's up to her. My step daughter knows that when we look after her daughter things are a lot different here than they are at her house.
I was fortunate in that my daughter slept through the night from about 8 weeks old, in fact I used to have to wake her to feed her prior to that until I realised that if she was hungry she would wake anyway.
It's something else we will never agree on AR.
I could not leave a baby crying in the night either I'mn afraid.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
As with everything else in life it is not just personal preferances is also situations that dictate how you parent. When I was excpecting my first I was going to be super stay at home mum, as little pain releif as possiable, breast feed, wasahble nappies the lot!! I managed 4 days breast feeding before my grandma saw the state I was in and how unsettled my son was and frog marched to Boots for a tin of milk. For her doing that I will be eternally grateful. The nappies never happened and I had the lot on pain relief front!
My second was more relaxed I told my widwife from the start i knew all the benefits of breast feeding but its not happening I tried, failed and beat myself up over it so for me and my baby bottle is better as surely feeding is not just about the nutrients. I wanted all pain relief and ending up turning the air blue when midwife refused to let me have anything as it was far too late!!
I ended up back to work when both my children were 10mth old the first one i needed to for my own sainity and my second i had to as i was on my own and needed to maintain a roof over our heads. when i could of quite happily sat atr home watching Jeremy kyle baby in a sling supping tea!!
Last edited by fingerscrossed on Fri Nov 20, 2009 12:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Back to square one but what dunt kill you makes you stronger!!
It all sounds very ideal, but in the real world a lot of people can't afford not to work, and therefore don't have the time to make their own baby food, wash nappies etc.
I know if we had children I wouldn't have any choice, I would have to go back to work as there's no way we could afford to live off one salary.
