custody of kids

[look_divine]

i know this is maybe a tough question to answer as some of you know my situtation etc id thought id ask
husband says tonight he wants custody of our 2 kids 16yr old boy and 5yr old girl
im really scared this could happen
he says because i work till 9pm he will get custody of them and i will only be able to see them on a weekend
im so upset any advice?
you all know im still at the marital home at the moment

[freelili]

Hi LD

Oh I am so sorry you do not need this. Have you decided what you will do when you do move out re the 9PM finish? If you have and do not leave the children alone then I dont think he has a leg to stand on.

I divorced my ex on the grounds that his behaviour was abusive. I wasnt a battered wife just verbal abuse in the extreme and the courts would not have given him custody of the children.

Unless he can prove that you are a danger or neglectful to your children I doubt that he could succeed in his claims.

You need to take legal advice on this matter. Your son at his age could choose anyway, he is old enough. I really feel for the children too.

I just hope the sun comes out and shines some happiness in your life soon.

I am so sorry youre in this horrible position and wish I could give you a hug.

Take some legal advice, you can get a free 30 min consultation with a family solicitor.

love

[kallis3]

I agree that you need to take legal advice on this. If you don't want to see a solicitor yet, go to CAB.

At the moment, what happens to the kids when you are work? I know you have put before that you take them to your moms. Do they stay there til 9, or does your husband pick them up?

Th 16 year old would probably be asked where he wanted to live anyway at that age as he is almost independent.

I would note down all these instances of mental abuse now so that when you go for a divorce, you have a record of it.

[Lisa2009]

I have to agree with the other posters.
He would have to prove that you were an unfit mum and im sure theres no way he could.
Its probably all talk. Just another way to hurt you.

[Wizzzard]

Hi LD
I'm sad to read the latest in your long line of woes although I bet you still have a smile not far away.

When I worked with Hull City Council we set up a web link exploring just what you're are going through ... the link is http://www.hullcc.gov.uk/portal/page?_p ... ema=PORTAL

Its well worth a look and it may also be worth looking on your local council site too

We're all thinking of you xx

[Viki.W]

LD, so very sorry you're going through this, as everyone has said, you need to take legal advice. I'm sure that he can't claim custody just because of that. I'm thinking of you. X

[tori]

Ld,i am no expert on this but i have absolutely no doubt that if your husband did try to get custody of your children just because you work late,that he wouldn't have a leg to stand on.It definitely sounds like he is just trying to scare you.I know lots of single mums who work unsociable hours and,as i am sure you do,provide their children with a perfectly happy and stable upbringing.My oh applied for custody of his daughter when she was ten years old for several reasons,the majority of which related to the fact that her mum was neglectful.And by neglectful i mean acts such as leaving her in on her own whilst she went out night clubbing,and leaving her with any tom dick or harry on her estate just so that she could go out with her friends.So,please do not worry,and as the others have said get some legal advice to put your mind at rest.Take care[:)]xx

[moretolife]

hi there look divine..just to echo all that has been said....and thinking of you...take care please....

[elldina]

oh ld
i don't know your story and don't want to pry but had to reach out to you
my sister was in a similar situation her husband was mentally abusive telling her that she would never get custody of her children due to her hrs work the way she looks , her mums mentally ill and she's stupid etc etc
three years ago she finally left him and did spend time in a refuge but has full custody of her children and he only gets to see them once a month tru a court order
so please get some advice and look after you and your children
elldina

[kallis3]

Yes, a 16 year old can (don't know why I didn't think of that ladyh!), after all you can be married and have your own kids at 16!

He sounds like a right rat doesn't he (the husband that is, not the son!)

[Skippy]

It sounds to me as though he's just being spiteful. Unless you are a bad mother (which I don't think for one minute you are!) I can't see any reason that you would. Good luck and stay strong xxx

[look_divine]

i know hes only trying to scare me etc but its not nice is it really
the nasty T**T

[freelili]

No it isnt nice, mine tried that too. I had the last laugh though. It was such a sense of satisfaction to have him grovelling on the phone for me to withdraw the 'points' against him. He went to a solicitor as he didnt want what he had done to be on record. The solicitor told him to beg me to retract them but I didnt. Then he came round to put the scaries on me so I phoned the police, he was then banned from within 300 yards. To think I had spent/ wasted those years being so scared. In my divorced they expressed concerns about him having access, so hang on in there, it gets better. Not that I think its a good thing, it was really sad but I had to do it so do you.

Good luck LD and hang in there.

[debtmountain]

Hi LD,

So sorry with what you are going through right now,sounds like he's just being spiteful. Do like the others have said,take some legal advice. I'm sure he won't get custody of your 2 kids,you're a good Mum,I'm sure of that.

Thinking of you and take care.
xx

[look_divine]

thanks everyone, he hasnt mentioned it since think he was having a moment and maybe has thought what he said was wrong
Who knows what he will come out with next