DM
I just wanted to let you know, that whatever decision you make will be the right one for you. You've shown incredible strength, especially having had Post Natal Depression as well. I had PND after my second daughter and couldn't even leave the house - in fact if it weren't for my mother, I believe the children would have been taken away from me. It was utterly destructive - I completely rejected my youngest, trashed my marriage which despite infidelities, manic depression and a drink problem (and that was my OH!) has by some miracle survived and I certainly could not have done what you are doing now for a long time afterwards.
You will make the decision that is right for you and your family and as for those 'friends' - hitting rock bottom whether financially or emotionally (or indeed both) highlights who are your true friends, who care for you irrespective of your financial status, do not judge and will be there for you all the way through. I have found over the years that many fairweather friends have drifted away once we could no longer keep up with the Joneses, judging or embarrassed, but those who have stuck with me I treasure.
You are amazing and do not worry about your little one ... tears are honest and hugs are healing. Be kind to yourself, trust yourself and I know that you will get enormous support from this forum. Take care
