Do they know?

[vimto1029]

I like your thinking Merlin!

[plasticdaft]

font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica">quote:<hr height="1" noshade>Originally posted by lem

You know Paul, our daughter is 13 and we keep thinking in another year or so we might talk to her about it, how did your son react? and how much did you tell him? I don't want to her spend her life worrying for us that's what puts me off, but by the same token, I think it would make life a little easier if she knew

We explained it to him one summers day when he was moaning that ALL his friends were going away on holiday. He is an intelligent lad so we didnt have to sugar coat anything,just told him the whole truth,the reasons we got into debt etc. His 1st reaction was to point out that his playstation was bought on my platinum tsb card and if I wasnt repaying my debts in full the bank in fact bought it for him. The bank also paid for 2 Florida holidays!!!

We were almost 30 months into our 42 month agreement and he has counted down the months along with us.

He knows why he has missed out on some things but realises that we are in a much better way now than were and we plan on another Florida holiday next year,paid for up front this time!!!

Kids take in much more than we ever realise so your daughter may already be wondering whats going on. Have a chat with her is my advice,if nothing else it may just teach her a valuable life lesson!!

Paul

[Broke of London]

I've told a few people and their reactions have been unanimously underwhelming, no hysterics, no censure, no disowning me! More along the lines of "it's so easy to get into debt/ I'll be paying my cards off forever/good idea". If anyone feels they are bottling things up; it's worth trying to talk to a member of your family or a close friend. In fact, when I think about it, most people who are close to me know and encourage me and celebrate the little milestones with me! Just food for thought...

[kallis3]

Stepdaughter is in an IVA herself and stepson is on a DMP so they ate both aware of our problems. Daughter and son in law are also aware.

My parents would disowne us both if they knew. I had enough problems with them when I split up.with my first husband so I'm not going through that again!!!!

[vimto1029]

It's times like this that this forum comes good. It's through the support of those going through the same that will help us all through it and come out of it stronger!

[Broke of London]

The forum is a godsend!

[antm]

Only my OH, thats mainly because she kept moaning, why you got no money! lol

She has been supportive all the way, paid for a holiday for us both, something i have to repay now its over, just hope a biking holiday in scotland will appeal!

My mum thinks i just restructured my debt and started again, she offered to help but i refused her money, she needs it for her retirement.

[kev59]

my sons, ex wife and a good friend know about my iva.
sons had to be told why I could not keep on helping there mum out of the hole she keep getting her self in.
My friend as I needed someone to talk too, about the mass I was in.

[picklepants]

My mum knows that we are in the process of an IVA & i have told my son that money is now really tight & we haven't got the funds to live the life style that we have been doing. Apart from that i will tell no one

[kallis3]

My daughter and her husband and my stepkids know and that's it!!

[Pandy]

My sons both know and a few people at work, mainly because they are in IVA's themselves, I told my sister when she was down with us around Christmas. I am not ashamed of the situation we are in, it was circumstances with us, hubby being made redundant and not entitled to any benefits due to my wages then when he did get a job having a heart attack a week before starting it, he is now pretty unemployable being 64 in Dec and with a dodgy heart.
If anyone mentions anything to do with debt I tell them,

[kallis3]

I'm sat opposite my parents at the moment - hubby is trying to get my dad to do something on the computer - I dread to think what is going to happen!!! If they knew our situation they would not be happy.

I don't mention anything about debt at all other than kids. I'm ashamed of having spent all the money and getting in this situation but proud of the fact that I'm doing something about it.

[dunkynuts]

No one knows about my situation except you lot.If I look back at the money I've wasted over the years I feel sick,if I had been more savvy I could have paid my mortgage off by now,but I can't have any regrets
as I am now doing something about it!

[kallis3]

Sorry to say that I don't regret mine - the memories from the holidays I can't take away.

Wouldn't be doing that now though!!

[Skeef143]

font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica">quote:<hr height="1" noshade>Originally posted by kallis3

Sorry to say that I don't regret mine - the memories from the holidays I can't take away.

Wouldn't be doing that now though!!

I didn't even do the holidays you did Kallis, but I did weekends away etc and other stuff, and I don't regret doing it either.

As for the original question, obviously you lot know, and two or 3 friends in similar predicaments do. I didn't tell my parents about the mess I was in, mainly to not put any worry on them, but my mum opened one of my M & S statements in error whilst I was on my DMP! [:(] I didn't have the heart to tell her that was only the half of it... But they do help me out with some things, for which I am very grateful.