Bankruptcy threat

[vicky 11]

Thank you all very much. I do feel so much better now. Mainly because I can see that I am not alone. I have been looking into bankruptcy and I understand a little bit better now. Its so easy to feel all alone when there is noone you can really talk to about things. Although my Dad knows about it, he will never talk about it. I cant quite understand how he feels about this. I know it might sound stupid, with me being 45 and having teenage kids but I just dont want to let my Dad down. I phoned him today but I couldnt tell him, I have even been to his house but I couldnt knock the door.

Mr Andy Davie.
I explained my circumstances to CCCS and they said I should go Bankrupt, I then phoned them after my Dad gave me the money and they said I could write to the creditors, they even sent me some letter templates to use. They also mentioned that an IVA would be unsuitable. At the time I didnt really know if I could ever return to my old job as I have to drive but I was banned for two years, they said with everything being so uncertain it was best not to enter a DMP, which would go on for a long time.

I think I need to speak to someone as soon as possible so I will try the CAB on Monday. As I can give them the letter and see what they say. I have told the creditors that I have this money in the bank. I was thinking that perhaps this company think by threatening me with bankruptcy I would just pay them in full instead of the 20 per cent I have offered. If I did that I wouldnt be able to give the other creditors what I owe them. I had a letter yesterday off another creditor, they say all they need is medical proof and they will accept the offer, so its all kind of up in the air right now. I dont quite know what to do with the creditor that has accepted if I am forced into bankruptcy. I still have the money as I dont count it as mine.

Thanks again for all of your help and support, I am really grateful and do feel much better.

[chris.g]

Vicki, please bear in mind that if they force you into br, you don't have to pay the fees. If they want you br, let them pay for it....

[Soulgrowth]

Hi Vicky ... just wanted to say welcome to the Forum.

There comes a point in life when it comes down to basic survival ... and that is of you and your children. You have made attempts to pay your dues to your creditors, they are not happy with that ... that is their choice. The money that you owe them, to them is a drop in the ocean and they will be insured against it or be able to write it off against some kind of tax relief as a company I suspect.

Please rest assured that you are not by any means the only one who has thought about, or attempted to take their own life because of their debts, there are many of us here who I know have had similar thoughts ... myself included. It is a potential 'way out'. But you are still here, and that means that there is a solution.

My advice to you on the basis of my own personal experience would be to cease contact with your creditors, you have tried and this, at this stage it will only give you more stress and achieve little. Instead, put your energy into phoning, as Andy advises, someone such as Melanie Giles or Paul Johns and get some expert advice FOR YOU.

If I were you I would also give Dad the money back ... and assure him that you are a big grown up girl now so thank you dad, but please don't worry about and have your hard earned money back as I will sort it out myself. Don't let your creditors take you dad's money ... you will be his daughter for life, your creditors will only be your creditors until you find a solution ... which you will.

All the best

Debbie

[Lisa2009]

Well said Debbie xxx

[vicky 11]

Hi Soulgrowth

What an excellent way of putting my problem into perspective. I feel so much lighter, I have tried so hard to pay the creditors what my Dad gave me. My Dad was a school head teacher and is a little scary but even he couldnt argue with that.

I do not feel suicidal anymore, I wish I had found this forum before I when I couldnt see any light, eternal darkness seemed the only answer. I regret very much what I did to my Dad and my children.

Right now I feel I could bang on my fathers door and let him have it. I wont though, I will just have this weekend knowing that I can get through this.

I have felt like a nothing for almost three years. All I really wanted was my Fathers understanding and forgiveness, not his money.

Thank you so much for that. I am all fired up right now.

[Lisa2009]

You will never be a nobody and certainly not to your dad. His love is unconditional.
I really hope you tell him and maybe show him your posts on this forum if you feel you cant just say the words.

Good luck and have a good weekend xxxxx

[Soulgrowth]

Vicky ... you will find a solution ... and you will get through it ... and your Dad will be very proud of you ... as will your children [:)] And you will turn your life around for the better.

If you go for BR your Dad's money will become an 'asset' and be swallowed up ... don't let that happen [;)]

We are all here to support you ... promise that you will check in daily over the next few days and let us know how things are developing ... we will all help you every step of the way.

