End of the month - broke or ok........

[michael.t47]

thats where i was too jan, i have enjoyed not having a overdraft over recent months. not enjoyed the letters an phonecalls tho. but hopefully that will be over after 29th

[Casper]

I would certainly agree with Emma i know i am always skint but i much rather have a balance of zero than minus 400

Yep, same as that. [:D]

[elizabethr]

Like everyone else some months are better than others but for me all months in an iva is better than pre-iva when I Was robbing Peter to pay Paul and never knowing how I was going to pay.Pre-iva I always budgeted for the essentials like car tax and insurance etc but I never had any money left for things like clothes etc so that went on cards. Now I have been given a new lease of life and although I need time to build up my "pots" I feel liberated and only have what I can pay for. Really its only like I was brought up - we didn't have credit to be able to have things in advance and we really didn't think we were missing out. Its only these times of society that have made us feel we are missing out if we can't "have it now". I really feel like entering into an IVA is my opportunity to wipe the slate clean and start again from scratch.

[Jan01]

Keeping everything crossed for you on the 29th Michael it is such a relief once everything is sorted, not having to worry who is on the end of the phone will a card be accepted for a payment etc.

I am now money poor but life rich nothing can beat that.

Jan

[Jan01]

Lilli

Thank you for your support as you say it is difficult to get back to normal I am at work which is good but it is silly things that can set me off. A lady at work is being very kind but talks to me in a very low sad voice I want to say to her talk to me properly but I don't want to upset her as i know she is being very supportive. life will get back to some normality soon I just think I am so lucky I have had my loving and caring dad for 54 years and I think of some of the kids I work with who don't have or have never had a dad to take of them them.

Have a good week end

Jan

[Skippy]

I understand how you're feeling Jan, and like Lily I want to give you a big hug. Dave and I worked for the same company when my dad died, and someone said to him that he hoped he didn't see me as he didn't know what to say. I wanted to say to him and everyone else that yes my life had changed, and yes I was very fragile but I was still the same person.

I'm thinking of you Jan, and I hope you're ok xxx

[Jan01]

thanks Skippy

things have changed for me as they do for people who have lost some one close. But as you say I want people to treat me the same yes be understanding if I get upset. But for them to acknowledge what has happened as we know no amount of words can make things better but ignoring the situation is far more hurtful. I like to talk about my dad (not to the extent of boring people I hope) I don't want to erase him from my life and forget him I want to celebrate his life to do other wise is disrespectful to him.
This site and the people on it are fantastic not only is there support for the money problems but for everything else. Every one is so special who posts on here. I am so glad I found this site.

Jan

[Skippy]

I totally agree. I wanted to be treated as a more delicate version of myself, if that makes sense. My doctor signed me off after my dad died because my boss kept calling me to go back to work. I worked in a call centre at the time, and there was no way I could handle people shouting at me, but she wouldn't move me to another department. I had to collect something from the office, and she phoned me afterwards and told me not to go in again as I was bad for morale.

I like to talk and laugh about my dad and the things he said. Like you say, to cut them out is disrespectful. Apparently I'm getting more like my dad as I'm getting older, and when my mum tells me that I take is as a compliment, although I'm not sure it's always supposed to be!

[MelanieGiles]

My Dad died 20 years ago last Tuesday, and to be honest I don't think that there has been a day since then when I did not feel him very close to me. He was a big, jolly man with a super personality and I still miss him every single day.

[Jan01]

Where do people get the idea that you can forget someone after a certain length of time people close to us are with us for always--thank goodness I am sure i will still ask my dad for advice as time goes on can't break a habit of a life time.

Jan

[Skippy]

My dad was ill from when I was 4 until he died 20 years later. He had to give up work a year after he was diagnosed and so he was always at home. When he died the house seemed empty. Looking back I took it for granted that he was always there. I'm not particularly spiritual, but I do feel he's with me all the time, and I still feel that I let him down by going BR - it would have broken his heart knowing his little girl was in trouble and he couldn't help.

It's strange, even 9 years later I sometimes think 'I must tell dad about that' and then I remember I can't.

[kallis3]

I'm very fortunate that both my parents are still alive, and in reasonable health. Mom is 84 and Dad turns 80 next month. I know that time is now probably short, so I do make the most of it.

My brother in law dropped dead 19 years ago and we frequently think of him and talk about him. I don't think you ever forget them.

[andrewgoodman121]

It is not the fact that you learn to Budget, it is the fact that YOU HAVE TO BUDGET!!!as that is what you are left with or the IVA will fail and the the thought of going Bankrupt to so many people in IVA 's who are paying into it is Frightening.

[Skippy]

You still have to budget if you're BR - it's not as easy as some people think!

[freelili]

If I am totally honest I still miss my mother so much, she was there when I needed help and a break and I am still trying hard to find a way to live without her. I never wanted to burden her with my problems and I never did but I was so grateful for the help she offered when I got into debt. Even though I know it wouldnt have changed anything, I still wish I hadnt told her, made her worry for the last days of her life, if only I had known, it was her last week. I still find it so difficult to believe someone could go to Birminhgam on Monday, go out for a meal on Tuesday night, come out with my sister and I for the day, we went to lay flowers down for Dad that very day. Go home and just die.

My Dad died young from cancer, it was very fast like less than two weeks from diagnosis to death. They were very happy together and its so nice to think they are together again now.

I know they are both with me, I am not unhappy like I was last year, I feel quite free now and have come to terms with what has happened.

I have changed quite a lot though, I am much more anxious than I used to be, I just dont want to lose anyone else that I love. I am not fragile but I realise how fragile life is.

With that said I feel I am a better person for having gone through the debt. I was always so stressed out trying to work, keep house and look after children. I am not able to return to work as yet and live on benefits. Money is very tight but I am living within my means and honestly and I love that. So do my children, I have more time for them and realise there is more to life than.... stuff.