I thought everything was going too well!!! Last night was awful, my husband was in a bad way and really down about being in this IVA. The evening went from bad to worse and in the end I ended up having to tell our eldest son exactly what was going on. I now feel that I have lost any respect that he had for me and to be honest fell rock bottom. It's not hat we can't afford the payments in fact I don't really know what the problem is - all I know is that I wish I was in a different place at the moment. I sincerely hope that this feeling goes away soon because it's truly horrible. Where my Husband works they are currently restructuring jobs etc and his position is vulnerable and we won't know the outcome of this for a couple of weeks. I'm just hoping that if he is made redundant our creditor's will allow a full and final based on our remaining payments (we've already paid an extra £12k in bonuses). The truth is he will never get another job in the same industry while we are in the IVA. The sun is shining today for a change, kids have started their school holidays and I don't know which way to turn. Sorry for being so negative but it's just the way I feel at the moment.
We all have down days Footiemad but they will pass. You're dealing with a lot right now and one problem always seems to compound another (for me at least). You're son will come around....young people can often be quite judgemental in their views as they haven't experienced too much of life. He just needs time to get used to the idea and to understand it.
Why not take the kids out for a walk in the sunshine - it'll do wonders for your mood!
Hey footiemad - this is the place to come when you're feeling down so don't apologise. Sory to read you had a rough evening - its no wonder hubby is more down - things are more easy to cope with when you feel secure but if he is now vulnerable it will change his perspective on things for a while and wobble the boat. Best things is to accept the feelings for now, understand where he is coming from and why things feel bad but know this is not a permanent situation.
Your son may have a little bit of a bad reaction because he is only finding out about it now but hopefully over time and with maturity he will learn that what you are doing earns more respect than the people who carry on living beyond their means. Everyone can get into a mess its what you do to get out of it that is important.
Hope you manage to have a good weekend and BOL is right - getting out and moving can do wonders!
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Hope you are feeling more positive again soon we all have days when things seem to get on top of us more.We have only got the one child he turned 13 in july and he knows all about the iva.Your son will still respect you.Take care footiemad x
Hi Footiemad. Far from being negative, these are normal reactions to what's going on for all of you at the moment. There's s lot of uncertainty around for your family, and that's what provokes the 'wobbliness' as I call it. I can't imagine your son's love for you will dissipate because of the news you've shared with him. It's all new to him and may take a little time to process. Try if you can not to second-guess what he's thinking, because you can't know until he tells you. What you definitely do know is that hubby will be given an outcome about his job and the IVA will eventually end. If he is made redundant, the IVA could end sooner, as mine did with my redundancy. May the sun shine on you today, and know we are on here for you. x
IVA journey started: 30th March 2009. Settled: 17th July 2012. Completion Certificate received: 13th March 2013. Breathe. x
We all have days like that footiemad. I wasn't happy having to tell my daughter about the IVA but she's fine with it.
For me, at the moment, it's all dragging and this year is turning out to be the year from hell for several reasons. Anything that can go wrong is going wrong.
I hope the outcome is good for hubby with his job.
You know where we are and you can come on here at anytime and we'll all be there for you.
We have bad days and good days and sometimes when it's a bad day it's the worst feeling ever. Each month you're a month closer to completion. Hang in there, telling your son may have shocked him initially but as others say he will come around and hopefully be sympathetic of your problems that you are facing head on. x
IVA final payment left the bank on the 26th January 2013...looking forward to a debt free future.
Hiya , I really hope things take a turn for the better for you. I know exactly where you are coming from. We have job uncertainity and having all the kids makes it worse. I am sure your oldest will come round. Probably digesting the info then will come back with a list of questions. You are probably worrying knowing will have an efect on your eldest but kids are able to "go with the flow" more than us grown ups. Fingers crossed it all works out well regarding the job
Thanks Bol. Not feeling great but better than the other day. I think when we know one way or the other about hubby's job we'll be able to sort ourselves out. On the plus side the sun is shining and I went to the beach today - which was nice x