Debbie

[chris.g]

Vicki, this situation is a always a shock, even though the problem doesn't happen over night, it usually takes years to get to the point where most on the forum have been. Take a breath, the first step is always the hardest and you have done that today, things will get better, I promise you. The road may be a bit bumpy but you will get to the end, there is a better, debt-free life at the end of it.
As Debbie says, keep popping on, even if it's only to read Gavin's jokes!!! lol.
Take Debbie's advice about your dad's money, give it back and show him you are dealing with your problem.
Take care hun, we here if you need us,
xx

[vicky 11]

Hi again.

Yes I will keep coming back, I had an experience today actually. I smiled at my daughter and she said, Mom is smiling!!!!! Well that is because of your lovely replies, I hadnt noticed I had stopped smiling. A huge weight has been lifted off me today.

I cant express how grateful I am with words. You do very good work on here. I have read some very funny post too which have really made me laugh. Although I have read many different stories here, it really feels better to just pour everything out. If anyone else out there is thinking the same.... POST. I wrote a couple of posts but was too scared to click submit. So glad I did now.

Thank you.

[Soulgrowth]

That's one of the great things about this Forum ... we come here initially in the depths of despair ... and end up helping others! [:)]

Keep smiling Vicky [:)] [:)] [:)]

Debbie

[chris.g]

from me as well, keep that smile on your face hun, [:)]
xxx

[Lisa2009]

Then its well worth dealing with this then your kids can carry on seeing mum smiling.
You WILL get through this and as others have said, we are all here to help each other or even just for chit chat.

I'm sure as time goes by, your posts will get more and more positive and you will feel like such a weight has been lifted.

If you try and let your dad read this thread he will see how scared you are feeling and will only want to support you.

You have come a long way from your first post till now so keep them coming and ask away or even just have a rant and write your feelings down. I can promise you, nobody on here will judge you.

[vicky 11]

Hi All

I am just begining to feel a little scared again. I wonder if I could just ask another couple of questions?

Firstly, I have paid a couple of the debts off with the total money my Dad gave to me, another creditor which I have offered 1.5K to have almost accepted, they just need some medical proof, they want a copy of my presciption list to verify that I have told them the truth. Should I pay this debt off, with this bankruptcy threat hanging? If the threat of bankruptcy becomes real then will it be illegal to have paid the other creditors off? If I give my Dad the money back, will this seem like I have given an asset away? He gave me the money, its been in my bank account since January. (apart from what I have paid off of course).

I have written a note to my Dad explaining everything, the advice and all. He doesnt really give you the chance to tell the whole story, he is too busy thinking of a solution to the first sentance so I give up trying.

My Mother died 6 years ago, its been very hard for him. Then I split from my hubby, then the epilepsy, then the attempt.... Its all been a bit much for him and my kids to be honest.

I havent coped too well at all, I know I can cope now, its just they wont leave me alone, just in case. I have had many fits in the past, almost daily at the beggining. Its quite hard to explain, I have become a worry to him, he doesnt really listen, he just wants to sort it out, make it better so he isnt so worried. I have told him that I am fine, there is no need to worry, I can do this. It is after all my mess.

I cant find anyone on the forum who has been made bankrupt so I cant find out what will happen. Also I dont think I can go back to my old job if I am bankrupt, I have been advised not to anyway, there is talk of the company finding another suitable post for me though on a part time basis.

[chris.g]

Vicki, try not to worry and take one step at a time.
If you pay any more creditors then it MAY look as if you are favouring one over another, so I would personally not pay anything to any of them. Give your dad the money back, he may well have to explain that the money was soley to pay your creditors but you then were forced to go br and the money was given back to him. If you would prefer to file yourself than you can, this way it will be over sooner than if you waited for the creditor who is threatening you.
The best advice I had when we were heading for br was to take it bit by bit, try not to solve problems that are not here yet. The first step is to decide your next move, wait or file yourself.

Do try to not worry so much, stress is not good for you and may bring on a seizure. As it has already been said, these companies have ways to minimize the loss of debts. Take care of yourself & your family, xxxx

[Viki.W]

Hey Vicky, there are lots of members on here who have gone BR, they will all share their experiences with you I'm sure. Why don't you pop over to the sister site on http://www.bankruptcyhelp.org.uk/forum/

Lots of good advice and support on there from people in similar positions as yourself, keep posting here too as we all want to help. Viki X