clothing allowance-bad day today

[lily]

Sometimes cat when the fighting and worrying are over, it hits you just what you have been through, the worry and all that. It will pass I am sure, watch the sedation with the prozac, if you dont feel its helping ask for something with a little bit of anti-anxiety built in such as amitryptaline.

I did ask Andy about a free cycle shop when I had something I wanted to donate, but it seems we are all over the place and it might be a bit much to administrate. I do have some unwanted stuff myself from my..... journey.

Anyhow, take care Cat, will be sending positve thoughts your way.

[emma_t]

cat 1 - I was prescribed prozac, not for depression but for severe tiredness (later found to be pcos and underactive thyroid amongst other things!!).
I was prescribed 1 a day, then up to 2, then up to 3 as any less was not making a difference. I found that on 2 and 3 my mood was very good (not suprising really!!) - it maybe that you need t visit the doctor again and tell him/her it is not working as it should. I am not suggesting you should just take more but a visit to the doctor maybe in order.

On the topic of a forum freecycle that would be fantastic. I joined the local freecycle to me yesterday and have had about 100 emails today - didn't know you got emailed with every item anyone was offering[:0] may have to unsubscribe to stop the torrent!!

I think the forum swapping things around would be great as we all have things we don't need and things we want.

[emma_t]

Don't want my last post to sound really pro-prozac and its a miracle cure, its not and it does not work for everybody. I think there are lots of routes for helping depression and tablets is only one of them, best to discuss all options with the doc.


On 3 per day I was a bit manic and hyper, I have since come off it altogether when the real root cause of my tiredness was discovered and this was a long old process as you need to cut down so slowly to avoid any side effects.

[Adam Davies]

Hi
The Swap Shop idea is a good one and I will look into the logistics of this
Regards

[chris.g]

I'm up for a swapshop....a great idea.

Cat1, I hope you are feeling a bit better today, like Emma suggests, why not visit the Dr and tell them your still feeling very low.
The enormity of everything can be overpowering at times and I also think that the relief is a bit of an anticlimax, you wait so long for your problems to be 'fixed' and when you have the solution the worry is still there,it's very hard to take some days.

[cat 1]

Hello Chris.Yes feeling alittle 'better' today.I made myself get dressed and showered.Went to Sainsbury's and TKMax.Got the children thier shoes.Spent £50 on both thier pairs.Apparently, they have got just what they wanted.I suggested a new pair of jeans for the eldest, pointing out the rip in the 'bottom' and hem.He said this was quite the intension and I was to leave his jeans alone!!!When did I get 'middle aged'? I accepted the ripped jeans with ease.
My mood I find is extremley variable.Always just under the surface are tears and fatigue like you wouldn't believe.It's when I stop I find the mind works overtime.It's not logical is it? I have more surplus money in the iva than I have had for years.Everything is paid.I am nor scared to open a door or answer a phone.I don't quite know what is wrong.It's everything and nothing.
My daughter wants a dog quite desperately.We have 5 cats.I have thought about it as it would give me an excuse to get out and about.I know I could walk without a dog in tow but I don't.Excercise is a good thing, but it's like catch 22.Too tired t excercise proberbly because I'm not excercising.I've promised my daughter a swim at the local pool tomorrow.I used to belong to a rather nice hotel/spa.They charge 1/2 price for NHS staff but it's still £37 monthly.Perhaps I should join again.I save this a more with the money I save not smoking (and putting on yet more weight)I used to swim lots then have a sauna/steam room for a treat when I's done a minimum of 40 small lengths.
Thank you all for listening to me moan and be self pitious.I should go to GP.I know this really.Have only just gone back in work after 4 weeks off.Just can't totally shake it off this time. And me a mental health nurse~???? Cat

[sblack]

Hi cat1
Glad to see you are feeling more positive today.
We have only just begun our IVA journey and are learning to budget. It is hard when you have children and you want to give them the things they want.
I had to laugh at what your son said about his jeans I have had that same converstion with mine too and yes it does make you feel your age.
Try and keep positive and remember why you are doing this and keep posting as you will get loads of support I know I have over the last few months.
Take care [:)]

