Christmas !!!!!!!!!!

[Random Lady]

Is anybody else starting feel as down as I am?
We are 14 months into the IVA and the kids have got their Christmas lists ready but there is no way they are going to get any of the things they have requested as they are all far too expensive. I know and completely understand that my husband and I have got us into this sitation but I feel so desperately low and sad for my kids sake as I know they are going to be so disappointed on Christmas Day.[:(][:(][:(]

[MelanieGiles]

How old are your children? Younger children are rarely bothered about the amount of gifts they receive, or the amount they cost, and older children will be tolerant to the fact that you have little spare cash if you get them involved in family budgeting.

Ebay is a terrifix source of brand new as well as used, and with a little forward planning I am sure that you will all have a great time.

[Random Lady]

They are 8 and 10. The 10 year old isn't so bad as she isn't really into toys anymore and I can get away with clothing. It's the 8 year old who, although very bright with his maths, doesn't seem to understand that the money that was there isn't there anymore!!!. He sees all his friends getting Xbox, PS3 etc and, unfotunately for us, one of his friends is totally spoilt and it just doesn't register with our boy that you can't have everything you ask for. The response is always "*** asks his mum for an Xbox and gets it!!* I know this other child is completely spoilt rotten but it really makes things difficult for us and makes you feel like bad parents!!!!. Hence sitting on the computer at 12.55 in the morning!!!

[Julie]

Hi Random Lady, I'm sure you are not alone with these feelings. How old are your children?

I always went overboard and still felt guilty, yet if I asked my girls now what they had for Christmas years ago, they wouldn't be able to tell me one thing that disappointed them! ( they are 26 and 24 yrs ) What they will always say, is how happy Christmas was, making decorations, seeing everyone and games etc..

[Random Lady]

Hi Julie - just makes you feel really bad when, rightly or wrongly, they've always had a few things off their lists but not everything, then this year they won't get anything off their lists. I'm sure others will have the same problem but it is so difficult as we've in a way trained them to write out a list each year but at the end of the day, this year that is going to be a pointless exercise!!!! We were lucky this year in that I secured a better job but the increase in pay was gobbled up in the exta mileage and childcare costs yet the payment at yearly review remained the same - it does make you think if progressing in your career is worthwhile whilst in the IVA??? Guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Sorry for the ramblings guys.

[MelanieGiles]

Which child do you think will end up with the greater values and responsibility? Why not give them both a budget of what you can afford, and challenge them to go on line to see how many items they can get for that money. This teaches them to understand the value for money, and a little enterprise along the way. Do you have parents or other relatives that can do a little spoiling?

[Random Lady]

Thanks for the advice Melanie. Unfortunately the only relative we have locally is an 83 year old grandfather who gives them £20 each at Christmas, all other grandparents have unfortunately died. As a result we have considerable childcare costs each month to keep us going. The other family members live out of town or abroad so don't keep in touch much so it gets just makes things harder. We have tried to keep our financial position as low key as possible as it could affect my job. Basically it is just me and my husband!!!

[RHB]

Could you not encourage them to put something you can afford on the list that you know they'd like?

I know you feel bad but the worst Christmas I ever had was when I's bought loads of things for my dds & they barely touched them, made me feel sick!! Since then I've really cut down & some of their presents are things they need clothes wise etc. They like to unwrap them!!!

Best thing would be to find a game that you would all enjoy playing together as a family p & maybe encourage them to keep the 20 pound & put it together with any birthday money to get the more expensive items they want.

[kallis3]

Have you thought of trying Freecycle? You might be able to get them something from there or even Ebay or a car boot sale.

[carole2662]

My son has always writen a christmas list and at 21 still does. We have always told him to put on things from £1 to £50 so we have a wide range of things to choose from. This year it is mostly DVDs CDs and games for the x box 360. With all of these I have managed to get secondhand from bootsales and ebay and some new from Play.com who I find to be quite fair in their pricing.My daughter when she was little,around about 8 years old, always wanted what we couldnt afford so I gave her what we had coming in and what we had going out and told her she could have what was left over. She finnished up with 25p aweek pocketmoney.

[Truly]

Hi Random Lady...

Have you seen the website called "Freecycle"
http://www.uk.freecycle.org/

It's a site where people give away belongings/things (for free) that are too good to take to the tip. You can also advertise for things you want as well. You might be lucky.

It's certainly helped me on a few occasions.

[Random Lady]

Thanks for all the tips - using Ebay, Amazon and Play.com already. Will check out the freecycle website too. Think I was having a really bad day yesterday as everything seems so much tighter than last year!! Oh well only 46 months to go.
Thanks again

[kallis3]

I think we all have days like that. I know our Christmas will be a lot more frugal this year.

[briggadeen]

We are definitely being more frugal this year, however I did forward plan for Xmas, and had been saving with Parks - I got my vouchers recently and bought both hubbys and my siblings a small present. I had also saved in a Xmas club to get our son a new bike. Along with that he is lucky because both sets of grandparents spoil him and he will not know any real difference.

I've also joined the Xmas club to get the meat!! Before I couldn't have cared how much it cost.

[kallis3]

We only exchange token presents now as there's nothing we really want or need. I've got vouchers I earn for doing online surveys and they really help. Christmas food is already on order and parents will help out with the cost of that.