Divorce

[hara]

Dear all,

The situation of IVA is putting enormous strain on our marriage.

I do not blame my wife for this as she trusted me,I kept all my debts secret from her.

I feel I have betrayed my wife and children.

I seem to have become a burden.

And the relationship with my wife is strained.

If we are to divorce what will the situation be.

House is in my name.

I am paying 1000 pounds for IVA.

mortgage,interest only,1036,likely to go up in april,when fixed rate finishes.

mortgage 250000.

there is a 4th year remortgage clause.

If we divorce can IVA payments be reduced?

If we divorce,I do not want to keep house.Can I sell.

Can a variation meeting be called if we are going to be divorced.

Because of children I want to make sure that they have a house to live and I can go and rent some where else. So If I baught a smaller house can I pay mortgage so that children and their mother have a place to live.

IVA is only in my name.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Hara.

[MelanieGiles]

Hi there Hara and I am sorry that you are thinking along these lines.

If your marital difficulties relate purely to strained finances, you must ask your IP to see if the payments can be lowered. It is not worth losing your wife over.

But to answer your questions, as the house is in your name, creditors may have some difficulty in you selling and using the money to buy your wife another property, leaving you to rent, as you will also have child maintenance to pay on top of that. Technically, you could be in a worse situation financially.

Surely your wife has also benefitted from some of your debts, albeit you kept them secret from her, so should therefore bear some of the burden of responsibility for paying them back. I feel that you should both sit together with pen and paper and work out what you really can afford to offer to creditors, and then make an approach to your IP as soon as you can. Everyone knows that mortgage rates have increased over the last year or so, so it may not be too unreasonable to be seeking a reduction in your payments.


Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

To have me propose an IVA for you, please visit:
http://www.melaniegiles.com/ivaEnquiry.asp

See customer feedback at:
http://www.iva.com/iva_companies/IVA_Advice_Bureau.asp

[Adam Davies]

Hara
Try and set the ball rolling asap for a full and final settlement,explain this to your wife because if accepted you will no longer have the strain of funding the IVA payments.If you are not ready for the F+F just yet then take Melanies advice and ask for a variation meeting to lower your payments.
What part of the country do you live in Hara ?
Regards

Andy Davie
IVA.co.uk Spokesperson and Website Manager

About me:
http://www.iva.co.uk/andy_davie_profile.asp

IVA Helpline: 0800 197 4838
http://www.iva.co.uk/iva_helpline.asp

[hara]

Dear Mrs.Giles,

Thanks for your reply.

My wife has no earnings of her own.

May be, may be, if I can obtain a F&F settlement things may get a little better.

I hope there is a god to show me the way.

Hara.

[MelanieGiles]

There is a God, a good firm of IP's behind you, and lots of helpful advice on this forum to also help you along the way Hara.

Please promise that you will chat to your IP before the end of the week, and let us know what he/she advises. Trust me your wife is far more precious than having a few debts - but it is suprising how depressing the ending of one year and the start of another can be.

Look forward, not behind and treat 2008 as the year that you are going to get this matter put behind you - for good!

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

To have me propose an IVA for you, please visit:
http://www.melaniegiles.com/ivaEnquiry.asp

See customer feedback at:
http://www.iva.com/iva_companies/IVA_Advice_Bureau.asp

[hara]

Dear Mr Davie,

Thank you for your reply.Much appreciated.

We live in Leicester.

I have two sons from previous marriage.I have asked them to help me financially.

If they can help and with sale of house I should be able to do a F&F.

I understand that I have up to year to sell and arrange finances and settle a F&F.

I also understand that I do not have to contribute to IVA if a F&F is agreed and I have up to a year to settle.

I wish to god that things will get better.

All this worry is affecting my concentration at work as well.


Hara.

[hara]

Dear Mrs.Giles,

Thank you for your knid reply.

I will be phoning tomorrow morning to my IP.

It is always support staff that I have to speak to.But they seem to do a good job.As you probably know GT is my IP.

With regards.

Hara.

[Adam Davies]

Hara
Do you think that you could take time out and travel to Manchester on the 25th Feb ? I'm sure that you would benefit from meeting myself and other forum members,it may also be useful to bring Mrs Hara with you
Regards

Andy Davie
IVA.co.uk Spokesperson and Website Manager

About me:
http://www.iva.co.uk/andy_davie_profile.asp

IVA Helpline: 0800 197 4838
http://www.iva.co.uk/iva_helpline.asp

[hara]

Dear Mr Davie,

I shall try.

But my wife will not be coming,she has to look after children.

She has always left finances for me to look after and I have messed it up,she quite rightly feels that I have betrayed her and children.

I shall try and come to Manchester,it all depends on whether I can afford petrol for my car.

I will let you know nearer to the time.

If my two sons can help with the amount I have asked then I shall be able to propose a F&F,with cirtainity.I have asked them for 30,000 pounds each.Making it 60,000 total.

But I am not sure if they have that kind of money,even if they can manage a total of 50,000,

Then I should be able to get rest by selling house.

I think my total contributions over 5 years is in the region of 70,000.

I am thinking of offering between 55,000 to 60,000 as F&F.I have contributed 6 months in to IVA.

If IVA fails I have no will to live.I am not joking either.

That is why Im am doing everything I can.

I hope there is a God to see this through.

Thanks.

Hara.

[Soulgrowth]

Dear Hara

I just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you. We seem to both be approaching the beginning of 2008 with the only light on the horizon being the hopefulness of our creditors accepting a F&F ... so I wish you lots of luck.

I would also strongly urge you to get along to the Manchester meeting if you possibly can. I have had the honour of attending a few of the meetings down south and it is always wonderful to be able to put names to faces and meet up with such inspiring people. I have the Manchester date in my diary and may or may not be able to attend depending on working commitments ... but I am sure that you would find it very helpful [:)]

Debbie

www.familyceremonies.co.uk

www.soulgrowth.co.uk

[Martin2011]

Good luck Hara,

Hope 2008 sees things improving for you, and as Melanie says, if you can find a way to keep your family together, that has far more value than any debt problems. Fingers crossed for you...

Martin

[Skippy]

Hi Hara, as Melanie says please, please speak to your IP - I would ask to speak directly to him/her rather than to their support staff. It is not worth losing your wife over money. I'm sure you haven't messed up, and that you did what you thought was right at the time.

I do believe there is a God, and that everything happens for a reason, although it's not always obvious what that reason is. Please don't say that you won't have the will to live - there is a solution for you, it's just a matter of finding it.

Good luck, and please keep posting even if only for moral support x

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/