[chris.g]

Glad you got the shoes right, i know how diffecult kids can be. My eldest,(girl of 21), is forever saying 'that's the most disgusting thing. ever!!' Funny though many of my clothes end up in her drawer!!! Hubby laughs and just rolls his eyes..........
The key is to take one day at a time and when the times are rough remember that not all days will be like that. I don't mean to harp on but it does sound as if a trip to the Dr is in order, as you don't have to be feeling so anxious and depressed. Look after yourself or you'll be in no fit state to look after others.....
xxxx

[MelanieGiles]

Cat

If you can afford to squeeze your gym membership again I would fully recommend that you do this. I am a regular member of a gym, but due to work pressure and generally being busy have not really attended since November last year, and boy do I feel it.

Although this may be viewed as a luxury - a trip to the gym is like a holiday if you can spare the time a couple of times a week, and is such a great destresser.

[chris.g]

Agree with Melanie on this one, I've only just started to exercise and I feel much better already. It's 'me' time with a difference. Take out your frustration on the weights and sort out your head on the tread mill. Our local council-run gym had free membership and I got reduced rates because we are on tax credits so doesn't need to cost that much.
Take care Cat,
xx

[no money eva]

I really agree with comments on how the clothing budgets and shoes for little ones are equated. I am lucky in the sense that I plucked up the courage to admit what we are going thru to my mom and she wont hear of me buying the kids (6 & 2) shoes says she will take them and get their shoes when needed. She even offered to pay for a party for my little one who was 2 last week, but argued with her that she didnt need one as she wouldnt know anyway. I love her to bits and it felt like a weight had been lifted when I told her as I was making up little white lies about things, I have never lied to my mom in 32 years! We all have a long journey ahead but it will be worth it in the end.

[nico]

I have suffered with depression since our money troubles began and now that we appear to be back on track under an IVA things should be back to normal. I would recommend you speak with your doctor about this. He may be able to prescribe you with something.

I also have 2 children (12 and 9) and feel as though I have let them down terribly and feel guilty that I cannot provide for them all that their friends have.

I put this into perspective and sat down with the kids and explained that we were finding things a bit tight. I explained that although I love them dearly I could not afford to give them pocket money yet could provide them with as much of my time as needed. I now do a weekly paper round with my 12 year old and my youngest walks a dog for a neighbour. They earn their own bit of money which I advise them to save in their own bank accounts. I hope that this will encourage them to save and be more thrifty than we ever were. It also gives me a bit of exercise afteer sitting behind a desk all day!

[Shining]

I do the same Nico, I explained to my fourteen year old daughter that things were tight financially and although she doesn't know the full details she knows enough, my sister in law gave her a cleaning job for an hour a week and I help her do it as I don't want her cleaning the toilet! (a Mum thing I guess!). Her brother also pays her £5.00 a week to clean his bedroom, he's a lazy blighter that earns too much! But like he says stops me moaning at him and helps her out financially. In total she gets £10 per week, saves £2.50 and has the rest for whatever she wants, currently saving for trainers that are going to cost in excess of £60! She buys all her own phone credit and everything and I do intend to treat her very well when my IVA is finished for being so understanding.

[kallis3]

I am so glad that with things being the way they are at the moment my daughter is 19 and able to provide a lot of her own stuff.

She is at Uni and presently living in halls, but will be moving back home next (and final) year as it is cheaper for her! She has a part time job at Asda, and this money is hers to do as she wants with. She buys all her own clothes. We try to help her out with food for Uni as we count this as part of our normal shopping. I also do all her washing for her (stupid I know, but at least I know it is done properly!)

I can sympathise with those of you with young kids - it ain't cheap and they grow out of stuff so quickly.

[angela18]

my daughter knows we have money problems. not the full extent. I posted a couple of months ago about a skiing trip from school which she never mentioned due to price. felt so guilty and cried for days. Our IVA meeting is next week, I still give her a little bit of pocket money because none of this is her fault and i'd rather do without myself. hopefully she will learn the value of money and never follow our paths.