The children wanted to live with their father and i due to their mother being an alcoholic and abusive, but the court left them with their mother after the CAFCASS said they were clearly being abused. The judge said as my husband does shift work he cant have them and when the judge was reminded that it was the childrens wishes to be with their father he said "i'm not having a 11, 12 and 15 year old tell me what to do" so dont tell me a judge should be respected, and as a mother i find the way the court puts a mother before her children absolutely disgusting.
And actually it didn't benefit his kids, if she had only got CSA it is still enough to keep her in their house so no difference for them there. But due to the fact that we are now so bad off we have had to downsize our rented property and my husbands children no longer have a room to sleep in and we are unable to accommodate them for long periods of time (the ex is now happy for us to have them as much as possible now she has been awarded everything.)
So now my husbands children are upset because they cant get away from the grief as much as they used to.
As i said, the courts put the mother before the kids.
Last edited by Victoria.tv on Sun Dec 19, 2010 6:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
What a terrible comment by the judge. I hope he still took this important fact into account when coming to his decision.
Back to your current situation, I would phone your IP directly to raise a complaint on the basis that you feel that this debt should have been included and it is now causing you grief outside of the IVA. If your IP can't explain his decision or resolve the issue, he will give you the contact details of his regulatory body so that you can take the complaint further.
As Melanie says the decision on whether or not to continue with the IVA is yours alone, and it would be irresponsible for us to advise you on what to do based solely on the information here. But please keep posting and feel free to ask any questions.
If the Judge made such comments he was very wrong.
Under childrens law, children are allowed a say in these type of situations and they should be listened to. The needs and the safety of the child are paramount.
Thanks to Liam it has been a terrible couple of years and i have to say no to the judge considering the children's feelings.
I hope the IVA company does sort this problem out because i cant cope with having this hanging over our heads all the time, it gives her an excuse to keep contacting and harassing us too. Things have been so bad that even her dad has been issued an harassment order, terrible to think the way people refuse to move on and also let you move on.
And the courts for that matter, they should allow for a clean break order in such volatile divorce cases.
What do we do if they still refuse to add the £7000 to the IVA, we are going to up our monthly payment to them if they do.
I agree Sus that children are allowed their say, especially at the ages they were. When the CAFCASS officer put the emergency order into the court for the children to be removed we were back in court in 2 days and our barrister sat there saying how the children will be with us by the end of the day and no court in the land would do anything different.
So you can imagine the shock when the judge through it out.
Since then the police have been round to her house 4 times and once removed them, but because my husband does shift work that is the best place for them!!
Just spoken to them and they say it can be included but that the full amount is payable so i get the impression it wont end when the IVA does in 6 years, not sure?
It sounds as though the insolvency staff aren't being very clear. I would request something in writing from the IP personally explaining why this debt is preferential, and when it will be paid.
You have every right to know exactly when your IVA will finish and what is being paid to each creditor.
There is an expert from Blair Endersby on this forum who often deals with issues with that company. You can find contact details on the experts tab of this website. When the directory is online again I would also send an email to your IP personally using the form on the website below:
I cannot see why the full amount would be payable, unless there was something to this effect in the Consent Order which was brought to the attention of your partner's other creditors within the body of the IVA proposal. Get BE to clarify this for you as well.
Right well the exact wording on the form of order is:
The respondent shall pay or cause to be paid to the applicant a lump sum of £7000 by 19th Febuary 2010.
